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I thought about this all day today. My own take is that forgiveness is more for the giver. I used to think that giveing forgiveness was also giving license to someone to do the same thing over again. Of course I have got passed that, I know now that there is nothing wrong with protecting myself.
DEAR ABBY: What is "true forgiveness"? I said some terrible things to a friend in anger and didn't hear from her for a few weeks. Recently, I received an e-mail saying she "forgave" me but no longer wants to keep in touch, adding that it is important for her to know that I am happy.
I wrote back saying I still want to stay in touch and remain friends. I apologized profusely for my lapse in judgment, but she hasn't responded.
Abby, I thought forgiveness meant to absolve, to cease to feel resentment -- to "wipe the slate clean." Am I wrong to feel that? Isn't she still holding a grudge against me? I realize it's up to her to communicate, but I'm confused how she can claim she forgives me while still harboring bad feelings. Can you help? -- PERPLEXED IN SOUTH DAKOTA
DEAR PERPLEXED: To forgive someone does not mean that you develop amnesia. While the woman you hurt may not be holding a grudge, she may consider you too "dangerous" to allow back into her life. May I offer a word of advice to you? Continue moseying on down the road of life, and in the future watch your mouth, or eventually you may find yourself friendless.
hey, a word of advice .. unsolicited though it is .. the colors on your blog make it difficult to read
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