Guilt

Barbara is back to school, so I am dropping John off every morning at an adult day care (for lack of a better term, I am sure I will be corrected later.)

I have to say that I am feeling very guilty about this. On one hand, I know that I have to make a living and that it is an okay place for him to be, he is taken care of, entertained, fed, and they won't let him hurt himself. On the other hand, I don't think he belongs there. I get the impression that he is certainly brighter and more aware than most of the other clients.

One of the reasons we chose this particular facility was because it is close to our house and pretty much on my way to work and on the way home for Barbara. This will all change next week, they are moving to a place where both of us will have to fight traffic getting there and coming back.

I am not sure what are alternatives are at the moment.

When John was diagnosed 19 plus years ago, we decided to take him to a learning center in Irving Texas, which was on my way to work back then. As I recall, he was only there for a few hours a couple of times a week, but it was heartbreaking leaving him there, I could hear him cry all the way out to my car. He doesn't cry now, but it doesn't feel much better to me.

Such is life. I of course am grateful that we found this place through one of my co-workers. Maybe we will find something better.