Waterton Trip: Red Shirts

Continuing a family tradition, Rachel brought everyone in the family matching shirts.  James took the group shots, so I am just posting a few random 'Red Shirt' pics that I took.

Thanks again Rachel!

Visit from a behavior specialist

John's self injuring behavior has beeen escalating, so we sought the advice of a behavior specialist.  She came out to visit last Wednesday morning.

For whatever reason, John starts hitting his head precisely at 9:00 am every day.  We timed the visit so the specialist would get there about fifteen minutes beforehand.  Precisely at 9:00 am, he started hitting his head.  He and I went into some wierd performance art where I struggled to restrain him for the next forty-five minutes or so.  Once the specialist left, he calmed down.

I left for the office soon after.  When I arrived, I had numerous co-workers ask me what was wrong.  It was a very rough morning for all of us, and I guess it showed on my face.

Later that day, John had a visit to the dentist where he had his teeth cleaned and examined.  Naturally, he was very cooperative and easy to handle.


Self Injury

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

From my friend Tyg

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere..
4. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Church

Made it through another service at church today with my son John.  I thought we were going to have to leave as soon as we went into the sanctuary, John did everything he could to start hitting his head.  I was able to restrain him with one hand and cover his mouth to mute his screams with the other.  And I have the scratch marks to prove it.  He drew blood this time.

Once the service started though, John calmed down and I recalled the reason I put myself through this every week.  Though I don't get as much from the service as I probably would if I didn't have to take care of John, I get enough.

Some random thoughts.

• I don't recall anyone in my congregation ever criticizing me because I couldn't control John. 
• When I have had to take John out of the service, I have been told that I need to take him back in because he wasn't bothering anyone.
• I have never been shushed in the hallways.  That one is a big one for me, I still have nightmares from my previous congregation.
• I have had people come up to me and offered encouragement and hugs.
• For whatever reason, John is at his best during the sermon, which I am grateful for, it allows me a better chance to listen and comprehend.  
• I am amazed that the same people will sit in front of us week after week.  We try to sit out of the way so as not to disturb others.  
• John gave our pastor a hug on our way out of church today, which was nice and more than a little surprising.

In her sermon, our pastor used a desert island joke.  I found a variation of it and I am re-blogging it below.  I am glad that I found an accepting church for both me and for John.

A man is rescued after many years on a desert island. As he stands on the deck of the rescuing vessel, the captain says to him, "I thought you were stranded alone. How come I can see three huts on the beach?"

     "Well," replies the castaway, "that one there is my house and that one there is where I go to church."

     "And the third one?" asks the skipper.

     "Oh, that's the church I used to go to."

The Good Samaritan

In her sermon today spoke about the parable of the Good Samaritan.   One of the questions of course is why did the Samaritan stop when the regular clergy did not.  The other question I ask myself of course is, would I have stopped?

In the sermon,  our pastor referenced a study at the Seminary at Princeton university where students were tested to see if they would stop to offer help to someone who appeared to need help.

They varied the amount of urgency they told the subjects before sending them to the other building, and the task they would do when they got there. One task was to prepare a talk about seminary jobs, and the other about the story of the Good Samaritan. In one condition they told the subject they were late for the next task, in the other they said they had a few minutes but they should head on over anyway.

It would seem like the students who were thinking about the story of the Good Samaritan would of course be more likely to stop and help.  The results were pretty surprising.

 Check out Darley, J. M., and Batson, C.D., "From Jerusalem to Jericho": A study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior". JPSP, 1973, 27, 100-108 for the details.

Why do good things happen to bad people

That was the title of today's sermon at church.

One of the things that I had never thought about is that there are people who think that I am bad, and they are probably surprised when good things happen to me.  It got me to thinking what makes a person bad.  In no particular order, I came up the following, I am sure I could add many more entries. 

• religion
• political party
•  race
•  creed 
• color
• socioeconomic status
• sexual orientation 
• gender
• appearance
• intelligence

Head Banging

Not mine, my son John's. I noticed something pretty darn interesting a few weeks ago. For whatever reason (and I am totally open to suggestions), John has decided that he needs to hit his head at precisely 9 a.m. and 1 p.m.

For example, we were at IHOP this morning and a few moments before 9, I changed seats at the booth so I could sit right next to him. Right on schedule, he had lifted his hands to hit his head (and you have no idea how unnerving this can be to the uninitiated), but I was able to grab them in time.  At 9:01, I moved back to my side of the booth and we finished breakfast without any further incident.

My own theory? Too much Mary Poppins. There is a scene in the movie where a neighbor sets off his cannon at a given time and the entire household is involved in making sure that the shock from the cannon does not damage any of the household breakables.

Agony

Rachel is blogging about her Christmas visit and noted:

My sister-in-law Sarah Jane had an astounding realization: every time my dad leaves the house, my brother John plays the song "Agony" from Into the Woods. Every time. Apparently he even played it in the car today.

I suppose that is what I get for letting John listen to the soundtracks of Broadway musicals.  It kind of reminds of me of something I heard in meetings,  "alcoholics don't make friends, they take hostages."

Mouse To Mouse Resuscitation

Mouse To Mouse Resuscitation: "

(Pet Store | WY, USA)

(An irate customer comes flying through the door and slams a soaking wet, dead hamster on the counter. I recognize her as a woman I had sold a hamster to an hour ago.)

Me: “Oh my goodness what happened?!”

Customer: “I took this hamster home and he didn’t even live 10 minutes!”

Me: “Why is he all wet?”

Customer: “From being in the aquarium! He swam for awhile, but then he just dropped dead!

Me: “I’m sorry, are you telling me you put him in an aquarium full of water?”

Customer: “You told me hamsters can live in aquariums! You said I didn’t need to buy a cage specifically for hamsters!”

Me: “Hamsters can live in an aquarium, but not in water! When you were picking him out didn’t you notice the others are in empty aquariums with bedding?”

Customer: “You told me he could live in an aquarium! I demand a new hamster! One that is alive!”

Me: “I really don’t think any of our animals are going to work out for you.”

"

Oh Call Him At Home, Where The Phone Charges Roam

Oh Call Him At Home, Where The Phone Charges Roam: "

(Call Center | Victoria, BC, Canada)

(A customer calls in to report his cellphone as stolen 3 weeks earlier while he was on vacation in Vietnam. He had just received a bill for a few thousand dollars for international usage. I asked if I could put him on hold while I checked into his problem. I used the time to confirm the billed calls from Vietnam were to numbers from previous bills; numbers he called all the time. I looked up his to see where the phone was currently registering and was unsurprised to find it registered to a US cell tower. I decided to call it.)

Me: “Hello sir, this is [name] from [service provider]. We were just having a conversation about this phone being lost on your other line. You do realize that what you are attempting to do is fraud? Given the amount of money involved it would be considered a felony.”

Customer Cell Phone: *click*

Landline: *click*

(I dialed into his voicemail and left a very detailed message about prompt payment and made copious notes on the account. The account was paid in full and on time.)

"

Comparisons

Years ago I heard someone say "I was always comparing my insides to someone else's outsides."

I have a corollary to that now which is that one should never compare one's life to another person's Christmas newsletter.  I got a call from someone who said that he had hesitated to call before because he didn't think that he was as successful as I was.  Naturally, I didn't think that I had it together as well as he did either.

Happily, we cleared up the misconceptions and had a very nice chat.  I am glad he called.

The Grinch Who Shocked Christmas

The Grinch Who Shocked Christmas: "

(Bookstore | PA, USA)

(It is December and Christmas decorations have been recently put up throughout town. I recognize our town manager, in the store. She is responsible for all the towns’ decorations.)

Me: *as I am ringing up her books* “I love all the lights downtown!”

Town Manager: “Thank you!”

Me: “My favorite is the reindeer topiary garden!”

Town Manager: *scowling* “Well they do look nice, but unfortunately the children like them too.

Me: *confused* “Excuse me?”

Town Manager: “The children! They are always trying to touch the reindeer.”

Me: “I’m sure they’re very excited about Christmas, and hearing all about Rudolph.”

Town Manager: “The decorations are for looking at! Not for touching! I suggested electricity but no one liked that idea.”

Me: “You suggested what?”

Town Manager: “Just a light jolt, to discourage the children!”

(I am stunned and silent.)

Town Manager: “No, no one else liked that idea either.”

Me: “Here are your books! Happy holidays!”

"

Find Missing Manuals for PCs, Printers, and More

Find Missing Manuals for PCs, Printers, and More: "With a library of more than 100,000 downloadable instruction guides for all manner of electronics, Retrevo is a great place to start your search.








"

Quote Details: Kurt Vonnegut: There is a tragic... - The Quotations Page

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

Kurt Vonnegut, "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004
US novelist (1922 - 2007)

In Need Of A Better Outlook

I think I know her.

In Need Of A Better Outlook:

(Tech Support | Riverside, CA, USA)

Customer: “I’m having issues with my Outlook.”

Me: “Show me the problem you’re having so I can see if I can fix it for you.”

(She has six passwords each over twenty characters long, Bios password, Windows password, Zone Alarm Password, Outlook Password, etc…)

Me: “You don’t need to have your passwords that long for security’s sake.”

Customer: “I read on the internet that sniffers give up if the password is too long.”

Me: “I’m happy you did your research, but you don’t have to have it longer then 15 characters long.”

Customer: “Well I’m afraid if someone steals my laptop, the programs that can recover passwords can’t detect past twenty letters.”

Me: “That’s true, but no one really does that anymore. In this business we have customers coming in all the time to have us remove the password for them because they forgot it. For instance, I can get into your laptop in less then 2 – 3 minutes without your help.”

Customer: “No way. I’ve made precautions.”

Me: “I will be more then happy to show you that I can. But I would have to charge you a half hour fee and you would have to sign the work order giving me permission to.”

Customer: “And if you can’t? ”

Me: “Then I will be more then happy to refund you the money and you would have won this war.”

(Customer then pays the fee and signs the work order.)

Me: “Give me a moment.”

(A minute later.)

Me: “Here you go, I’m logged in to your Outlook.”

Customer: “Oh my God! How did you do that?”

Me: “If your really worried about someone stealing your laptop, you shouldn’t have laminated your passwords to the laptop.”

Daniel J. Boorstin

Daniel J. Boorstin: "'Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.'"

Quote Details: Isaac Asimov: The most exciting phrase...

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

Isaac Asimov
US science fiction novelist & scholar (1920 - 1992)

Victoria at the office

After Russell was sworn into the Texas Bar, he and Sarah Jane went over to the Texas Bar office so Barbara and I took Victoria with us. We waited at my office to join up with Russell and Sarah Jane for lunch. Victoria amused herself by exploring the Christmas tree in the lobby of my office.

Yukon Not Believe This Juan, Part 2

Yukon Not Believe This Juan, Part 2: "

(Military | Richmond, VA, USA)

(Canadian Army Reservists go to Fort Pickett in Virginia to train with the National Guard. I am in the last flight out of the U.S. and back to Nova Scotia. I am in my uniform, waiting for to be processed through security when a fellow traveler approaches me.)

Traveler: “Thank you so much for protecting us! We are so proud of the bravery of soldiers defending the United States!”

Me: “Thank you ma’am, but I’m not an American. I’m from the Canadian Army.”

(She looks confused, so I point to the small Canadian flag on my shoulder.)

Me: “You know, your friendly neighbours to the north?”

Traveler: “Oh! Mexico!”

Related:

Yukon Not Believe This Juan

"

Gratefulness

The sermon at church today was on gratefulness.  Since our pastor used to be an English teacher, I am sure she used the word gratefulness as opposed to gratitude for a reason.  The dictionary definition of both seems to be about the same.

Anyhow, today is my son John's 24th birthday.  We had breakfast at IHOP and the manager paid for our meal because we are such regular and loyal customers.  Something to be grateful for, the free breakfast and the fact that we are welcome there.  When several servers started singing a birthday song to John, he started to hit his head, so I had to grab his arms and hold him until they were finished singing.

John seems to have a hard time with special occasions.  I don't know if he is reacting to some disappointment that things don't live up to his expectations or what, but it is something that I have to work around.  Holidays are especially bad and I have to remove John to my office where he is not over stimulated.

We last for a couple of minutes at church today before I had to take John outside because he started hitting his head again.  This is one of those weeks that I am surprised that I don't get a visit from some adult protective services agency.  I am the one with the injured hand from the experience, not John.   We went for a walk and John calmed down and seemed pretty happy.  We went back into the service and I ended up holding him pretty tightly for most of the service. 

With all of that, I am sure that I did not pay 100% attention to the sermon, but I did catch a few ideas that I am going to have to think about.  

What I heard was that for a given situation, I have a choice of asking myself  "Why me?" or looking at it as an opportunity for gratefulness.  Whether or not Rev. Karen actually said what I heard or not probably doesn't make much difference.  

Since John was diagnosed with autism some 21 years ago, I have had a lot of "Why me" moments.  IHOP and  taking John from church this morning come to mind.  Not as many gratefulness moments though.  Like I said, something to pray and think about.