Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Sarah Palin is a post turtle.'

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top,
that's a post turtle.'


The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.

'You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.'

Opie Andy Griffith Fonz Endorse Barack Obama!

Very clever and nostalgic.

Dear Abby: Forgiveness

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Now playing: Daniel Rodriguez - How Great Thou Art
via FoxyTunes

I thought about this all day today. My own take is that forgiveness is more for the giver. I used to think that giveing forgiveness was also giving license to someone to do the same thing over again. Of course I have got passed that, I know now that there is nothing wrong with protecting myself.

DEAR ABBY: What is "true forgiveness"? I said some terrible things to a friend in anger and didn't hear from her for a few weeks. Recently, I received an e-mail saying she "forgave" me but no longer wants to keep in touch, adding that it is important for her to know that I am happy.

I wrote back saying I still want to stay in touch and remain friends. I apologized profusely for my lapse in judgment, but she hasn't responded.

Abby, I thought forgiveness meant to absolve, to cease to feel resentment -- to "wipe the slate clean." Am I wrong to feel that? Isn't she still holding a grudge against me? I realize it's up to her to communicate, but I'm confused how she can claim she forgives me while still harboring bad feelings. Can you help? -- PERPLEXED IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR PERPLEXED: To forgive someone does not mean that you develop amnesia. While the woman you hurt may not be holding a grudge, she may consider you too "dangerous" to allow back into her life. May I offer a word of advice to you? Continue moseying on down the road of life, and in the future watch your mouth, or eventually you may find yourself friendless.

Perfect Joke

A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, 'You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.'

The cowboy replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.'

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.'

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

'Oh, no, everybody's just fine, ' he explains, 'It's just that my wife and I joined the Mormon Church and I had to quit drinking.'

'Hasn't affected my brothers though.'

The new McCain campaign advisor

The ever funny Betty White.

PC World - The 10 Most Overrated Products

Kind of fun to read. I will have to check out the Photoshop replacement at http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,64533/description.html
PC World - The 10 Most Overrated Products: "Hype springs eternal. Lots of technologies, products, and services don't merit the praise heaped on them. Here are 10 tech items that don't live up to their billing--and 10 that deserve respect that they don't receive."

SNL - The VP debate

Very funny, very brutal, though I do hope that Tina Fey does not have an eight year run on her character.

Slate readers predict McCain's next Hail Mary campaign stunt. - - Slate Magazine

Funny list. Liked the following:

Slate readers predict McCain's next Hail Mary campaign stunt. - - Slate Magazine: "#
Divorces Cindy, marries Palin.
#
Doesn't divorce Cindy, moves to Utah, marries Palin.
#
Divorces Cindy, moves to Massachusetts, marries Joe Lieberman."

Homer Simpson votes

This is not a documentary (I hope).

Leave it to Wanda

Les Misbarack

What can I say? Very clever and at the same time very inspiring.

The Pop Vs Soda Map

I grew up in Utah and a carbonated beverage (at least the non-alcoholic varieties) were refered to as 'pop.'   After moving to Texas I found out that a 'coke' could also be a Dr. Pepper.

Fun map.  Click on link above to see a full sized version of the map.

Hurricane guidelines for faculty members

Barbara forwarded this to me today. Austin hasn't actually had a hurricane since 1961 so we aren't too terribly worried about Ike, but it does pay to be prepared.

As we watch the progress of Hurricane Ike, the following are some guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1

No excuse for being late to work. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2

Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans. We also advise you wear goggles.

Hurricane Category #3

Whereas most of the area will be flooded, we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to those in need of crossing the street to get to the office building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4

More than likely, there will be no electricity, so make sure you charge the batteries in the lap tops. We will also have manual typewriters available to all staff members that forget to charge the batteries. Ladies, please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5

Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chair when the windows blow out of the building. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake and ice-cream from HEB at 3:00 PM in the kitchen.

Keith Olbermann on 9/11

Fascinating (to me at least) diatribe by Olbermann on how the Republicans have taken over 9/11. I think part of the problem is that the Democrats let them take it over, along with American Flag and presumably motherhood and apple pie.

I wonder how much of Olbermann's rant is theatrics and how much is heart felt.

This is supposed to be a day of remembrance. Remembrance of the attack, remembrance of the national unity which followed it.

Most important of all, remembrance of the dead.

But 9/11 has become…… a brand name.

A Republican campaign slogan.

Propaganda of the lowest form.

Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C) The Simpsons - Homer 's Colonoscopy - Promo

See how they handle a sensitive subject...


NOT!

The Prayer

I listen to Pandora when I am at the office and stumbled upon this selection by Daniel Rodriguez was bowled away. I was happy to find a video of the performance on YouTube.

List Of The Day: Hell Hath No Fury: Scorned Women Of The Day

List Of The Day: Hell Hath No Fury: Scorned Women Of The Day

Not for the easily offended, but funny as hell.

The Top 100 Undiscovered Web Sites

As if I didn't waste enough time online, PC Magazine has listed what they consider to be the best of the obscure.

I haven't spent a lot of time looking at them yet, but some seem kind of interesting at first glance. Here are a few I will check out when I get around to it.

• Drop.ioa file sharing website for when I have attachments that are too large to email.
• Mux will let me convert a video file to something I can put on my IPOD.
• CalorieLab gives has calorie info for just about every restaurant chain and type of food imaginable. Maybe ignorance is bliss?
• Criminal Searches provides the scary-but-useful data on how many criminals live in your neighborhood, what crimes they were convicted of, and, in some cases, their names and personal info. Ditto the ignorance and bliss thing.
• Damn Interesting - Their goal is to "collect and dispense damn interesting facts and ideas, whether they appeared in the past, the present, or the (anticipated) future."
• HowToCleanStuff -
  

Yes, your goofy e-mail address says something about you

I wonder what my rather bland email address says about me?

Yes, your goofy e-mail address says something about you:

"Scientists at the University of Leipzig have taken a close look at these questions, and yes, they say, people really do judge others based on the e-mail addresses they choose. What's more interesting, however, is that these judgments tend to be right."

PC World - 11 Things We Hate About iTunes

I have some of the same complaints that PCWorld points out in their article.

PC World - 11 Things We Hate About iTunes: "iPod and iPhone owners know that Apple's iTunes is the dominant software for managing digital media. But some aspects of iTunes drive us nuts."