New Company Policy

We had our annual layoffs again yesterday so the item below is becoming a lot more relevant.

Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Severe Late-Aged Personnel).

Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.

SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.

SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:

Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.

And, once again, thanks for all your years of service.

ID ten error

I was having trouble with my computer.

So I called Howard, the computer guy, to come over. Howard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that . in case I need to fix it again?" Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down. I D 1 0 T

I used to like Howard.

New York to London with modern technology

Now THIS is both bizarre and funny!

I guarantee you will show this to someone else, it's too off-the-wall not to.

1. Go to www.google.com

2. Click on "maps"

3. Click on "get directions"

4. Type "New York" in the first box at the top of the page (the "from" box)

5. Type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)

6. Read down to at least step # 21.

Separation of Church and State and Tax Exemptions - washingtonpost.com

I do not plan on voting for Br. Romney, but even I think a vote for Romney is not really a vote for Satan.

Separation of Church and State and Tax Exemptions - washingtonpost.com: "Florida evangelist Bill Keller says he was making a spiritual -- not political -- statement when he warned the 2.4 million subscribers to his Internet prayer ministry that 'if you vote for Mitt Romney, you are voting for Satan!'"

From my friend Susan: Another Blonde Joke

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there.! "

If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here

SavareseLowry: You're adopting who?

Super commentary in today's paper.

SavareseLowry: You're adopting who?: "'Why would anyone adopt a badly abused, autistic 6-year-old from foster care?'

So my wife and I were asked at the outset of our adoption-as-a-first-resort adventure. It was a reasonable question in this age of narrow self-concern — far more reasonable, or at least more reasonably put, than many of the other questions we fielded."

Woman: Blame devil for infant in microwave - CNN.com

Just when you think you have heard it all. No wonder so many people (including myself) are so cynical when it comes to religion. With any luck this idiot will be spending the rest of his life preaching his fellow prison inmates.

Woman: Blame devil for infant in microwave - CNN.com: "GALVESTON, Texas (AP) -- A woman blames the devil, and not her husband, for severely burning their infant daughter in a microwave, a Texas television station reported.

Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter May 10 because the devil disapproved of Joshua's efforts to become a preacher."

Mrs. Betty Bowers' Eulogy to Reverend Jerry Falwell : All's Well That Ends Falwell

This of course is satire but Mrs. Betty Bowers has outdone her self in this column. No tears shed for Falwell here.

Mrs. Betty Bowers' Eulogy to Reverend Jerry Falwell : All's Well That Ends Falwell: "Gossipy paramedics told me that Jerry died of a faulty heart. Frankly, my only surprise was that he had one at all. Nevertheless, his yammering mug finally being silenced because he had a failed heart seems marvelously fitting. After all, while he was alive, this obscenely wealthy miser's heart seemed to fail him at even the most mundane opportunities. Jerry never gave anything to anyone other than an interview. Indeed, so parsimonious was this vain, oily swindler, in the aftermath of our nation's great tragedy on September 11, 2001, the only thing Jerry thought to give those who grieved was blame."

What to say - Advice from Miss Manners

From time to time someone says something incredibly boorish about our situation. I thought the following advice from Miss Manners was right on.

"Dear Miss Manners:

My family and I have just been through the difficult and draining experience of caring for my father through his terminal illness and grieving his loss. While so many have brought comfort and care to us, this milestone has been made more difficult on occasion by allegedly well-meaning people and their almost unbelievably insensitive comments.

For example, to my unmarried sister, 'I guess you'll have to find someone else to walk you down the aisle, dear' or to my mother after church, 'I'll bet the hardest part is waking up in the morning alone.'

What does one say to such people? Is there a polite way to let them know how inappropriate and painful their remarks are to us?

Yes: 'I'm sure you meant to be kind.'"

The Ten Rules of Housekeeping

From my dad. We really weren't raised this way though.

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
   
2. Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.
   
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
   
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
   
5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
   
6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
   
7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
   
8. If dusting is really out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist, "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."
   

Oldies enjoy a renaissance

From Kim Komando:

Thanks to online music stores, old recording artists are making a comeback. Often, their music has been long out of print. But now fans are rediscovering it. Even one-hit wonders are finding that fans are downloading their music.

I have been very happy to find songs that I loved when I was younger on ITunes. I was surprised to find out that I could download music from the Electric Prunes!

Red State Update: Everybody's mad at George Tenet

Yahoo Lyrics Search

This is great when you can't remember the lyrics of a song. Just type in the few words you do remember and Yahoo! searches for a match.

For instance, I can finally know the lyrics to "Louie Louie."

http://music.yahoo.com/lyrics/7460586

Leap of Faith

Sobering cartoon.

"Worse than Nixon"

War Room - Salon.com

Glad to see that someone else thinks so also.

On the day that Rep. Dennis Kucinich is introducing articles of impeachment against Dick Cheney, former Democratic presidential candidate George McGovern is predicting that the vice president and his boss will be out of office soon enough anyway. "It is my firm belief that the Cheney-Bush team has committed offenses that are worse than those that drove Nixon, Vice President Spiro Agnew and Atty. Gen. John Mitchell from office after 1972," McGovern writes in a Los Angeles Times Op-Ed. "Indeed, as their repeated violations of the Constitution and federal statutes, as well as their repudiation of international law, come under increased consideration, I expect to see Cheney and Bush forced to resign their offices before 2008 is over."

-- Tim Griev

Virginia Tech shooting victim had local roots

Just when I didn't think the shootings could get any more sadder I found out that one of the students who was killed used to live down the street from us. Rachel used to babysit Michelle years ago.

Virginia Tech shooting victim had local roots
Austin Michelle Cloyd remembered as a well-liked student, an eager learner.

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Saturday, April 21, 2007

Austin Michelle Cloyd, an 18-year-old victim of this week's Virginia Tech shooting, lived in the Austin area as a child and attended Laurel Mountain Elementary School in far northwest Austin in the Round Rock school district.

Principal Jan Richards on Friday remembered Cloyd as a "delightful little girl, with beautiful, curly red hair."

"Austin started kindergarten here in 1994 and graduated in the 1999 as a fifth-grader," Richards said. "I was teaching first grade back then, and she was in my class. She was an eager learner and was well liked by the other students."

She said she learned of Cloyd's death via e-mail this week.

Richards said that Cloyd's mother, Renee, had been active in school activities.

"You could always count on her mom whenever you needed anything," Richards said.

Richards, who has been at Laurel Mountain for 18 years, the past five as principal, said she thinks the family moved from the Round Rock district during the summer of 1999, shortly after Cloyd graduated from Laurel Mountain.

Her father, C. Bryan Cloyd, taught at the University of Texas from 1993 to 1999.

After leaving UT, he joined the faculty of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign before becoming a professor of accounting at Virginia Tech in 2005.

Austin Cloyd had a double major in international studies and French, with a minor in environmental policy.

She spent four summers working with the Appalachian Service Project and wanted to work at the United Nations.

The teenager loved to act, sing, play volleyball, read and shop, The Washington Post reported Friday.

Bailey Hampton, a 17-year-old friend from Illinois, told the newspaper that Cloyd was "high-maintenance, in a good way."

saddam in heaven

More cruelty from right-wing crackpots

Nothing like blaming the victims.

The difference between liberals and conservatives, Chapter 973: While liberal Salon readers were debating the decorum of criticizing the president on a national day of mourning over the Virginia Tech massacre, conservative bomb throwers wasted no time criticizing ... the victims.

It's not just Mad John Derbyshire yesterday -- "Where was the spirit of self-defense here ... [W]hy didn't anyone rush the guy?" That was bad enough. Today the National Review's Mark Steyn blamed the "awful corrosive passivity" of Virginia Tech students for not defending themselves against Cho Seung-Hui. He even mocks the male students as somehow not quite being men. (I found this at Think Progress.)

"I’m not sure I'm ready to go the full Derb but I think he's closer to the reality of the situation than most. ... Point one: They're not 'children.' The students at Virginia Tech were grown women and -- if you'll forgive the expression -- men.

"We do our children a disservice to raise them to entrust all to officialdom's security blanket. Geraldo-like 'protection' is a delusion: when something goes awry -- whether on a September morning flight out of Logan or on a peaceful college campus -- the state won't be there to protect you. You'll be the fellow on the scene who has to make the decision."

The hideous Michelle Malkin is even worse. "There's no polite way or time to say it: American colleges and universities have become coddle industries," she begins (as if she's ever thought about a polite time or way to say anything). She continues: "Instead of teaching students to defend their beliefs, American educators shield them from vigorous intellectual debate. Instead of encouraging autonomy, our higher institutions of learning stoke passivity and conflict-avoidance.

"And as the erosion of intellectual self-defense goes, so goes the erosion of physical self-defense." Malkin then goes off on a predictable rant against the Virginia law that prevents guns on campus.

So let's sort this out: On a day when people of conscience and common sense are asking what makes a miserable young man turn to guns and violence, conservative provocateurs are insisting the answer is more guns and violence. Over three tragic days, I've found solace in the actions of two Virginia Tech professors: the courageous Holocaust survivor Liviu Librescu, who died blocking the door so his students could get away, and English department chair Lucinda Roy, who tutored Cho personally when other students were afraid to be in class with him; who tried to get him counseling, and even went to the police with her concerns about the dangerously depressed student. But Malkin and Steyn are telling me Librescu and Roy are actually part of the problem.

Of course, I'd rather be in the camp where people debate whether it's OK to criticize the president in a time of tragedy than in the camp where people blame the victims of the tragedy. I actually feel sorry for decent conservatives today, having to be soiled by association with such garbage. But if you ever find yourself wondering why liberals are so often out-shouted in the public sphere, even though most Americans agree with their politics, remember this moment. It isn't easy to compete with wingnuts who will say absolutely anything to make their points. When Ann Coulter's cracks about the 9/11 widows start to look tame by comparison, you know standards of public discourse are continuing to erode.

A Real-Estate Roller Coaster (Literally) from Freakonomics Blog by Stephen J. Dubner

The Yale economist Robert Shiller has indexed American housing prices going back to 1890.

You know how people like to say that such-and-such experience “was a real roller-coaster ride”?

Well, the blogger Richard Hodge at SpeculativeBubble.com wanted to see if housing prices really were a roller-coaster ride. So he plotted Shiller’s inflation-adjusted index onto a roller-coaster video ride. It is pretty fantastic.

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Is it OK to criticize the president again?

Joan Walsh - Salon:

"Bush did a fine job at the memorial service Tuesday. His warm, regular-guy human decency shows up at times like this. You wonder where it goes the rest of the time, when he's presiding over a war that has already killed 3,300 Americans and getting ready to send more soldiers to Iraq. Bombs killed 127 more people in Baghdad today, on the heels of the attack on the Iraqi parliament building last week, the bombing of the historic Jadriya bridge, over the Tigris -- all this after we've been told the surge is working. What would things look like if it wasn't working?"

From the current "Real Time With Bill Maher." George W. Bush's guide to ethics.

Little boxes | Salon.com

Garrison Keillor hits the nail on the head once again. Italics below are mine.

Little boxes | Salon.com: "The Current Occupant, trying to escape the dreaded term Moderate Republican, has done violence to the Constitution and flown in the face of reality. He invades a country and allows neocon ideologues to play at colonialism until the country has descended into chaos and thereby costs the lives of young Americans who had other plans than to be blown up in a war whose purpose now is forgotten. And then he wraps himself in Old Glory and dares you to say otherwise. We are now three-quarters of the way through the Attention Deficit Administration and who knows what dark surprises remain?"

More old folks humor --- so funny yet real.

More from my dad

*Distraught Senior*

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

*Walking Recovery*

From my dad....

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.

After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time.

"But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"

Imam's prayer in Senate makes one senator a no-show

This is why I never make fun of Utah politicians. Some of ours here in Texas are just unbelievably ignorant.

Nothing is more routine on the floor of the Texas Senate than the morning prayer. Unless the prayer is delivered during Passover, four days before Easter, by a Muslim cleric whose background is questioned by conservative radio talk show hosts, one of whom happens to be a senator.

The senator, Dan Patrick, who has from his first day in office challenged tradition, may have become the first senator ever to leave the floor in protest of the prayer. The invocation itself was a first for the the Senate, delivered by Imam Yusuf Kavakci, with the Dallas Central Mosque.

Before he could stand before the Senate, Kavakci faced accusations by conservative groups such as the Texas Eagle Forum, suggesting that he was a member of a radical Muslim religious sect, a charge he has denied.

Here I Am With President Romney

Reason I blog... Too funny

Parody of Allan Sherman's "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" (itself a parody of Ponchielli's "Dance of the Hours")

Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

http://www.spaff.com/poesy/romney.html

Fred Thompson's First Campaign Ad?

I am not even that big of a fan of his character on Law and Order, but I did like this video.

Great definition - SPASM child

Simply Pray And Send Money - GARRISON KEILLOR

Trunk Monkey

No car should be without one?

Thank you for signing Oppose Vice President Dick Cheney's BYU Commencement Speech

Couldn't help myself. I guess Darth Vader wasn't available.

BYU commencement speaker

So happy that none of my kids is graduating from BYU this year.  I am surprised they didn't have Mitt Romney speak instead.

"An invitation for Vice President Cheney to speak at BYU's April commencement was extended by members of the First Presidency of the LDS Church in their capacities as chair and vice chairs of the BYU Board of Trustees," Jenkins said.

BYU NewsNet - Cheney Visit Confirmed

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Vanity Fair: The Night of the Generals

Amazing article in the current issue of Vanity Fair.

The six retired generals who stepped forward last spring to publicly attack Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's handling of the Iraq war had to overcome a culture of reticence based on civilian control of the military. But while each man acted separately, all shared one experience: a growing outrage over the administration's incompetence, leading some of the nation's finest soldiers to risk their reputations and cross a time-honored line.

The Night of the Generals: Politics & Power: vanityfair.com

I always figured that 9/11 was just an excuse for the Bush administration to declare war on Iraq.  The article talks about General John Batiste, former commander of the First Infantry
Division

From March 2001 to June 2002, Batiste worked alongside Wolfowitz. ("Unflappable," Wolfowitz later called him.) In that position, he saw the Iraq war take shape even before September 11, then saw the plan solidify. He was there that Saturday morning in early 2002, for instance, when Rumsfeld, unhappy with the proposed troop numbers, sent General Tommy Franks, the CentCom commander, packing back to Tampa with orders to come up with a way to do the war on the cheap. Batiste says he had doubts from the outset, but though he had Wolfowitz's ear daily, he didn't bend it; someone else, he thought, surely would. "I didn't always agree with his thinking," he says, "but you have a certain amount of trust that your government and its apparatus will look at all sides of something before they go to war."

.

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Have a Messy Desk? Congrats, You're More Productive

Sponsored by publisher Little, Brown and Co., the competition promoted "A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder," by Eric Abrahamson and David Freedman, a new book that argues neatness is overrated, costs money, wastes time and quashes creativity."We think that being more organized and ordered and neat is a good thing and it turns out, that's not always the case," said Freedman."Most of us are messy, and most of us are messy at a level that works very, very well for us," he said in an interview. "In most cases, if we got a lot neater and more organized, we would be less effective."

Have a Messy Desk? Congrats, You're More Productive - News and Analysis by PC Magazine

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From my dad: *Murphy's Laws on Computers*

• As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.
• Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one.
• You can't win them all, but you sure can lose them all.
• The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.
• There are only two kinds of computer users: Those whose hard disks have crashed, and those whose hard disks haven't crashed yet.
• Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it. If you fiddle with something long enough, you'll break it.
  

Office workers more prone to blood clots

Incentive to get off my butt and walk around during the day.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Office workers glued to computer screens are at greater risk of deadly blood clots forming in their legs than long-distance air travelers, the author of a New Zealand study on thrombosis said Monday.ADVERTISEMENTThe study found that 34 per cent of patients admitted to hospital with blood clots had been seated at work for long periods, its leader, Prof. Richard Beasley of New Zealand's privately funded Medical Research Institute, told The Associated Press.

Office workers more prone to blood clots - Yahoo! News

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My aching back, part 2

I now have two back specialists, one for my lower back and one for my neck and upper back.

My lower back doctor indicated that I have:

• Spondylolisthesis
  
  The skeletal anatomy involved in spondylolisthesis is complex but, in brief, it works like this: Each vertebra in the spine has a thick anterior body (called the centrum). A vertebral (or neural) arch on the surface of the centrum encloses a "vertebral foramen," which the spinal cord passes through. On each side of the neural arch on each vertebra, a pair of "superior articulating processes" projects up, and pair of "inferior articulating processes" projects down, supplying support and flexibility.
  
  Spondylolysis is the degeneration or deficient development of these articulating parts of the vertebra. It can range from a serious condition to a mild one.
  
  Spondylolysis may permit forward slippage of a vertebra onto the next vertebra below it, producing a spondylolisthesis. Spondylolysis occurs in 6% of the population, but only in people who can stand upright and walk. Spondylolysis is more common among athletes active in sports that require repetitive hyperextension, such as diving, weight lifting, wrestling and gymnastics.
  
  Children and teens with this condition may have no symptoms, though symptoms often develop during the preadolescent growth spurt. The magnitude of symptoms does not always correlate with the severity of the slipped vertebra. Many people with this condition don't require treatment. Spondylolysis or low-grade spondylolisthesis may be managed conservatively without surgery. However, young ("skeletally immature") people with more than 30 to 50% slippage are at increased risk for progression and are candidates for spinal fusion without delay. For other patients, treatment can vary from surgery to physical therapy to modification of activities.
  
  Spondylolisthesis has an emotional impact because pain can limit function and impair quality of life. Education is important in giving the patient a sense of control and the information necessary to make informed treatment decisions.
  
  
• neurogenic claudication
  
  Spinal claudication is pain in the buttocks and legs brought on by exercise with the back in an extended position.
  
  Spinal claudication may be mistaken for:
  
  * intermittent claudication due to arterial disease, or
  * typical lumbar disc prolapse
  
  It is relieved by sitting, bending forward or lying down.
  
  
• multilevel disc degeneration
  
  Description of Degenerative Disc Disease
  
  DDD can affect any part of the spine, although common sites are the lumbar (lower back) and cervical (neck) spine; thoracic DDD is very uncommon.
  
  Radiographic (x-ray) findings of DDD are a narrower disc space and some osteophyte (bony outgrowth of spur) formation. As people age, these changes tend to show up on the radiographs of most men and women. However, the first imaging modality to detect changes of DDD is MRI (magnetic resonance imaging), even before plain radiographs. Loss of water content (hydration) in the invertebral disc is an early finding, which is followed by narrowing of the disc space. People in the 20?s and 30?s may already have changes to their discs but no clinical symptoms. As the aging processes continues, the prevalence of DDD increases.
  
  In the early phases of DDD, spontaneous or post-traumatic tears, degeneration, fibrosis, and collapse of the disc may lead to failure of mechanical function. This is associated with low back pain and possible leg pain if there is nerve root impingement (radiculopathy).
  
  As DDD progresses, there is ligamentous buckling and osteophyte development which can cause narrowing of the space for the spinal cord and nerve roots. Lumbar spinal stenosis is the narrowing of the neural canal and foramina to an extent that results in compression of the lumbosacral nerve roots or cauda equina. Acquired lumbar stenosis is caused primarily be degenerative disease of the spine. However, a congenitally narrow or small spinal canal is a common finding; when present, it requires less disc degeneration, smaller disc herniation, or osteophytes to cause symptoms.
  

How old are you? History Exam

History Exam...
If you don't score very well blame it on being too young !! It is a
Win - win situation.

This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they Really remember about what went on in their life. Get paper and pencil and Number from 1 to 20. Write the letter of each answer and score at the end. Then, best of all, before you pass this test on, put your score in the Subject line!

1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches Located?
A. On the floor shift knob
B. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
C. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what Was it used?
A. Capture lightning bugs
B. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
C. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
A. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
B. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
C. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, Expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
A. Blackjack
B. Gin
C. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings When none were available due to rationing during W.W.II
A. Suntan
B. Leg painting
C. Wearing slacks
6. What post war car turned automotive design on its ear when you Couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
A. Studebaker
B. Nash Metro
C. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
A. Strips of dried peanut butter
B. Chocolate licorice bars
C. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?
A. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
B. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
C. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to Your shoes?
A. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
B. Woven straps that crossed the foot
C. Long pieces of twine

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
A. Consider all the facts
B. Ask Mom
C. Eeny-meeny-miney-MO

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's?
A. Smallpox
B. AIDS
C. Polio

12. I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey"
A. SUV
B. Taxi
C. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
A. Old Blue
B. Paint
C. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
A. Part of the game of hide and seek
B. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores
C. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
A. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
B. Princess Sacajawea
C. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests Were handed out in school?
a. immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high
B. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
C. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with Purchases ?
A. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like Bubble gum
B. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household Items
C. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos

18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
A. Meatballs
B. Dames
C. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
A. The Ink Spots
B. The Supremes
C. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco ?
A. Tony Bennett
B. Xavier Cugat
C. George Gershwin

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--
ANSWERS

1. B) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe , took till the late '60's to catch on.

2. B) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. C) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the Bottle top.

4. A) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8 a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today..

SCORING

17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!

12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting there.

0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.

Medieval Helpdesk

I can relate to this.

Spinal stenosis

After spending over an hour in an MRI earlier this week I have been diagonsed with Cervical Spinal Stenosis (I had the doctor write it down so I would remember before I got to the car). If is isn't one thing, it is another. If I start to lose function in my hands then I will probably have to look to some surgery since I really do rely on my ability to type.

Spinal stenosis is a narrowing of the spinal canal, which places pressure on the spinal cord. If the stenosis is located on the lower part of the spinal cord it is called lumbar spinal stenosis. Stenosis in the upper part of the spinal cord is called cervical spinal stenosis. While spinal stenosis can be found in any part of the spine, the lumbar and cervical areas are the most commonly affected.

What Causes Spinal Stenosis?

Some patients are born with this narrowing, but most often spinal stenosis is seen in patients over the age of 50. In these patients, stenosis is the gradual result of aging and “wear and tear” on the spine during everyday activities. There most likely is a genetic predisposition to this since only a minority of individuals develops advanced symptomatic changes. As people age, the ligaments of the spine can thicken and harden (called calcification). Bones and joints may also enlarge, and bone spurs (called osteophytes) may form. Bulging or herniated discs are also common. Spondylolisthesis (the slipping of one vertebra onto another) also occurs and leads to compression. When these conditions occur in the spinal area, they can cause the spinal canal to narrow, creating pressure on the spinal nerve.

Symptoms of Stenosis

The narrowing of the spinal canal itself does not usually cause any symptoms. It is when inflammation of the nerves occurs at the level of increased pressure that patients begin to experience problems. Patients with lumbar spinal stenosis may feel pain, weakness, or numbness in the legs, calves or buttocks. In the lumbar spine, symptoms often increase when walking short distances and decrease when the patient sits, bends forward or lies down. Cervical spinal stenosis may cause similar symptoms in the shoulders, arms, and legs; hand clumsiness and gait and balance disturbances can also occur. In some patients the pain starts in the legs and moves upward to the buttocks; in other patients the pain begins higher in the body and moves downward. This is referred to as a “sensory march”. The pain may radiate like sciatica or may be a cramping pain. In severe cases, the pain can be constant. Severe cases of stenosis can also cause bladder and bowel problems, but this rarely occurs. Also paraplegia or significant loss of function also rarely, if ever, occurs.

Atkins diet in the news

I have been on Atkins for the last 3 1/2 years and have been able to keep much of the weight I have lost off.  As the article points out though, it is no silver bullet.  Beats a silver buffet though.

The low-carb, high-fat Atkins diet gets high marks in one of the biggest, longest head-to-head studies of popular weight-loss plans, beating the Zone, the Ornish diet and even U.S. guidelines. Even so, critics say the results show how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off.

Atkins beats other diet plans in study - Yahoo! News

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NEW WORDS FOR 2007

This is why I have a blog. Thanks to my good friend Beverly M.

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!!

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard .

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Well, what better endorsement could you ask for?

March 3, 2007 | WASHINGTON -- The Ann Coulter presidential primary ended on Friday, before an oversold crowd of Republican college kids and conservative activists in a basement hotel conference room. She had just finished doing her incendiary stand-up act, joking that Al Gore was fat ("Did Al Gore actually swallow Michael Moore?"), that Bill Clinton was the first black president ("half white, half trash") and that John Edwards was a "faggot."Then a question came from the audience. What did she think of Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor now running for president? "I think he is probably our best candidate," she said, with a sudden lack of sarcasm, prompting a round of applause from the room. "I think we have to be serious about this."

The Republican candidates -- and Ann Coulter -- try out their acts | Salon News

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Gallup poll on feelings about mormon church

I thought this was an interesting poll for a lot of reasons. Here are some of the key findings from the poll. I was surprised to find that those who are most like active members of the church are those who have the most negative opinions of the church (i.e. conservative church going Republican Protestants).

• Americans who are more religious (as measured by frequency of church attendance) and those who are Protestant have highly negative views of the Mormon religion. The differences in views of Mormons among groups defined by their church attendance are significant. There is a net negative view of -21 points among Americans who attend church weekly, contrasted with a net positive view of +10 among those who seldom or never attend church.
  
  
• Protestants are significantly more negative in their views than Catholics, who are the most positive group by religion.
  
  
• There are minor partisan differences. Republicans are slightly more negative in their views of Mormons than are either independents or Democrats.
  
  
• There is a major difference by ideological group. Liberals are extremely negative in their views on a relative basis; 28% have favorable opinions and 61% unfavorable opinions. By contrast, conservatives are essentially evenly divided in their views, while moderates break to the positive side, with 48% favorable and 40% unfavorable opinions.
  
  
• Opinions of Mormons are better formed in the West, where the preponderance of Mormons live, and are slightly more positive than negative. Only 3% of those living in the West have no opinion whatever of Mormons.

I was also surprised that polygamy is still the first thing more people associate with the church than anything else.

Even among this group of Americans who have favorable opinions, Gallup finds that polygamy is the most frequently mentioned single impression of the religion. Officially, the LDS church has outlawed polygamy since 1890, and those who practice it are excommunicated. But the historical connection of the Mormon church with polygamy, more recent highly publicized cases of polygamists in the news, and perhaps the HBO show "Big Love" have kept the connection fresh in people's minds.

Not for the easily offended: Mormons as Al-Qaeda

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

I was very touched by this.

Craig Ferguson puts it out there

Here's an unusual late night monologue. In this two part clip, "The Late Late Show's" Craig Ferguson talks earlier this week about some things that have been bothering him about making fun of people on his program. It turns out that this talk show host wants to be able to sleep at night. Then he talks a bit about how he doesn't want to tell any Britney Spears' jokes because he just marked 15 years sober and then, well, if you don't have a lot of time, cue it up to around 4:50 to hear about some dark times.

Part 1


Part 2

Freeload: Upload a Ringtone to Your Cell Phone

Go out to the Internet and find a MIDI file you like. Make sure it's 20KB or smaller. Here's a Google search loaded with sites:
MIDI ringtones

Once you've downloaded the MIDI to your PC, head for the Freeload home page:
Freeload

There you'll upload the file to the Freeload server, and you'll get an eight-digit code to retrieve the MIDI using your cell phone.

While I was exploring, I noticed the site owner's warning--and I think it's great:

"READ THIS BEFORE YOU PRESS THE BUTTON: Freeload works for most phones with WAP and polyphonic tones. However, if it does not work for yours, I cannot suddenly make it work just because you e-mail me. I am not technical support for your phone. Don't e-mail me saying 'doesnt work 4 my fone wtf is up wit dis,' and then swear and whine at me when I'm not able to magically fix it."

Something I had not thought of

Silent running: For the environmentally minded, hybrid cars are an obvious boon -- great gas mileage, low emissions. For the blind pedestrian, though, there's a big downside: The cars, when in electric mode, make almost no noise, so it's difficult to be aware of them. While hard numbers on accidents involving the cars and the blind are hard to come by, some groups have swung into action. As the Wall Street Journal writes, "The National Federation of the Blind, an advocacy group, says all hybrid vehicles should emit a sound while turned on and is calling on the auto industry to make changes." Several schools for guide dogs reportedly will soon start to include hybrid car training with their animals. ("Blind Pedestrians Say Quiet Hybrids Pose Safety Threat," Wall Street Journal)

Will I Live To Be 80?

I recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"

"No," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you give a shit?"

Conan - iPhone Commercial

Don't know how long this will stay up but....

Study: Binge eating is No. 1 food disorder in USA

I almost want to say duh..... I was surprised to see the low percentages reported in the article, I would have thought they would be much higher.

BINGE, BY DEFINITION Binge eating disorder "is quite different from the ordinary munching you might do for the Super Bowl," says Harrison Pope Jr., a researcher who treats people with eating disorders at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. People who have the disorder "can't stop once they get started even though they feel uncomfortably full."

Obituary for Nathan Douglas Crow

So sad.

Nathan Douglas Crow 1/26/07 ~ 1/27/07 We will remember him In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we will remember him. In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we will remember him. In the opening buds and in the rebirth of spring, we will remember him. In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we will remember him. In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we will remember him. In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we will remember him. When we are weary and in need of strength, we will remember him. When we have joys we yearn to share, we will remember him. So long as we live, he too shall live, for he is now a part of us, as we remember him. It was so brief, the time we had with him, but in that time, we had so much. We will never forget the things he taught us, how strong we are learning to become. Now we must say goodbye, but we know, that some day, we will be together again. Survived by his mother and father, John and Lucinda Crow; his brother, Jordan, and sister, Camilla. Also survived by countless grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, who all love and miss him very much. In lieu of flowers, please make donations to an account at America First Credit Union, in his name, to help with medical costs. Services will be held at Neil O'Donnell & Son's Mortuary, 372 E. 100 S. in Salt Lake City, at 6:00 p.m. on Thursday February 1st. Call (801) 363-6641 for directions.
Published in the Deseret News on 2/1/2007.

My sister

I got an email last night from Diane saying that my other sister Julie had left a message on my mother's answering machine indicating that she was staying at a shelter.  Not sure of what kind of a shelter or anything else, but at least we know she is alive and presumably safe.

Joke: Taking Care of the cat....

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! (Lying just doesn't pay!)

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the
bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her back into the yard!"

........The cab driver hit a parked car

Codependence explained

An alcoholic of my acquaintance told the following joke recently: During the French Revolution, two alcoholics and a codependent are sentenced to the guillotine. The first alcoholic mounts the platform and places his head in the guillotine. When the blade falls, it mysteriously stops right before it severs his head. Astonished, the executioner proclaims it a miracle and frees the alcoholic. The second alcoholic steps to the platform and places his head in the guillotine. Again, the blade falls but mysteriously stops right before it severs his head. He, too, is freed by the astonished executioner. The third prisoner, the codependent, steps up on the platform, examines the blade and says, "I think I can fix this!"

law and order muppet style

If you need a smile today....

Says it all

Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts

Who thought they could improve upon an already perfect food?

DURHAM. N.C. - That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

While the product is not on the market yet, Bohannon has approached some heavyweight companies, including Krispy Kreme, Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks about carrying it.

Top ten worst domain names

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church . Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Need a laugh? Gladys Hardy on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

I think Ellen was had but it is still funny. Enjoy

Julie is Missing

Got an email from sister Diane this morning, turns out our other sister Julie has been missing for a week. Not the first time, but it is still upsetting.

Toddler's temper ousts family from plane

As a parent, I know that sometimes there is not much you can do to calm down a child. At the end of the article it said that the family said they would never fly on AirTran Airways again, but I am sure the rest of the passengers on the plane were happy they could take off and not have to wait for a 3-year-old to calm down first.

ORLANDO, Fla. - AirTran Airways on Tuesday defended its decision to remove a Massachusetts couple from a flight after their crying 3-year-old daughter refused to take her seat before takeoff.

Wii weight loss

Now here is an excellent excuse to spend time gaming...

Mickey DeLorenzo didn’t start out to lose weight. He just wanted to play with his Nintendo Wii. But all that arm waving caused him to work up a sweat. And the first thing he knew, nine pounds were gone.

I heard this on NPR the other day. Some people are just too stupid for words.

---

Police put squeeze on boa suspects

Friday, January 05, 2007

Jesse Tinsley

Plain Dealer Reporter

Cleveland Heights -- Returning to the scene of an exotic snake heist proved to be the dumbest of a string of mistakes by a mom-and-son shoplifting team that police said made off with a boa constrictor from a Lee Road pet store.

To accomplish the feat, a 15-year-old teen dared to wrap the 30-inch baby boa around his neck, hide it with his jacket and slither out of Petland, surveillance video shows. Police said his mother acted as a lookout.

On Dec. 22, a day after the reptile was stolen, the accused snake-nappers returned to the store and asked clerks for books on -- yes -- caring for boa constrictors, according to police reports.

Petland workers said the duo even went to the cage where the boa was nipped and inquired, nonchalantly, "What kind of boa was in this cage?"

Clerks recognized the pair, dressed in the same garb as on the day of the theft, from the video clips and stalled them until police arrived. After chatting up pet-shop staff for information on boa care, the relaxed teen purchased a feeder mouse for the snake, said Bobby Stuczynski, reptile and fish manager at Petland.

Police got there in about 60 seconds and arrested the accused boa bandits. They are Sebrina Hill, 35, of Belmar Road, and her son. Hill faces theft charges and will be appear in Cleveland Heights Municipal Court next month. The teen was booked and placed in the custody of relatives, police said.

Police reviewed the videotape, which they said shows a woman keeping a lookout as a teen took the $300, red-tail boa from its cage.

The fuzzy video also reveals what police said appeared to be the head of the boa sticking out of the youth's jacket collar.

That didn't surprise Stuczynski, who said the generally mild-mannered snake is a curious creature.

Even the laid-back red-tail boa can become aggressive under stress or if it fed improperly or kept in improper temperatures, Stuczynski said.

Police recovered the boa from the suspects' Belmar Road home. When it was returned to Petland, the staff, which had worried that the snake would become ill or die without proper care, erupted into cheers.

To reach this Plain Dealer reporter:

jtinsley@plaind.com, 216-999-4889

Speaking of Journaling: Iowa woman fired for journaling at work

Might be better not to do a lot of it at the office.

---

An administrative judge has denied unemployment benefits to a woman who was fired from her job for keeping a journal detailing her efforts to avoid work.

Emmalee Bauer, 25, of Elkhart, was employed by the Sheraton hotel company as a sales coordinator in Des Moines. While on the job, she kept a handwritten journal. A supervisor told her to stop writing on company time, but instead, Bauer wrote her journal, all 300 single-spaced pages, on her work computer.

In the journal, portions of which were introduced during a recent hearing regarding Bauer's request for unemployment, Bauer describes her efforts to avoid work.

"This typing thing seems to be doing the trick," she wrote. "It just looks like I am hard at work on something very important."

Bauer also wrote: "I am only here for the money and, lately, for the printer access. I haven't really accomplished anything in a long while ... and I am still getting paid more than I ever have at a job before, with less to do than I have ever had before. It's actually quite nice when I think of it that way. I can shop online, play games and read message boards and still get paid for it."

In her journal she speculated it could someday be published.

Bauer was fired for misuse of company time after a supervisor discovered the journal late last year.

Administrative Law Judge Susan Ackerman denied Bauer's request for unemployment last week, saying she the journal demonstrated a refusal to work, as well as Bauer's "amusement at getting away with it."

Why I write to a blog

"It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them." Isabel Colegate

Getting there

See, I could have sent this to everyone on my mailing list who is getting older....

I will just pretend that everyone who wants to see this will see it.

Quote from Phyllis Diller

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

Hanks. Tom Hanks

Sure, now you know about British actor Daniel Craig coming in and reviving the Bond franchise. But it almost didn't happen, because studio honchos wanted to take a safer route to success with a tried and true commodity. The sleuths at Chocolate Cake City and Double D Enterprises uncovered this preview of what might've been.

This and that

John and I are at the office, John is happily eating his buttered popcorn and surfing the web while I am finishing up some work. The popcorn smells really good since I haven't had dinner yet and I have all this holiday plus weight to get off. Had a nice lunch with Russell today. Russell went to get some substitute teacher training and came by on his way back.

John and I are about to go check on my friend's cat. I am not looking forward to changing the litter box but it needs to be done.

I am at the point in our software development cycle where I am not creating new functionality in my products, but am waiting for our quality assurance to find bugs so I am never sure how busy I am going to be on any given day. Today was slow which is good but a little boring.

Need a meeting?

Watch this video to see if you might need to attend this 12 step group :)

Down to four

Rachel went back to Provo on Friday afternoon. It is amazing how much quieter the house is now. John has taken to asking for Rachel again, he best hope is that she gets an internship in Texas this summer. John of course is not the only one who misses Rachel.

Barbara told me that the term in fact is internship, not a clerkship. Live and learn. Apparently clerkship is reserved for working with judges and the like.

It looks like Russell will be joining the ranks of substitute teachers while he waits to start law school. So everyone is busy and back to normal for the time being.

Congress Avenue reopened after dead bird investigation

Not a great way to start a new week. I don't work downtown (thank goodness) but the idea of random dead birds in any part of the town is pretty scary.

They have opened the street so the lucky workers can go back to their offices. I can't help but think of the canaries in the coal mines.

Trip to Houston to see Susan

John and I drove to Houston and back on Saturday to see his former school teacher Susan. John looks forward to his yearly summer visits to visit Susan and her husband Pat (aka 'Coach' to John). Susan was in town to visit her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren, so John and I decided to take the Prius out of town for the first time and go for a visit.

We were there for about five minutes before John decided that I should leave so he could have Susan's total attention. Luckily there was a mall a couple of miles away, so I went shopping at the mall while John and Susan bonded. A few hours later we met for lunch and John and I headed back to Austin.

Years ago I was in a gathering with my younger brother Joe where the discussion turned to the premise of "God never gives you more than you can handle," a concept that always makes me feel uncomfortable because I do feel overwhelmed when I take a moment to think about my life. Joe said something to the effect that God does sometimes give a person more than he or she can handle, but he also sends help. That is how I think of Susan, someone who God has sent to help us with John.

And then there were five

James and Emily took Harris and Jack home to Pittsburgh yesterday and this has been hard. It is sadly quiet around the house now.

I am really glad they came to visit this year, the kids have grown and it was a delight to spend time with all of them. I am impressed what great parents James and Emily are to the boys. I am very proud of James.


I was telling someone at work about Harry coming down the stairs yesterday morning as I was about to leave for work and he yelled out "Grandpa" and I was surprised how emotional I got telling (and now typing) the experience. They get under your skin very quickly.

I was also happy to see how matter-of-fact Harris was around John, he would ask John to join him playing with the marbles. John, Harris and Jack spent some time together watching videos which was really nice.

Today Rachel heads back to Provo to start on her fourth semester of law school. Time flies when you are having fun. On Wednesday she drove over to Houston to interview with a firm about a clerkship (I always want to say internship) for next summer. I hope she gets it, Houston is a much easier trip to make than one to Australia.

I asked her if she wanted someone to drive over with her and she reminded me that she had driven cars on the left side of the road in Australia and New Zealand, so she was confident she could handle a drive to Houston on her own.

Rabbit vs Snake

For the truly bored...

John's Doctor's visit

Barbara and I took John to see his doctor for a checkup this morning. John was pretty cooperative with the ear and balance tests. He was less so with all the questions from the medical assistant and the doctor.

The good news: John did much better on the tests than he did last fall. The doctor seems very optimistic which of course is great. The treatment will be more of the same plus trying some new medication to minimize some of his autistic mannerisms and sounds.

Stay tuned....

Lunch out with the kids

Went to a BBQ place called Rudy's that is very casual, we ate on the patio on picnic tables. You eat on big sheets of waxed paper so cleanup is a breeze. Good food and the grandkids seemed to like it! Jack really got into the spirit of things, he loved the potato salad and sausage.

I like taking John there because it is fast and he can eat what he likes, which is generally just the chicken.

Good Advice from Dear Abby

DEAR READERS: Rise and shine, my friends, and welcome a brand-new year! This is our chance for a new beginning. It is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I am printing Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct, and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.