Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Church News

"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."



He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"



Church was pretty much over at that point...

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Voting Republican

 
Subject: Voting Republican
 
What You Need To Believe To Be A RepublicanWhat You Need To Believe To Be A Republican*
 
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton
 
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
 
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
 
 The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
 
  A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions                                    affecting all mankind without regulation.
 
  The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and
 combat pay.
 
  If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
 
  A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
 
  Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
 
  Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
 
  A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
 
  Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
 
  The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
 
  Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and
 you need our prayers for your recovery.
  Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
 
  What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
 
  Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
 
  Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.
 
  Friends don't let friends vote Republican.Powered By Qumana

Which Superhero are you?

Your results:
You are Superman
























Superman
80%
Spider-Man
75%
Hulk
65%
Robin
60%
Iron Man
60%
Batman
60%
The Flash
60%
Green Lantern
60%
Supergirl
55%
Wonder Woman
40%
Catwoman
35%
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.


Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Friday, March 24, 2006

QUOTE

"Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible
and swore to uphold the Constitution. You didn't place your hand on the
Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible." -- Constitutional law professor
Jamie Raskin, to a Maryland Senate committee on marriage equality

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Movie theaters may ask to jam cell phones - Yahoo! News

Movie theaters may ask to jam cell phones - Yahoo! News: "AS VEGAS (Reuters) - Movie theater owners faced with falling attendance are considering asking federal authorities for permission to jam cell phone reception in an attempt to stop annoying conversations during films, the head of the industry's trade group said on Tuesday.
ADVERTISEMENT

Industry leaders at the ShoWest conference for theater owners want to find ways to win back crowds."

Monday, March 13, 2006

Russell and Jack

Jack was very happy to have anyone hold him. Seemed to find Uncle Russell especially comfortable. Posted by Picasa

Rachel on Christmas

Looking especially beautiful. Was wonderful having all my kids at home. Posted by Picasa

Liked his snack

 Posted by Picasa

Harry in a Box

I guess it is true. Harry loved playing in the box with styrofoam peanuts as much as he liked any of his toys on Christmas morning. Unfortunately, he also like to eat them so the playtime was short lived.
 Posted by Picasa

Me and Baby Jack

Finally got around to moving pictures from my camera to my PC. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......



The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Doctor: Autistic boy died from drug mixup

Doctor: Autistic boy died from drug mixup: "THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

PITTSBURGH -- A 5-year-old autistic boy died from a drug mixup, not the lead-poisoning treatment that was attempted to ease his disorder, a federal health official who reviewed the boy's autopsy results said.

Instead of a synthetic amino acid that treats lead poisoning, Abubakar Tariq Nadama was given a medication that removes calcium, said Dr. Mary Jean Brown, chief of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's lead poisoning prevention branch.

'It's a case of look-alike/sound-alike medications,' Brown said Tuesday. The drug 'acted as a claw' that pulled too much calcium from his blood, causing an emergency event.

She said the child was given Disodium EDTA instead of Calcium Disodium EDTA. 'They sound alike. They're clear and colorless and odorless. They were mixed up,' Brown said.

The treatment Abubakar was receiving, called chelation therapy, is FDA-approved for lead poisoning. The therapy has not been proven to help autistic patients, though some parents and doctors advocate it because they believe autism is caused by heavy metals.

Abubakar of Monroeville died Aug. 23 in his doctor's office after his third chelation treatment, the coroner has said. Brown reviewed the autopsy report for the CDC.

Dr. Roy Eugene Kerry, who treated Abubakar, did not immediately return a message left at his office Wednesday morning by The Associated Press.

Butler County Coroner William Young has said he plans to meet soon with District Attorney Randa Clark and the state police to determine if an inquest is warranted. For now, Young is classifying the death as an accident."

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The, Um, 'Class' of '06

The, Um, 'Class' of '06: "Dear Miss Manners:

My daughter will graduate in May. I have had discussions with her about the benefits of homeownership and thought it would be great to start a 'my future home' account for her, and have her monetary graduation gifts directed there. She likes that idea.


I spoke with my financial adviser and found that we could very easily set up a trust for that purpose. The problem is getting the word out. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable to include the trust information in the graduation announcement. She thinks it's tacky and in poor taste and believes that I should call everyone and share the information personally.

If you agree with me, please let me know how I can tastefully word the insert; if not, what would you suggest as an alternative?

As an alternative, Miss Manners would suggest teaching your daughter that financial responsibility means paying your own bills, not begging from others, and that common sense says that no one, no matter how fond of your daughter, wants to buy her a house.

It is not only the magnitude of your nerve that makes it rude. Soliciting donations and presents has become so commonplace that people now believe trolling for money and goods is tasteless only when it seems especially greedy. You would get the prize for that, but those who make smaller demands are no less rude. Just less imaginative."

Salon.com | The big lie

I love Garrison Keillor. I wonder who he is talking about?

Salon.com | The big lie: "But who tells the truth to the man who is driving straight into the setting sun and thinks he's heading due east? His wife murmurs that, uh, maybe we should look at a map, and he accuses her of being a defeatist who tries to tear him down any way she can in order to conceal her own lack of ideas. The man is heading the wrong way and speeding and the idiot light is flashing -- low oil pressure -- and the idiot is trying to be manly and authoritative but everyone can see he's faking it, hoping for God to rearrange the landscape for his convenience. Someone ought to speak up, and yet he is fascinating. As the administration is these days, so resonant and believable. The Arctic icecap melts and the Chinese finance our tax cuts and someday we will have spent six years and trillions of dollars to bring democracy to Iraq, whatever that may mean, and the SUV of state turns toward the setting sun, driven by cocker spaniels. And there is so much intensity there, and they are so much in the moment."

LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION!



Thought for the day



LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION!

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In vet medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Friday, January 13, 2006

BobGeiger.com: Why Does George W. Bush Hate America?

BobGeiger.com: Why Does George W. Bush Hate America?: " If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator' ~ George W. Bush, December 18, 2000


Here's something that President Bush has been saying a lot this week: '... we should not fear debate. It's one of the great strengths of our democracy that we can discuss our differences openly and honestly -- even in times of war.'


And no matter how many times he or his surrogates mouth the words, they ring just as false as the last.


I'm really beginning to wonder why Bush doesn't just cut to the chase and start rounding up all of us who disagree with the Iraq war -- and his entire method of governing -- and ship us off to some massive forced-labor camp in the middle of the Nevada desert. He can use subtle code phrases all he likes, but the words coming out of this president's mouth might as well have been spoken by any two-bit dictator in the world.


Debate is good – just so you agree with him. And dissent on the Iraq war is fine – just so long as you don't mind aiding and abetting the terrorists. Bush has given two big speeches in the last 48 hours and in both of them he tried very hard to frame the 'debate' in exactly that way, while still coming off as reasonable to his sycophantic audiences."

Thursday, January 05, 2006

AlterNet: Six Degrees of Osama bin Laden

AlterNet: Six Degrees of Osama bin Laden: "Do you remember a parlor game that was popular a few years ago called 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon'? The game was to name any actor and then see who could connect him to the actor Kevin Bacon in the least number of moves. For example, Elvis Presley: Presley once appeared in a film with Ed Asner, Ed Asner later appeared in a film with Kevin Bacon, therefore Presley has a Bacon score of two.

How long do you think it would take to connect you to Osama bin Laden?"