About the writer
Joan Walsh is Salon's managing editor.
My Way News: "NEW YORK (AP) - Andy Rooney set the phone and e-mail lines at CBS buzzing over his commentary - in which he said God was speaking through him - calling Mel Gibson and the Rev. Pat Robertson 'wackos.'"
Salon.com | The culture-war president: The culture-war presidentBy Arianna Huffingtonhttp://www.salon.com/opinion/huffington/2004/02/18/culture_war/index.htmlFeb. 18, 2004 | "I'm a war president," George Bush told us. But as the body count in Iraq continues to rise, the president's approval rating plummets, and the furor over phantom WMD, sexed-up intel, and Bush's spotty Air National Guard service refuses to go away, it appears Karl Rove is planning a small rewrite for his candidate: "I'm a culture war president." Remember that divisive pre-9/11 campaign staple? Well, it's flared up again -- with a vengeance and a rash of new administration actions clearly aimed at shoring up the president's Christian conservative base. In the last month, the president has traded in his too-tight flight suit for a revival tent, backing a new anti-obscenity crusade, anti-condom sex-ed programs, a renewed commitment to fighting the drug war, and his attorney general's efforts to poke around the private medical records of women who've had abortions. He even hinted in his State of the Union that he'd be willing to endorse a constitutional ban on gay marriage. With Silver Starred John Kerry threatening the president's hold on the high ground of national defense, Team Bush has decided it's time to switch battlefields and start screaming about Sodom and Gomorrah. And who has time to talk about the 3 million jobs lost on Bush's watch when gay couples are trying to make their lifetime commitment legal? Heaven forbid. You would think the Christian right has more pressing matters to worry about. America now has 35 million people living in poverty, many of them working poor. And Christian conservatives are up in arms about gay marriage? Maybe they should take another look at the Bible and its admonition that we shall be judged by what we do for the least among us. Indeed, if you removed every reference to poverty in the New Testament, the Good Book would be reduced to little more than a Not Bad Pamphlet. In the words of Rev. Jim Wallis, "The Prophets would be decimated, the Psalms destroyed, and the Gospels ripped to shreds." On the other hand, there is not a single mention of gay marriage or the need to ban it. Regrettably, this perversion of presidential priorities is not limited to campaign rhetoric -- it extends to how our increasingly limited tax dollars are being spent. Take the administration's new anti-obscenity push -- a blast from our blue-nosed past. Bush's 2005 budget calls for a boost in funding for government efforts to crack down on the adult entertainment industry -- one of the precious few non-terror-related programs to garner a spending increase. I kid you not: While the White House is cutting back on its housing budget, veterans' benefits, and the National Institutes of Health, it's opening up the coffers to make sure you have a harder time downloading the Paris Hilton sexcapade on the Net. But that's not even the worst of it. The Justice Department has recently assigned a team of FBI agents to focus exclusively on adult obscenity cases. That's right, with the war on terror in full swing, our war president is going to have a group of G-men doing nothing but working the porn beat when they could be tracking down -- oh, I don't know -- terrorist sleeper cells. Talk about your misguided allocation of manpower. I don't know about you, but I certainly feel safer knowing the feds are going to be keeping close tabs on Jenna Jameson. We see the same loopy sense of right and wrong being played out in the Janet Jackson firestorm. Less than two weeks after the shock and bra of the Super Bowl, Bush's congressional cronies were already holding hearings on the matter. Compare that to the foot dragging that followed 9/11. It took 14 months -- and a candlelight vigil outside the White House by the victims' family members -- before the president finally relented and the 9/11 commission was created. Now that's indecent. For the moral relativists in the Bush administration, the definition of sin seems to depend on whether the sinner can further their political purposes. So Justin exposing Janet's boob is a sin, but White House staffers exposing Victoria Plame is a win. Profiting from porno is a sin, but Halliburton's wartime profiteering is a win. Two men getting hitched is a sin, but Cheney and Scalia shacking up in a duck blind is a win. Telling students condoms can prevent STDs is a sin, but lying about WMD is a win. And so, apparently, is GOP staffers hacking into Senate computers and Tom DeLay illegally funneling corporate money to Texas politicians. The president's culture war is little more than breasts and circuses. Election-year weapons of mass distraction. Hail to the panderer in chief.
Salon.com News | Bush 'troubled' by gay marriage issue: "Feb. 18, 2004 | WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush said Wednesday he was 'troubled' by gay weddings in San Francisco and by legal decisions in Massachusetts that could clear the way for same-sex marriage. But he declined to say whether he is any closer to backing a constitutional ban on such vows.
'I have watched carefully what's happening in San Francisco, where licenses were being issued, even though the law states otherwise,' Bush said. 'I have consistently stated that I'll support law to protect marriage between a man and a woman. Obviously these events are influencing my decision.'
'I am watching very carefully, but I am troubled by what I've seen,' Bush said.
He didn't answer directly when asked whether he is any closer to endorsing a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages, as conservative groups say the White House has assured them Bush will do.
'I strongly believe marriage should be defined as between a man and a woman,' Bush said during an Oval Office session with Tunisian President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali. 'I am troubled by activist judges who are defining marriage.'
'People need to be involved in this decision,' Bush said. 'Marriage ought to be defined by the people not by the courts. And I'm watching it carefully.'
Gay and lesbian couples from Europe and more than 20 states have lined up outside the ornate San Francisco City Hall since city officials decided to begin marrying same-sex couples six days ago. City officials said 172 couples were married Tuesday, a pace that would bring the total number who have taken vows promising to be 'spouses for life' to over 3,000 by Friday.
The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court recently ruled that it is unconstitutional to bar gay couples from marriage. U"
Romney out front; Bush aides in touchBoston Globe, February 13, 2004
Box 2378, Boston, MA, 02107
(Fax: 617-929-2098 ) (E-Mail: letter@globe.com
)
( http://www.boston.com/globe
)
http://www.boston.com/news/specials/gay_marriage/articles/2004/02/13/romney_out_front_bush_aides_in_touch/
By Frank Phillips, Globe Staff
As Governor Mitt Romney navigates the volatile issue of gay marriage, his staff is in "regular contact" with the staffs of the Bush White House and the national Republican Party, a top Romney aide said yesterday.
Eric Fehrnstrom, the governor's director of communications, downplayed the significance of the talks between Washington and the governor's office, but he described it as contact on "about a semidaily basis."
Fehrnstrom said the national Republicans, whom he would not name, were in contact with Romney's chief of staff, Beth Myers, and her deputy, Peter G. Flaherty to keep tabs on the debate and other developments, the outcome of which will have implications for the presidential campaign.
Fehrnstrom said no one from the Bush White House or the Republican National Committee has talked directly to Romney.
In recent days, the governor has become more aggressively and personally involved in the emotionally charged issue, taking a high-profile role and intimating that he would seek legal avenues to block issuance of gay marriage licenses. Local and national political observers had speculated that Romney was coordinating his activities with the White House, the Bush campaign, and the Republican National Committee. Nationally, the GOP, sensing an opening to attack Democratic front-runner Senator John F. Kerry, has also become more vocal in opposition, with its operatives indicating that the gay marriage debate can be used to paint Massachusetts as out of step with the rest of the country.
Fehrnstrom insisted that Romney's decision to inject himself into the debate, although he has no formal role in a constitutional convention, has nothing to do with presidential politics and everything to do with Romney's feeling that he should be involved in such a momentous debate. Last night, Romney continued to play a role in the negotiations, sending word through GOP lawmakers that he opposed any form of civil unions for gay couples.
"I can't imagine the governor sitting on the sidelines while one of the most important debates in recent history is taking place," Fehrnstrom said.
Romney has consistently opposed gay marriage and has said in the past that he also opposes civil unions, although Fehrnstrom indicated yesterday that the governor would not close the door on some system that provided the protections and benefits Romney has supported in the past. The governor has never fully spelled out what those rights would be, but he has mentioned hospital visitations, survivor benefits, and joint health care.
The first signs of Romney's heightened profile in the controversy surrounding gay marriage came with a column he wrote that appeared last week in the Wall Street Journal. The column, which advised other states how to deal with the hot-button issue, appeared a day after the Supreme Judicial Court reaffirmed its Nov. 18 ruling clearing the way for gay marriage in Massachusetts.
Since then, he has kept up the beat, almost on a daily basis.
With the SJC ruling legalizing gay marriage set to take effect on May 17, Romney has indicated he will try to block the issuance of marriage licenses, but has never offered details on how he would circumvent the ruling. Romney and other gay marriage opponents could seek a stay from the SJC or a federal court, pleading that legal chaos will result if same-sex marriages take place and voters ultimately reject the court ruling through a constitutional amendment.
Until the issue of gay marriage rose to the top of the agenda on Beacon Hill, Romney had a reputation as a hands-off governor who rarely became involved in direct negotiations with legislators. But this past week, he has pressured Republican legislators to rally behind House Speaker Thomas M. Finneran's proposal to ban gay marriage without authorizing civil unions. Romney's support for Finneran's amendment failed to win approval for the measure on Wednesday.
In his lobbying, the governor has seriously strained his relationship with his close ally, Senate minority leader Brian P. Lees of Longmeadow. Romney and his aides have raised the heat on Lees and his five colleagues in the Senate to follow the administration's stance on gay marriage. Lees has bridled at the pressure and has cut off communications with Romney, several GOP sources said yesterday.
State GOP chairman Darrell Crate was at the State House on Wednesday just as the debate was at its most intense. Crate met with Romney and then lobbied GOP lawmakers, asking them to line up behind Finneran's amendment.
One GOP legislator said Crate had invoked the interests of the White House in urging him to line up behind Finneran's proposal.
The GOP chairman declined to comment. "I feel like I would be violating confidences with legislators, whom I spoke to directly," he said.
Crate said no one from the national Republican Party or the White House had given him instructions. "There's no coordination with the folks in the White House," he said. "I don't speak for them."
ASHCROFT DETAINS JANET JACKSON’S RIGHT BOOBHalf of Singer's Rack in US Custody Just hours after singer Janet Jackson shocked the world by exposing her right boob at the conclusion of Sunday’s Super Bowl halftime show, Attorney General John Ashcroft ordered the offending boob detained “indefinitely,” Mr. Ashcroft confirmed today. “Janet Jackson’s right boob has been taken into custody and sent to Guantanamo Bay for questioning,” Mr. Ashcroft told reporters in a Washington briefing. “We’d very much like to know what the boob knew and when it knew it.” Ms. Jackson’s right boob was detained under a little-known provision of the Patriot Act which enables the government to detain celebrity body parts that make surprise, naked appearances at nationally televised sporting events. Under that provision, Mr. Ashcroft explained, Ms. Jackson’s right boob will not have access to a lawyer and could face a military tribunal at some point in the future. When asked about Ms. Jackson’s left boob, Mr. Ashcroft said that it is not a suspect at this time but that it remains “a boob of interest.” “We would like to know if the left boob knew what the right boob was planning to do,” Mr. Ashcroft said. “It strains credulity to imagine that the right boob acted alone.” Elsewhere, experts around the world confirmed that moments after Ms. Jackson’s right boob fell out of its housing, Western civilization fell as well. Dr. Milton Campeaux of the University of Minnesota said that experts were “surprised” that Ms. Jackson caused Western civilization’s long-awaited collapse. “We all expected a Jackson to do it, but not Janet,” he said.
The Village Voice: Features: Sleeping With the GOP by Wayne Barrett with special reporting by Adam Hutton and Christine Lagorio: "Roger Stone, the longtime Republican dirty-tricks operative who led the mob that shut down the Miami-Dade County recount and helped make George W. Bush president in 2000, is financing, staffing, and orchestrating the presidential campaign of Reverend Al Sharpton.
Though Stone and Sharpton have tried to reduce their alliance to a curiosity, suggesting that all they do is talk occasionally, a Voice investigation has documented an extraordinary array of connections. Stone played a pivotal role in putting together Sharpton's pending application for federal matching funds, getting dollars in critical states from family members and political allies at odds with everything Sharpton represents. He's also helped stack the campaign with a half-dozen incongruous top aides who've worked for him in prior campaigns. He's even boasted about engineering six-figure loans to Sharpton's National Action Network (NAN) and allowing Sharpton to use his credit card to cover thousands in NAN costs?neither of which he could legally do for the campaign. In a wide-ranging Voice interview Sunday, Stone confirmed his matching-fund and staffing roles, but refused to comment on the NAN subsidies. "
Salon.com Arts & Entertainment | The Fix
Even as studies show that Americans are heavier than ever, a new wave of reality TV shows have taken to making fun of fat people. Most conspicuous is Fox's "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance," which places a thin, attractive woman in a phony engagement with a large, ill-behaved man whose main goal is to disgust pretty much everyone around him -- and, of course, viewers as well.
Last season's "Average Joe" and this season's "Average Joe: Hawaii," while purportedly championing the cause of the normal guy, also generate tension and controversy by pairing a few large, out-of-shape men with a model-type woman. The implicit message: Can these slobs possibly live up to the standards of a beautiful person? The answer so far: no. (In fact, TV viewers watched the very big Sean sent packing Monday night from "Average Joe: Hawaii.")
Salon called up Sandie Sabo-Russo, spokesperson for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, a 34-year-old fat people's rights group with more than 5,000 members in chapters across the United States and Europe. While NAAFA tries to have a sense of humor about the media -- its hall of fame includes John Candy, Chris Farley and Miss Piggy -- it takes the cause of "ending discrimination against fat people" seriously. It even has a "Fat Activist Task Force" that uses letter-writing campaigns to protest what it feels are unfair portrayals of fat people in the media.
What do you think of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance?"
I think that's a really obnoxious title. If you change that word "fat" to any other oppressed minority -- to "My Big Black Obnoxious Fiance," or "My Big Gay Obnoxious Fiance," or anything -- you'd have a lot of groups that would be going, "Well, wait a minute ..." They've wrapped all these negative stereotypes into this one guy who's fat, [saying] because he's fat, he's obnoxious, and he's sloppy and he's smelly -- which is not true about us.
When the word "fat" is used as a negative, it becomes a term to hurt people, just like when people use the "n word" against blacks. That's one of the reasons why we use the word "fat" -- it means we've taken it back. I'm fat. It is the appropriate adjective for my body.
What about "Average Joe"?
Matter of fact, I watch it all the time. [Laughs.] I have a few of my favorite reality shows. I love "Survivor," and I watch the "Bachelorette" ... she's so cute. She's so pretty.
Why do you like "Average Joe"?
I was curious. I watched the first time and I was so pulling for Adam -- you know, the average guy when she got down to the one last average guy and one non-average guy. Adam was charming, he was a nice guy, he was rich -- what an idiot [she was]! I can't believe she passed this guy up! But it's her prerogative ... I don't berate someone for being more attracted to a thin person than a fat person.
From television's point of view, if they're just trying to get more people to watch, doesn't it make more sense for them to focus more on thin beautiful people than fat people?
Who are they to decide what's attractive and not attractive? I think extreme body builders with all the ripples -- oh yuck, it gives me the creeps. It's like fingernails on a blackboard. I see that when I'm flipping the channels and I switch that stuff off. That's the way I look at it -- gee, you don't have to look at it if you don't like it. But there has to be that broad spectrum of reality. Because there's many people who think rounded women are attractive.
It's not just about whether people think we're beautiful or not. Most thinner people treat fat people as if there's something morally wrong with us.
What did you think about the stunt in the first "Average Joe," when the thin woman put the fat suit on [to trick the contestants into saying nasty things about her]?
I think it stunk. We don't like it for all the same reasons that black people don't like it when white people put black face on and pretend to be black. It's demeaning and disrespectful.
Do you think the guy from "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance" could ever make it to NAAFA's hall of fame?
I don't think so. He's probably thrilled to get a gig, and to some extent I don't blame him. I'm sure he's probably a nice guy in real life. But we'll never know, because all we'll think of him as is the fat obnoxious guy.
Salon.com Technology | Ask the pilot: "Those who miss the thrill of Kai Tak still have some options. Spotters and gawkers can visit Maho Beach, for one, on the island of St. Maarten (St. Martin when speaking of its French half) in the Dutch Antilles. Here, along this otherwise small and unattractive oceanfront, the threshold of Princess Juliana International Airport's single runway extends nearly to the tide line. Judging from these pictures, which are not retouched in any way, you'd be advised to hit the sand to keep clear of jet blast and the swirling vortices from a 747's wingtip. The beach is posted with signs warning swimmers and sunbathers of these very hazards."
Razzies.com - Home of the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation
24th Annual
Golden Raspberry (RAZZIE®) Award Nominations
WORST
PICTURE
CAT-IN-THE HAT (Universal/Dreamworks/Imagine)
CHARLIE'S
ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE (Columbia)
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (20th Century-Fox)
GIGLI
(Columbia/Revolution)
THE REAL
CANCUN (New Line)
WORST
ACTOR
Ben Affleck / DAREDEVIL, GIGLI and PAYCHECK
Cuba Gooding,
Jr. / BOAT TRIP, FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS and RADIO
Justin Guarini / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Ashton Kutcher / CHEAPER by the DOZEN, JUST MARRIED and
MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER
Mike Myers
/ THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
WORST
ACTRESS
Drew Barrymore / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE and DUPLEX
Cameron Diaz / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
Kelly Clarkson / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Angelina
Jolie / BEYOND BORDERS
and LARA
CROFT TOMB RAIDER: THE CRADLE of LIFE
Jennifer
Lopez / GIGLI
WORST
SUPPORTING ACTOR
Anthony Anderson / KANGAROO JACK
Alec Baldwin / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
Al Pacino / GIGLI
Sylvester
Stallone (Whose 5 Roles Could Fill This ENTIRE Category!)
SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER
Christopher Walken / GIGLI and KANGAROO JACK
WORST
SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Lanie Kazan / GIGLI
Demi Moore / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
Kelly Preston / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
Brittany
Murphy / JUST MARRIED
Tara Reid
/ MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER
WORST
SCREEN COUPLE
Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez / GIGLI
Eric Christian Olsen & Derek Richardson / DUMB AND DUMBERER
Justin Guarini & Kelly Clarkson / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Ashton Kutcher & EITHER Brittany Murphy (JUST MARRIED)
 or Tara Reid
(MY BOSS's DAUGHTER)
Mike Myers & EITHER Thing One OR Thing Two / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
WORST
EXCUSE for an ACTUAL MOVIE (All Concept/No Content!)
(New Category)
2 FAST,
2 FURIOUS
CHARLIE'S
ANGLES: FULL THROTTLE
THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
FROM JUSTIN
TO KELLY
THE REAL
CANCUN
WORST
REMAKE or SEQUEL
2
FAST, 2 FURIOUS
CHARLIE'S
ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
DUMB &
DUMBERER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (Remake of WHERE THE BOYS ARE ‘60
and WHERE THE BOYS ARE ‘84)
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
WORST
DIRECTOR
Martin Brest / GIGLI
Robert Iscove / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Mort Nathan / BOAT TRIP
The Wachowski
Brothers / Both MATRIX Sequels
Bo Welch
/ THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
WORST
SCREENPLAY
THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT, Screenplay by Alec Berg, David
Mandel and Jeff Schaffer
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE, Screenplay by John August and
Cormac &
Marianne Wibberley, “Story” by August
DUMB AND DUMBERER, Screenplay by Robert Brener and Troy Miller,
“Story” by Brener
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, Written by Kim Fuller
GIGLI, Written by Martin Brest
NOMINATIONS
PER PICTURE:
GIGLI
– 9
CAT-IN-THE-HAT
– 8
FROM JUSTIN
TO KELLY – 8
CHARLIE'S
ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE - 7
BOAT TRIP, DUMB & DUMBERER, JUST MARRIED, MY BOSS’S
DAUGHTER
and THE
REAL CANCUN – - 2 Each
The Village Voice: Nation: Mondo Washington: Operation Desert Guard by James Ridgeway: "The moral dictates of the Christian right are nothing compared with the concerns of the protectors of public morality in the press corps. Ever vigilant in our behalf, they recently condemned Michael Jackson (Who needs a trial with the people's advocate Nancy Grace and CNN judge Larry King on the job?). But even Jackson didn't have the audacity to say what Michael Moore said?that the president of the United States is a deserter. Yes, indeed. He said that. Not only did Moore say it, but he said it in public on a stage in the midst of a political campaign. In the midst of a war, no less. The press corps blushed in shame for all of us and promptly condemned Moore as an ignorant fool who ought to stick with his disgusting comedy shows.
Fortunately for us, Michael Moore is crazy like a fox. By calling Bush a 'deserter,' he got the big-time journalists?horrified David Broder, incredulous Peter Jennings, outraged Robert Novak, nonplussed Tim Russert?to openly raise the deserter issue before millions. It is now a political topic once again. As the journalists damn Moore, the populace is once again wondering, well, maybe Bush is a deserter after all. And the idea of a deserter running this war makes it even more sick than it already is. Consider that this weekend warrior is already responsible for the following toll in Iraq: 513 GIs sent to their death; 8,000 medevacked out of Iraq; 2,919 wounded (missing arms or legs, or blinded, or psycho); and at least 22 GI suicides. God only knows how many Iraqi men, women, and children. And when it was his turn to fight for his country, Bush booked. "
Dean delivers top 10 list on Letterman Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean turned to late-night comedy Thursday to poke fun at his arm-waving outburst in Iowa that has proven politically damaging. Dean taped an appearance on "Late Night with David Letterman" in which he presented the Top 10 list. The last Democrat to deliver the list was Rep. Dick Gephardt of Missouri on Jan. 12. After a poor showing in Iowa Monday, Gephardt abandoned his presidential bid.
The subject of Dean's list was "Ways, I, Howard Dean, can turn things around."
10. Switch to decaf.
9. Unveil new slogan, "Vote for Dean and get one dollar off your next purchase at Blimpie."
8. Marry Rachel on the final episode of "Friends."
7. Don't change a thing, it's going great.
6. Show a little more skin.
5. Go on "American Idol" and give them a taste of those pipes.
4. Start working out and speaking with an Austrian accent.
3. I can't give specifics yet, but it involves Ted Danson.
2. Fire the staffer who suggested I do this lousy Top 10 List instead of actually campaigning.
1. Oh, I don't know -- maybe fewer, crazy, red-faced rants.
The TRUE Stella Awards -- 2003 Winners
by Randy Cassingham
Issued 21 January 2003
Unlike the FAKE cases that have been highly circulated online for the
last several years (see http://www.StellaAwards.com/bogus.html for
details), the following cases have been researched from public sources
and are confirmed TRUE by the ONLY legitimate source for the Stella
Awards: www.StellaAwards.com . To confirm this copy is legitimate, see
http://www.StellaAwards.com/2003.html
-v-
THE RUNNERS UP FOR THE 2003 TRUE STELLA AWARDS ARE:
#8: Stephen Joseph of San Francisco, Calif. Joseph runs a non-profit
group whose goal is to ban the "trans fats" used in many processed
foods and which are indeed very unhealthy. But to help gain publicity
for his cause, Joseph, an attorney, chose one food that uses trans
fats -- Oreo cookies -- and sued Kraft Foods for putting the stuff in
the snack. The resulting publicity over "suing Oreos" was so intense
that Joseph dropped the suit after just 13 days. He never even served
the suit on Kraft, showing that he had no interest in actually getting
the case heard in court. What real cases got pushed aside during his
abuse of the courts to get publicity for his pet organization?
#7: Shawn Perkins of Laurel, Ind. Perkins was hit by lightning in the
parking lot Paramount's Kings Island amusement park in Mason, Ohio. A
classic "act of God", right? No, says Perkins' lawyer. "That would be
a lot of people's knee-jerk reaction in these types of situations."
The lawyer has filed suit against the amusement park asking
unspecified damages, arguing the park should have "warned" people not
to be outside during a thunderstorm.
#6: Caesar Barber, 56, of New York City. Barber, who is 5-foot-10 and 270
pounds, says he is obese, diabetic, and suffers from heart disease
because fast food restaurants forced him to eat their fatty food four
to five times per week. He filed suit against McDonald's, Burger King,
Wendy's and KFC, who "profited enormously" and asked for unspecified
damages because the eateries didn't warn him that junk food isn't good
for him. The judge threw the case out twice, and barred it from being
filed a third time. Is that the end of such McCases? No way: lawyers
will just find another plaintiff and start over, legal scholars say.
#5: Cole Bartiromo, 18, of Mission Viejo, Calif. After making over $1
million in the stock market, the feds made Bartiromo pay it all back:
he gained his profits, they said, using fraud. Bartiromo played
baseball at school, but after his fraud case broke he was no longer
allowed to participate in extracurricular sports. Bartiromo clearly
learned a lot while sitting in federal court: he wrote and filed his
own lawsuit against his high school, reasoning that he had planned on
a pro baseball career but, because he was kicked off the school's
team, pro scouts wouldn't be able to discover him. His suit demands
the school reimburse him for the great salary he would have made in
the majors, which he figures is $50 million.
#4: Priest David Hanser, 70. Hanser was one of the first Catholic priests
to be caught up in the sex abuse scandal. In 1990, he settled a suit
filed by one of his victims for $65,000. In the settlement, Hanser
agreed not to work with children anymore, but the victim learned that
Hanser was ignoring that part of the agreement. The victim appealed to
the church, asking it to stop Hanser from working near children, but
the church would not intervene. "It's up to the church to decide where
he works," argued the priest's lawyer. When the outraged victim went
to the press to warn the public that a pedo priest was near children,
Hanser sued him for the same $65,000 because he violated his own part
of the deal -- to keep the settlement secret. The message is clear:
shut up about outrageous abuse, or we'll sue you for catching us.
#3: Wanda Hudson, 44, of Mobile, Ala. After Hudson lost her home to
foreclosure, she moved her belongings to a storage unit. She says she
was inside her unit one night "looking for some papers" when the
storage yard manager found the door to her unit ajar -- and locked it.
She denies that she was sleeping inside, but incredibly did not call
for help or bang on the door to be let out! She was not found for 63
days and barely survived; the formerly "plump" 150-pound woman lived
on food she just happened to have in the unit, and was a mere 83
pounds when she was found. She sued the storage yard for $10 million
claiming negligence. Even though the jury was not allowed to learn
that Hudson had previously diagnosed mental problems, it found Hudson
was nearly 100 percent responsible for her own predicament -- but
still awarded her $100,000.
#2: Doug Baker, 45, of Portland, Ore. Baker says God "steered" him to a
stray dog. He admits "People thought I was crazy" to spend $4,000 in
vet bills to bring the injured mutt back to health, but hey, it was
God's dog! But $4,000 was nothing: he couldn't even take his
girlfriend out to dinner without getting a dog-sitter to watch him.
When the skittish dog escaped the sitter, Baker didn't just put an ad
in the paper, he bought display ads so he could include a photo. His
business collapsed since he devoted full time to the search for the
dog. He didn't propose to his girlfriend because he wanted the dog to
deliver the ring to her. He hired four "animal psychics" to give him
clues to the animal's whereabouts, and hired a witch to cast spells.
He even spread his own urine around to "mark his territory" to try to
lure the dog home! And, he said, he cried every day. Two months in to
the search, he went looking for the dog where it got lost -- and
quickly found it. His first task: he put a collar on the mutt. (He
hadn't done that before for a dog that was so "valuable"?!) After
finding the dog, he sued the dog sitter, demanding $20,000 for the
cost of his search, $30,000 for the income he lost by letting his
business collapse, $10,000 for "the temporary loss of the special
value" of the dog, and $100,000 in "emotional damages" -- $160,000
total. God has not been named as a defendant.
AND THE WINNER of the 2003 True Stella Awards: The City of Madera, Calif.
Madera police officer Marcy Noriega had the suspect from a minor
disturbance handcuffed in the back of her patrol car. When the suspect
started to kick at the car's windows, Officer Noriega decided to
subdue him with her Taser. Incredibly, instead of pulling her stun gun
from her belt, she pulled her service sidearm and shot the man in the
chest, killing him instantly. The city, however, says the killing is
not the officer's fault; it argues that "any reasonable police
officer" could "mistakenly draw and fire a handgun instead of the
Taser device" and has filed suit against Taser, arguing the company
should pay for any award from the wrongful death lawsuit the man's
family has filed. What a slur against every professionally trained
police officer who knows the difference between a real gun and a stun
gun! And what a cowardly attempt to escape responsibility for the
actions of its own under-trained officer.
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The Village Voice: Nation: Mondo Washington: Warnings During Wartime by James Ridgeway: "One thing we learned from the Taliban is how to get rid of drugs through harsh penalties for anyone breaking the law. In recent days articles have trumpeted the success of the Taliban's drug program, the only one in the world that has actually worked. As for all those promiscuous girls (and some boys, too) out there, let them practice abstinence as a way to fight STDs and drugs, which a growing chorus of get-tough lawmakers, even some right-wingers who fear rising prison costs may raise their taxes, say don't work. Let's reward schools that follow the Taliban-style enforcement program with a $23 million federal drug-testing program under the heading of 'a tool to save children's lives' against sexually transmitted diseases. The government will give them a heftier federal handout if they coerce their students into taking drug tests. "
Reuters | Latest Financial News / Full News Coverage: "Mel Gibson's controversial new film, 'The Passion of Christ,' which at first had a hard time finding a distributor, will be independently released on about 2,000 screens in the United States next month, a Gibson spokesman said on Wednesday."
Salon.com | America's final wakeup call: "America's final wakeup call
Former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill's damning book may finally clue Americans in to the deadly consequences of being governed by a disengaged dolt in the hands of a fanatical cabal."
Belief-O-Matic -- A personality quiz about your religious beliefs and spiritual beliefs - a quiz answering What Religion Am I -- Beliefnet.com: "Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic? knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic? will tell you what religion (if any) you practice...or ought to consider practicing. "
Salon.com Technology | No safety net for programmers: "When manufacturing jobs go overseas, laid-off workers are eligible for a host of benefits. But if you're one of the tens of thousands of software producers whose jobs have been outsourced, you're out of luck."
Salon.com | Dean, Bobby and the ghost of landslides past
Of course Dean is angry. Take a look at what's happening in Iraq, with another 236 American soldiers killed or wounded since Saddam was dragged out of his spider hole. And take a look closer to home, where we have 12 million children living in poverty, six out of seven working poor families unable to afford quality child care, record levels of personal debt, and more and more U.S. jobs being "outsourced" overseas. If you still have a pulse -- are you listening, Joe Lieberman? -- you should be royally pissed.
The Village Voice: Nation: Mondo Washington: Dean Calls 9-11 by James Ridgeway: "WASHINGTON—Setting aside Sunday's puerile attacks on Howard Dean by a desperate John Kerry and the by now embarrassing Joe Lieberman, the so-called Iowa debate briefly touched on the true bottom-line issue of the coming election: the extent of the U.S. government's foreknowledge of 9-11. "
Salon.com | God to America: Don't reelect Bush!: "Pat Robertson says that God is calling a Bush blowout. My own pipeline to the Almighty says it's not a prediction, it's a warning."
The Village Voice: Nation: Mondo Washington: The Martial Plan by James RidgewayWASHINGTON—Every day the U.S. looks more like a police state.
An internal Justice Department probe, based on surveillance videos made by the government inside federal detention facilities, shows that the U.S. harassed, beat, and kept in solitary confinement without access to family or lawyers men it picked up off the streets of New York after 9-11. More likely than not, these men were seized on grounds that some cop or FBI agent thought they looked like Osama followers. Or that a business partner or neighbor decided he could get the man's money or property by charging him first with theft and then telling the cops, "Oh, by the way, I think the guy is Al Qaeda," a claim that one magistrate after another accepted as the reason to set bails so high no one but a millionaire could pay to get out.
And this doesn't even scratch the surface of what's been going on. Lawyers were not told the numbers of courtrooms to where their clients were being shuttled because the room locations were secret. Members of Congress, government, the press, and the judiciary knew from the very get-go that any FBI agent, acting on his or her own, could make an affidavit asserting that any individual was a suspected terrorist.
Every day, Ashcroft and Bush work the country toward something like martial law, though the administration has suffered setbacks, like last week's rulings by two federal appellate courts in Padilla v. Rumsfeld and Gherebi v. Bush. Both of those decisions, for now at least, hamper the government's ability to simply lock up suspects indefinitely.
But the government has other targets and other ways of dealing with them. The most recent crackdown seems to be on the foreign press—the source of much of the substantial critique of its policies.
U.S. immigration authorities are detaining foreign correspondents on grounds they have not obtained special visas permitting them to operate here, reports the Associated Press. True, there is a law stipulating a special visa for journalists, but few have ever heard of it and it is seldom enforced. No more. No one ever told the visiting journalists it had suddenly been revived. As a result, immigration officials aren't allowing reporters from abroad to come in under ordinary 90-day tourist visa waivers.
Peter Krobath, chief editor for the Austrian movie magazine Skip, was seized and held overnight in a cold room with 45 others who landed without visas. Is he an Osama follower? A disguised fedayeen from Saddam's clan? No. He is guilty of flying to the U.S. to interview Ben Affleck.
Thomas Sjoerup, a photographer for the Danish paper Ekstra Bladet, had to give the American authorities fingerprints, a mug shot, and a DNA sample, and he was promptly sent back home anyway.
Six French journalists were marched across a terminal at Los Angeles International Airport in handcuffs, having had their belts and shoelaces removed. The International Press Institute, based in Vienna, along with the International Federation of Journalists, headquartered in Brussels, is protesting this treatment.
The U.S. response? An embassy official in Vienna insisted that the government was only acting in accordance with the letter of the law.
Spell this word
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello, How are you ! We've been waiting for you ! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in ?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been ?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion And, my wife and I travelled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer. How do I get in ?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word ?" her husband asked
"Czechoslovakia."
Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry ... there'll be Hell to pay later.
Man says he gave wife toilet seat as gift - - - - - - - - - - - - Dec. 23, 2003 | LONGMONT, Colo. (AP) -- Gary and Karri Clark haven't forgotten their second Christmas together. He knew she wanted bathroom accessories, so he wrapped up a couple of gifts and waited. The toilet seat and towel rack didn't go over too well. "Here I thought I was doing good," he recalled with a laugh. "It was something she can always use, day after day. It's the gift that keeps on giving." The Clarks were among those who responded to requests by the Daily Times-Call newspaper to share their stories about bungled gifts and best intentions -- the waffle makers, blenders and vacuum cleaners given with love and practicality in mind that will never be forgotten or forgiven. Karri Clark admits she wanted a new toilet seat a decade ago because there was a crack in the old one. She just didn't think she'd get one gift wrapped. "I could not believe it," she said. "What man gives you a toilet seat for Christmas?" Stan Stanley said he learned his lesson about practical gifts in the early 1980s after presenting his wife with a garage door opener one Christmas. There was no entrance from the garage into the house, a source of irritation for Connie Stanley. "I was so excited about opening it. I had no idea what it was," she said. After 57 years of marriage, she said, she has to forgive Stan when he makes a mistake like that. Tom Tinkle remembers giving his wife a birthday blender and how she did a wonderful job of oohing and aahing before setting the box aside. When she finally took the blender out of the box, she discovered a sapphire bracelet slipped inside. "It was a surprise for her and possibly made her rethink her opinions of her doofus husband giving her a bonehead blender for a gift," Tinkle said. Gary Clark admits his bathroom gifts were out of desperation: It was Christmas Eve, he was at Kmart and he couldn't think of what to buy his wife. "She wanted it, but not for Christmas," he said. Since then, he's done better: His wife received a Ford Explorer for her birthday this year.
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
The retailer that stole XMAS
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Saturday, December 20, 2003 N ORTH POLE -- Troubled toy maker Santa Claus Inc., (NYSE: XMAS) (this week) announced that had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, the latest victim of the retailing juggernaut that is Wal-Mart Inc. Santa N. Claus, XMAS chairman and CEO, said his 2,000-year-old firm would lay off 2,500 workers at its North Pole toy factory. Claus said manufacturing would be shifted to factories in China and Korea. Claus also announced the liquidation of "certain livestock assets," specifically, eight tiny reindeer working in XMAS' delivery operations. "We can't afford on-time delivery any more," Claus said bitterly, "not when Wal-Mart has people coming to 4,300 stores around the world to pick the stuff up for themselves." The action by XMAS follows the announcement last week that the upscale FAO Schwarz toy company had sought bankruptcy protection. In November, Toys "R" Us, the $11 billion toy chain, announced a $38 million third-quarter loss, closed 182 stores and laid off 3,000 workers. Over the past year, FAO Schwarz has closed its Zany Brainy stores, and Toys "R" Us has closed 146 Kids "R" Us clothing stores and its Imaginarium toy stores. Toys "R" Us shares have dropped 73 percent to around $11.75 in the past decade. Not coincidentally, in the past decade Wal-Mart has more than doubled its share of the nation's annual $25 billion toy business. Nearly one in every four dollars spent on toys in the United States goes to Wal-Mart. Claus explained, "Take your Hokey Pokey Elmo, the `it' toy for this year. Wal-Mart is selling Hokey Pokey Elmo at $19.46. That's 30 percent under list and about what it costs me to make it. They sell toys at low margin and make it up on volume. Plus they use toys as loss leaders, getting people into their stores and selling them other stuff while they're there. I don't sell tires and groceries and besides, the delivery costs would kill me. Man doesn't live on milk and cookies alone, you know." Economists predicted that competing with Wal-Mart would make Claus' operation more efficient. "Wal-Mart is the greatest thing that ever happened to low-income Americans," W. Michael Cox, chief economist of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas, told The New York Times. "They can stretch their dollars and afford things they otherwise couldn't." Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Ark., a company spokesman said the firm would soon debut "Sammy Claus," a Christmas mascot modeled on the company's late founder, Sam Walton. "Sammy Claus and his trusty bird dog, Roy, will fly through the air in a magic bass boat pulled by an old pickup truck," the spokesman said. "Sammy Claus will wear a blue vest, and instead of `Ho, ho, ho,' he'll be saying, `Low, low, low."' Informed that Sammy Claus would soon be coming to town, Santa Claus was philosophical. "I guess I can get a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart."
Salon.com News | "This is not America": "Afterward, many observers said the same thing: 'This is not America.' Civil libertarians, though, worry that -- in an era when legitimate homeland security fears have begun to edge over into hysterical paranoia about 'anarchists' -- it might offer a glimpse of where America's response to protest is headed. "
 Cruisin' for a Bruisin' December 9, 2003: "The plan by House Majority Leader, Tom 'the Hammer' DeLay, to quarantine Republican politicians, donors, and delegates on a cruise ship in the Hudson during next year?s Republican National Convention has been sunk. But for Bush opponents, there sure is a lot of blood in the water. With Democrats hooting and howling, and many fellow Republicans quietly wincing, DeLay caved, but only after letting the controversy play out for a while, so determined was he to have his colleagues stay docked off Manhattan Island. The dramatic debacle revealed that the Republicans?including Tough Guy DeLay?are wimps of the first order, scared to death of mingling among the Clinton-loving, sodomite-friendly masses. "
Microsoft fires worker over weblog: "As the weblogging phenomenon has taken off, there have been isolated incidents around the country in which companies fired employees for posting in their personal weblogs work-related material that executives consider compromising or inappropriate. But Hanscom appears to be the first person let go for that reason from Microsoft, where an ever increasing number of employee webloggers regularly post work-related material."
Dry: A Memoir
by Augusten Burroughs
One of the best books I have read in years. Highly recommend.
“I was addicted to “Bewitched” as a kid. I worshipped Darren Stevens the First. When he’d come home from work and Samantha would say, ‘Darren, would you like me to fix you a drink?’ He’d always rest his briefcase on the table below the mirror in the foyer, wipe his forehead with a monogrammed handkerchief and say, ‘Better make it a double.’” (from Chapter Two)
New York Daily News - Daily Dish & Gossip - Rush & Molloy: Tasteless gags Maher a Hillary tribute: "'Queer Eye' guy Carson Kressley asks Cher in Us Weekly who she'd most like to have as a co-joined twin. Attorney General John Ashcroft, she says. 'So I could influence him a bit - or just beat the s-- out of him.' Kresley notes that Cher doesn't seem to be a Republican, 'Are you kidding me?' she says. 'I'd rather stick needles in my eyes' ..."
New York Post Online Edition: news: "December 6, 2003 -- Struggling 2004 Democratic wannabe John Kerry fires an X-rated attack at President Bush over Iraq and uses the f-word - highly unusual language for a presidential contender - in a stunning new interview with Rolling Stone magazine. "
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today
- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you?re a conservative radio host. Then it?s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
- The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
- Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
- ?Standing Tall for America? means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
- A woman can?t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
- Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
- The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans? benefits and combat pay.
- Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won?t have sex.
- A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
- HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
- Global warming and tobacco?s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
- Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush?s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a ?we can?t find Bin Laden? diversion.
- A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
- Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
- The public has a right to know about Hillary?s cattle trades, but George Bush?s driving record is none of our business.
- You support states? rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
- What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ?80s is irrelevant.
- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage? suitable for use as a mixer.? It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.?? Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink".?? Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: "MOUNT & DO."
Light BulbTwo bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to be able to take flex. But there had to be a way........ One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. "I know how to get some time off work," the man whispered. "How?" hissed the blonde at the next workstation. Instead of answering, the man quickly looked around. No sign of his Director. He jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself up. "Look!" he hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down. Within seconds, the Director emerged from the Branch Head's office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing. "I'm a light bulb," answered the public servant. "I think you need some time off," barked the Director. "Get out of here -that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?" "Yes sir," the public servant answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left. The blonde was hot on his heels. "Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked. "Home," she said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."
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Very interesting article. Scares me though.
The Village Voice: Nation: Mondo Washington: The Meaning of Clarke by James Ridgeway: "WASHINGTON, D.C. - It's not just because Richard Clarke turned on Bush that conservatives detest him. They especially despise him because Clarke is a career federal civil servant, a species the right-wingers loathe above all. Clarke has served on the National Security Council staffs of Bush, father and son, along with Clinton. He began federal service in 1973 in the Defense Department as an analyst on nuclear weapons, and he served as an assistant secretary of state under both Reagan and Bush senior. "