Salon.com Books | "The Truth (With Jokes)"

Al Franken pukes into his wastebasket in Chapter 4 of his new book, then spends Chapter 5 in "Rove-induced septic shock."
Salon.com Books | "The Truth (With Jokes)": "He then analyzes this victory, citing figures from the Economist showing that the percentage of the electorate who voted on the basis of 'moral or ethical issues' was actually lower in 2004 than in the two previous elections. 'Okay? All right? So it wasn't moral values, asshole. (Although coarse language may have played a role.) It was terror. Terror. TERROR!!!' writes Franken. He cites some 'not so widely reported' remarks made by Dick Cheney while campaigning: 'We have very credible evidence that tells us that if [John] Kerry wins, the following states will be hit: Ohio, Florida, Pennsylvania ...' This, like many others in the book, is one of those jokes you don't laugh at so much as nod at, thinking, 'Oh man, that's so true.' Indeed, here and elsewhere, Franken's not just being funny. He includes some pretty interesting stuff about a subfield of social psychology called 'terror management theory.' One TMT study showed that -- paraphrasing here, but not making it up -- test subjects, including liberals, were more likely to prefer Bush over Kerry if they'd been prompted first to think about death."

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.


2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.


3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.


4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"


5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.


6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.


7. Things you buy now won't wear out.


8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.


9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.


10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.


11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.


12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.


14. You sing along with elevator music.


15. Your eyes won't get much worse.


16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.


17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.


18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.


19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.


20. You can't remember who sent you this list. And, you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Quotes of the Day - The Quotations Page

Quotes of the Day - The Quotations Page: "Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

- Alfred E. Newman"

Salon.com | The land of Republican perfection

Salon.com | The land of Republican perfection: "At this point in time, I don't see Karl Rove or Tom DeLay writing a good mea culpa, and I doubt that Colin Powell or Donald Rumsfeld will either. And of course presidents never do, and here is one more proof that we are not now nor have we ever been a Christian nation. Confession is at the heart of the faith. (All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.) But under this administration, the faith has been revised, all the stuff about the poor has been tabled and the confession of sin omitted, and prayer is now a promotional device in which you thank God for making you the terrific person you are. In the Christian view of the world, these folks rank lower than outright atheists, which is a terrifying aspect of the faith -- better never to have believed than to use sacred things for your grimy self-aggrandizement -- and which might scare a Republican into writing a decent book. One can hope for this."

Qoute of the day

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.
- Cullen Hightower

Chicago Tribune - Obituaries

Now here is a man after my own heart.
Chicago Tribune - Obituaries: "In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans."

Great cartoon. http://www.thenation.com/doc/20051010/comix 

Great pic 

AlterNet: From The Wire

AlterNet: From The Wire: "From the Wire

Provided by HuffingtonPost.com

Electricity Turned On In New Orleans Neighborhood For Bush, Turned Off When He Left...
Posted on September 16, 2005 at 1:22 PM.

I am duty-bound to report the talk of the New Orleans warehouse district last night: there was rejoicing (well, there would have been without the curfew, but the few people I saw on the streets were excited) when the power came back on for blocks on end. Kevin Tibbles was positively jubilant on the live update edition of Nightly News that we fed to the West Coast. The mini-mart, long ago cleaned out by looters, was nonetheless bathed in light, including the empty, roped-off gas pumps. The motorcade route through the district was partially lit no more than 30 minutes before POTUS drove through. And yet last night, no more than an hour after the President departed, the lights went out. The entire area was plunged into total darkness again, to audible groans. It's enough to make some of the folks here who witnessed it... jump to certain conclusions."

Me

I need to post this so I can get the URL.

God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

NEW ORLEANS—Throughout the Gulf Coast, Caucasian suburbanites attempting to gather food and drink in the shattered wreckage of shopping districts have reported seeing African?Americans 'looting snacks and beer from damaged businesses.' 'I was in the abandoned Wal-Mart gathering an air mattress so I could float out the potato chips, beef jerky, and Budweiser I'd managed to find,' said white survivor Lars Wrightson, who had carefully selected foodstuffs whose salt and alcohol content provide protection against contamination. 'Then I look up, and I see a whole family of [African-Americans] going straight for the booze. Hell, you could see they had already looted a fortune in diapers.' Radio stations still in operation are advising store owners and white people in the affected areas to locate firearms in sporting-goods stores in order to protect themselves against marauding blacks looting gun shops."

New Scripture -- The 23rd Qualm

3rd QUALM .... Freudian Slipture

Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.

He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.

He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness. He restoreth my fears.

He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will find no exit, for Bush still art in office.

His tax cuts for the rich and his media control, they discomfort me.

He preparest an agenda of deception in the pretense of true religion.

He anointest my head with blood-won oil. My health insurance runneth out.

Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of his term,

And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.

Author unknown

SF Gate: Multimedia (image)

SF Gate: Multimedia (image): "Two faces to Piraro's art / Revised cartoon deletes reference to same-sex marriage
The two different Bizarro cartoons. Images courtesy of King Features Syndicate "

My son James and his son Harry share a bottle. 

Grandpa and Jack. 

Jack in his blessing (confirmation) outfit. 

My son Russell and my good friend Larry. 

Me and the grandkids. Harry wanted me to give him his baby brother. 

Me and Harry out for a walk. 

Couldn't have said it better myself.