Hurricane guidelines for faculty members

Barbara forwarded this to me today. Austin hasn't actually had a hurricane since 1961 so we aren't too terribly worried about Ike, but it does pay to be prepared.

As we watch the progress of Hurricane Ike, the following are some guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1

No excuse for being late to work. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2

Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans. We also advise you wear goggles.

Hurricane Category #3

Whereas most of the area will be flooded, we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to those in need of crossing the street to get to the office building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4

More than likely, there will be no electricity, so make sure you charge the batteries in the lap tops. We will also have manual typewriters available to all staff members that forget to charge the batteries. Ladies, please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5

Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chair when the windows blow out of the building. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake and ice-cream from HEB at 3:00 PM in the kitchen.