Not for the easily offended: Rev. Grampa Simpson

Spot Award

At work today in our weekly status meeting I was surprised to be presented with what is called a 'Spot Award.' Carla, our technical writer (and anyone who reads my posts know that she earns her money) had nominated me for this award for helping her out on a project.

I was happy to receive the award and the Traveler's check. It is kind of funny, one can do all sorts of things that go above and beyond, but then get rewarded for doing something that is pretty easy.

Craig Ferguson

Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson hosted the White House Correspondents Association annual dinner Saturday night.

Rachel's Graduation - The Day After

It was kind of weird staying at Barbara's mother's house this time around since Barbara's mother had passed away a few months back. A lot of things were still the same, but a lot of other things were different, for instance, the phone and cable had been turned off.

One of the things that stayed the same is that a lot of people gathered at the house last Saturday. Barbara met with her other six siblings to divide up some of the books and the jewelry. Being of sound mind, I met up with an old friend and went out to breakfast. My friend afterwards took me around downtown to show me what was new since my last trip. The Union Pacific Depot is now part of a downtown shopping district. I explained to my friend that I had a lot of memories about the depot, since I had gone on a number of train trips as a child to Milford and points west.

I got back in time to see all of the in-laws busy at work deciding who got what. James, Emily and the boys had stayed over at the house also. Rachel drove up from Provo to spend the day with us. My brother Richard came in with my mother around noon for lunch and visiting. He helped his son and daughter-in-law move things to Idaho Falls, where of course James and Emily currently reside, and then Richard came down on the bus to visit for a couple of days. I believe he flew back up to Portland Sunday evening, after Barbara and I flew back to Austin. It was nice to visit and to show off my beautiful grandchildren.

That evening all of the Murdocks present went to dinner at the local Sizzler Steakhouse. Grandpa was pleased that the boys were on their very best behavior, and great-uncle Richard was very impressed. A good time was had by all.

Rachel stayed over on Saturday night, and the next morning before we had to go to our separate locations, Helen and Joan came over and treated us to a nice brunch. Emily was surprised to discover that one of her brothers was going to be in town, so he came over for a short visit also.

There is something about that house where people seem to connect. I am going to miss visiting there. It is fun to fantasize about Barbara and me buying the house and moving to Salt Lake City to be closer to family, but from a practical point of view it doesn't make a lot of sense. To modernize and 'John proof' the house would require a substantial amount of time, effort and money. I joked with James and told him that if we bought the house he could could come down every weekend from Idaho Falls and help us remodel. The joke is of course that I would have no clue what to do to remodel a home except write the checks to pay for someone else to do it.

Rachel's Graduation - The Trip Up

Barbara was able to get us a good deal on the airlines going up to SLC. On the trip up, we flew up on Continental Airlines from Austin to Houston to SLC. The plane from Houston was very small, two seats on one side of the aisle and then one seat on the other side. It kind of reminded me of being in an MRI. I didn't used to be so claustrophobic, but as I get older I am getting more and more so.

We have lost several pieces of luggage through the years as the luggage has gone off to college without us, and some of the pieces have fallen apart. For this trip Barbara selected an old hard sided Samsonite suitcase .

When we picked up the luggage, Barbara's piece had been smashed so badly that there is no way it could be used again. She took it over to the Continental Airlines baggage booth. The agent took one look and exchanged the battered suitcase with a brand new piece. Granted, it did not look like it could have been used as a prop in the movie Airport, but it was pretty darn nice.

Rachel's Graduation - Thanks to Russell and Sarah Jane

for watching John while we were gone. Taking John to the graduation would have been counter productive, I don't think he was going to sit quietly during the ceremony so Barbara and I were very glad that Russell and Sarah Jane agreed to move in for a few days and be there with John.

Rachel's Graduation - One very proud dad

Barbara and I got back last night from an action, fun packed four days in Utah. The main purpose of the trip was to motor down to Provo, Utah and see Rachel graduate. Not only did she graduate from the BYU law school, but she was also one of the two student speakers, and she participated in the law school choir. Her talk of course was wonderful.

Besides Barbara and myself, many friends and family came to the ceremony to honor Rachel. My niece Lucinda was kind enough to drive my mother down for the ceremony. We were joined by my son James, his lovely wife Emily, and my youngest grandson Will. My other two grandsons, Harry and Jack (ages 4 and 2) were left with some friends of James and Emily.

Barbara's two sisters Helen and Joan drove down to Provo with us from Salt Lake City. We were joined by Barbara's brother Jim and his wife Sharon, and Barbara's brother (Elder) Bill and his wife Vickie. Since Bill is a member of the First Quorum of 70, he had front row seats, so Barbara, Helen and Joan sat with him while the rest of us enjoyed the view from the balcony.

It seemed half of the audience was there to see Rachel, she has so many friends and admirers. I didn't get to see them, but there were folks who previously lived in our ward here in Austin that had moved to Utah who also came to the convocation.

There is so much to say about this trip so I will break it up into smaller posts. In closing, I just would like to say how proud I am of Rachel. She not only managed to make it through law school, she also was able to make a lot of friends and have a good time.

Stupidity

Sent to you by davidaustex via Google Reader:

Stupidity

via LiberalLand by Alan on 4/21/08

Pastor Roger Byrd of the Jonesville Church of God put this sign up outside his South Carolina Church. He says:

"His name is so close to Osama I have a feeling he might be Islamic therefore he doesn't recognize Christ."

His congregation voted to keep the sign up. None of the members are African-American.

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Anything worth doing....

I had to smile, Jack and Harry spent so much time at our house playing with marbles.

Inspirational work meeting

This was supposed to jazz us up today. It didn't.

One of my co-workers asked me how I liked the meeting, and I decided the best thing to do was to use a quote from Bambi.

Quote from George Burns

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
- George Burns

Google Maps

I have been having some fun (which is the same as saying I have been wasting time) with the new street maps feature of Google Maps.

Perhaps it is more dangerous than one would think at first.

Nebraska Technology

After having dug to a depth of 10 yards last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their New York ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 yards, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'

One week later, the 'Hemingford Ledger,' a local news paper in Hemingford, NE reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 yards in corn fields near Berea, NE, Larry the Cable Guy, a self-taught archaeologist and dyed-in-the-wool Husker fan, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Larry has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Nebraska had already gone wireless."

The Job: A little too close for comfort

Daily Affirmations

From my dad.

• I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.



• A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.



• As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.



• I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.



• Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."



• I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.



• As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.



• I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.



• I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.



• Joan of Arc heard voices too.



• When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.



• The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.



• As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.



• Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.



• Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone.



• Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?



• I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.



• I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Cruel and unusual punishment?

LAURA BRANIGAN: The Filipino prisoners are back, performing "Gloria".

Lawyer joke: When Grandma Goes To Court

I am so proud of myself, I did not forward this to everyone.

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

Even if you don't speak Dutch, this is funny

HEMA is a Dutch department store. The first store opened on November 4, 1926, in Amsterdam. Now there are 150 stores all over the Netherlands . HEMA also has stores in Belgium, Luxemburg, and Germany . In June of this year, HEMA was sold to British investment company Lion Capital.

Take a look at HEMA's product page . You can't order anything and it's in Dutch but just wait a couple of seconds and watch what happens.

Aspiring Pol Changes Name To Pro-Life

Now why didn't I think of this?

A Senate candidate has legally changed his name to Pro-Life and will appear on the ballot that way this year, state election officials say.

As Marvin Pro-Life Richardson, the organic strawberry farmer from Letha, 30 miles northwest of Boise, was denied the use of his middle name when he ran unsuccessfully for governor in 2006 because the state's policy bars the use of slogans on the ballot.

Now, though, officials in the Idaho secretary of state's office say they have no choice because Pro-Life is his full and only name.

Priceless

This is of course is why I have a blog - it keeps me from forwarding jokes to the world.

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car."