This one applies to me.
"Dear Miss Manners:
How can I, a person with a number of food allergies, politely ask what is in an appetizer, meal, dessert, etc., in social situations?
I have tried the 'Oh, it looks delicious . . . what's in it?' approach; however, this does not always work. 'Trust me, you'll love it,' says a host eagerly waiting for me to take a nibble and agree.
As an advocate of discretion on the part of guests with food restrictions, Miss Manners has to admire your subtlety. She hates to admit that there is such a thing as being too subtle, but you seem to have achieved it.
The goal is to avoid undue demands on the host as well as medical emergencies, religious and ethical transgressions and, not least, excessive talk about food. Your host could have supposed that you were acting from mere culinary curiosity, which he is not obligated to satisfy.
The succinct response to 'Trust me . . . ' should have been a pleasant but firm 'Trust me, I do need to know. I'm allergic to . . . ' Followed, if necessary, by an equally pleasantly delivered, 'You really don't want me to spoil this lovely party by your having to call the rescue squad.'"
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