Why I write to a blog

"It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them." Isabel Colegate

Getting there

See, I could have sent this to everyone on my mailing list who is getting older....

I will just pretend that everyone who wants to see this will see it.

Quote from Phyllis Diller

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

Hanks. Tom Hanks

Sure, now you know about British actor Daniel Craig coming in and reviving the Bond franchise. But it almost didn't happen, because studio honchos wanted to take a safer route to success with a tried and true commodity. The sleuths at Chocolate Cake City and Double D Enterprises uncovered this preview of what might've been.

This and that

John and I are at the office, John is happily eating his buttered popcorn and surfing the web while I am finishing up some work. The popcorn smells really good since I haven't had dinner yet and I have all this holiday plus weight to get off. Had a nice lunch with Russell today. Russell went to get some substitute teacher training and came by on his way back.

John and I are about to go check on my friend's cat. I am not looking forward to changing the litter box but it needs to be done.

I am at the point in our software development cycle where I am not creating new functionality in my products, but am waiting for our quality assurance to find bugs so I am never sure how busy I am going to be on any given day. Today was slow which is good but a little boring.

Need a meeting?

Watch this video to see if you might need to attend this 12 step group :)

Down to four

Rachel went back to Provo on Friday afternoon. It is amazing how much quieter the house is now. John has taken to asking for Rachel again, he best hope is that she gets an internship in Texas this summer. John of course is not the only one who misses Rachel.

Barbara told me that the term in fact is internship, not a clerkship. Live and learn. Apparently clerkship is reserved for working with judges and the like.

It looks like Russell will be joining the ranks of substitute teachers while he waits to start law school. So everyone is busy and back to normal for the time being.

Congress Avenue reopened after dead bird investigation

Not a great way to start a new week. I don't work downtown (thank goodness) but the idea of random dead birds in any part of the town is pretty scary.

They have opened the street so the lucky workers can go back to their offices. I can't help but think of the canaries in the coal mines.

Trip to Houston to see Susan

John and I drove to Houston and back on Saturday to see his former school teacher Susan. John looks forward to his yearly summer visits to visit Susan and her husband Pat (aka 'Coach' to John). Susan was in town to visit her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren, so John and I decided to take the Prius out of town for the first time and go for a visit.

We were there for about five minutes before John decided that I should leave so he could have Susan's total attention. Luckily there was a mall a couple of miles away, so I went shopping at the mall while John and Susan bonded. A few hours later we met for lunch and John and I headed back to Austin.

Years ago I was in a gathering with my younger brother Joe where the discussion turned to the premise of "God never gives you more than you can handle," a concept that always makes me feel uncomfortable because I do feel overwhelmed when I take a moment to think about my life. Joe said something to the effect that God does sometimes give a person more than he or she can handle, but he also sends help. That is how I think of Susan, someone who God has sent to help us with John.

And then there were five

James and Emily took Harris and Jack home to Pittsburgh yesterday and this has been hard. It is sadly quiet around the house now.

I am really glad they came to visit this year, the kids have grown and it was a delight to spend time with all of them. I am impressed what great parents James and Emily are to the boys. I am very proud of James.


I was telling someone at work about Harry coming down the stairs yesterday morning as I was about to leave for work and he yelled out "Grandpa" and I was surprised how emotional I got telling (and now typing) the experience. They get under your skin very quickly.

I was also happy to see how matter-of-fact Harris was around John, he would ask John to join him playing with the marbles. John, Harris and Jack spent some time together watching videos which was really nice.

Today Rachel heads back to Provo to start on her fourth semester of law school. Time flies when you are having fun. On Wednesday she drove over to Houston to interview with a firm about a clerkship (I always want to say internship) for next summer. I hope she gets it, Houston is a much easier trip to make than one to Australia.

I asked her if she wanted someone to drive over with her and she reminded me that she had driven cars on the left side of the road in Australia and New Zealand, so she was confident she could handle a drive to Houston on her own.

Rabbit vs Snake

For the truly bored...

John's Doctor's visit

Barbara and I took John to see his doctor for a checkup this morning. John was pretty cooperative with the ear and balance tests. He was less so with all the questions from the medical assistant and the doctor.

The good news: John did much better on the tests than he did last fall. The doctor seems very optimistic which of course is great. The treatment will be more of the same plus trying some new medication to minimize some of his autistic mannerisms and sounds.

Stay tuned....

Lunch out with the kids

Went to a BBQ place called Rudy's that is very casual, we ate on the patio on picnic tables. You eat on big sheets of waxed paper so cleanup is a breeze. Good food and the grandkids seemed to like it! Jack really got into the spirit of things, he loved the potato salad and sausage.

I like taking John there because it is fast and he can eat what he likes, which is generally just the chicken.

Good Advice from Dear Abby

DEAR READERS: Rise and shine, my friends, and welcome a brand-new year! This is our chance for a new beginning. It is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I am printing Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct, and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

Quote for the day

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Peter De Vries

Christmas at work

Another Christmas tradition in progress. John gets a little panicky on a holiday when most things are closed, so we come into my office for an hour or so at a time. John has his pc, I have mine. I won't really do much in the way of work today, just chill out with John. Free Cokes, popcorn for John, what more can a guy want?

This year we will probably not be going to IHOP like we do most other years since my friend aka John's uncle Andy is out of town.

Only in Texas: Women: Demon afflicted co-worker

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Two women fired from the University of Texas at Arlington anointed a co-worker's cubicle with olive oil because they felt the worker was "demonically oppressed," according to university personnel records.

Evelyne Micky Shatkin and Linda Shifflett have filed a lawsuit alleging that they were wrongfully fired last spring based on their religion, age and gender after praying in the office for another staff worker.

The women say they and a male co-worker, who was not fired, stayed after work March 3 for the praying and religious cleansing.

According to the personnel records, the male co-worker became uncomfortable when Shatkin began chanting and rubbing scented oil on an absent co-worker's cubicle wall. In an e-mail to supervisors, the man quotes Shatkin as praying: "You vicious evil dogs. Get the hell out of here, in the name of Jesus. I command you to leave."

Shatkin and the co-worker for whom she was praying had a history of problems that led to mediation last year, according to the personnel files.

Most outrageous comments of 2006

Most outrageous comments of 2006: highlights and lowlights of the rightwing smear machine --

I remember coupons

The ones we got were better than these though! Babysitting coupons were very much appreciated.

Santa as I remember him as a kid

The Santa we all know and love was created for Coca-Cola in 1931 by Haddon Sundblom. FollowinThe Santa we all know and love was created for Coca-Cola in 1931 by Haddon Sundblom. Following are just a few examples of the Santa Claus ads used throughout the 35 years of Haddon Sundblom's Santa paintings.g are just a few examples of the Santa Claus ads used throughout the 35 years of Haddon Sundblom's Santa paintings.

Click on the link to see more examples.

NEOLOGISMS

Here is a case where I would normally send this off to everyone that I have an email address for. That is why there are blogs, so I can restrain myself.


Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words .
The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole.

Russell is home!

He actually came home Tuesday and it is great to have him home with us.

I often think of Russell and Christmas. When he was three or four he brought me in the K-Mart advertisement that featured a Batman Bike. I went to K-Mart, bought the bike, and he was as happy as could be on Christmas morning. Russell taught me a lot about asking for what you want present wise.

This year I will be as happy as can be because I will have what I really want, and that is the new toilets! Not to mention having all my kids home together again, along with my lovely daughter-in-law and wonderful grandchildren.

Overeater's Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care,
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer,
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds; now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn
Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
"In the morning I'll starve...
'til I take that first bite!"

John at the office

100_0657
Originally uploaded by davidmaus.

We spend a lot of time at the office while John is off school. It gives him somewhere he can go and the folks here at work are always glad to get a little more work out of me.

I just learned about flickr and the seamless way it adds photos to my blog. I took this picture in October on the way out of the office. John used to ask to go to the candy machine but now will happily eat a banana. That and the diet Coke make any visit to the office complete.

The Beaver Trilogy

This is episode 226 first played on 12/6/02. I love This American Life and you can imagine my joy to hear a segment that featured Beaver, Utah. You can listen to it online for free.

Act One. Action! Action! Action! Starlee Kine tells the story of a man more obsessed with reruns than even she is. Director Trent Harris made a movie called The Beaver Trilogy. It's whole movie that's a rerun, based on a personal rerun that Trent found himself caught in. Starlee saw the movie, and tells the remarkable story of why it was made. (27 minutes.)

Holiday Birthdays

For all my friends and family who have birthdays close to the holidays.

Self Serve Christmas

From my dad:

A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for family and friends a bit much one Christmas, so she wrote out checks for all of them to put in their Christmas cards.

In each card she wrote, "Buy your own present" and then sent them off.

After the Christmas festivities were over, she found the checks in her desk!

Everyone had gotten a Christmas card from her with "Buy your own present" written inside, but without the checks!

Wisdom

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

---

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

---

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

---

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

---

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

---

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

---

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

---

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

What were they thinking?

Saw this in the paper this morning:

'Extreme Makeover' cast holds fundraiser at La Zona Rosa

The goal was to raise $140,000 to pay off the mortgage for the O'Donnell family, whose current home has mold, a leaky roof and other problems.

Five of the six O'Donnell children have autism, and the new house will include amenities to help the children.

Not to be unkind, but why do people keep having more and more children with autism? I can barely handle one.

Memories

I just had to laugh when I saw this.

I don't think that there is a parent alive who has had teenagers who doesn't relate.

Struggling family needs car to take mom for cancer treatments

And I thought I had things bad....

Sernas rally around faith, one another in tough times.

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Monday, December 11, 2006

Emma, Christopher and their 12-year-old son, Rueben, are grateful for each other and the comfort they find in their faith. The many challenges they face have not diminished their hope for a better, healthier future.

Emma is battling cancer for the third time and has had numerous surgeries, including a mastectomy and the removal of a malignant brain tumor. Her husband, Christopher, is diabetic and suffers back pain, and Rueben is also a cancer survivor with a prosthetic eye that needs to be replaced soon.

Emma has limited vision, but the family has not been able to afford treatment. Thanks to Brushy Creek Eye Care of Round Rock, she will get the eye care she needs.

"This is a very deserving family," said Dr. Javier Zamora, who was moved to help after reading about the Serna family. "I found out Mrs. Serna has not been able to see well in years. I'm glad our gift will help improve her vision."

The Sernas also have received the beds they needed. But their most urgent and biggest need remains: a reliable vehicle to get Emma from San Marcos to San Antonio for cancer treatment. She often has to make the trip every day, and it's a mad scramble to try to find transportation.

They would also like to have a computer for Rueben, a straight-A student who sells newspapers on the weekend to help with family finances. And a television would bring some entertainment into their lives.

After the Sernas' needs are met, Community Action Inc. will distribute additional donations to other families with similar needs. To reach the agency, call (512) 392-1161.

Plaid Tidings

Had the best time tonight watching this at the Zachary Scott Theater.
I had seen Forever Plaid years ago at the Zach so this was a lot of fun. Two of the singers were in the original production.

This was the first time I had been to a production in their new theater. It used to be a bike shop next door to the other theaters. The stage was nice but there was a lack of bathrooms. There were two porta potties in front of the building. Glad I didn't have to make a potty break at intermission.

Nice moment

With all the craziness of remodeling, no toilets and waiting on delivery men and plumbers, it was nice to have a happy lunch with John today.

On Saturday I promised him that we would have lunch at Macaroni Grill today. We both ordered our favorites, John loves the Spaghetti and meatballs, I had the spinach salad. John was very happy to be there, was on his very best behavior, and was a joy to sit with. Since we were there early, we got to sit by a nice warm fire on this cold and rainy day.

One things about dining out with John, they remember you. I went with a co-worker there one time when it was busy. The manager recognized me and sat us immediately because I was a valued customer.

Flatulent passenger grounds flight

Here is an example of something I would probably send to everyone I know if I didn't have a blog...

NASHVILLE, Tenn., Dec 6 (Reuters Life!) - It may be one problem airline security officials never envisioned -- a passenger lighting matches in flight to mask odors from her flatulence.

The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing on Monday in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Washington, D.C., said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for Nashville's airport.

Other passengers reported the odor of burned matches, but the woman was not forthcoming when asked about it, Lowrance said on Wednesday.

"Of course, she was scared and embarrassed but all the passengers had to disembark, all the luggage had to be searched, a canine team was brought in, and about three hours were consumed in sorting out the situation," she said.

The woman was not allowed back on the flight and barred from flying on American Airlines, Lowrance said.

"Since there was no malice involved and the incident was accidental, she was not charged with anything," she said.

Passengers are permitted four books of paper safety matches on a plane but cannot light them during flight, Lowrance said.

Fa-la-la-la-lawsuit. - By Dahlia Lithwick - Slate Magazine

Company part invite.

Fa-la-la-la-lawsuit. - By Dahlia Lithwick - Slate Magazine:

"WARNING: You are herein invited to attend a Holiday Party. Should you choose to attend this event, you are herein advised that you do so at your own peril. Food served may be manufactured in factories that may contain machinery that may have touched peanuts. In the absence of any coherent party-based sexual-harassment policy, you are warned that any hugging/touching/casual flirting/wine-stem fondling/hair tossing/breast gazing/butt grabbing will be deemed actionable at law. All guests must maintain a 5-foot distance from all others at all times (spouses included). Appropriate topics for conversation are: work; sports; light political banter; reality-television shows. Any unapproved conversational topics shall be cleared in advance by the Human Resources department. All dance moves shall be preapproved by the HR department. Seminars on these moves shall be conducted twice daily in the small conference room on the second floor between now and the day of the party. All closets, conference rooms, restrooms, and other possible areas of sexual misconduct are to be padlocked for the duration of the event. Small children are to be chaperoned at all times. Any child found playing or otherwise conducting himself in a childlike manner will be summarily removed from the premises. Should you or your partner feel at any point during the party that you have been sexually harassd, socially discomfited, religiously proselytized, or otherwise made to feel uneasy in any way, a team of HR lawyers will be made available to you immediately. Do not minimize your feelings or wait a few days to see if the bad feeling blows over. Prompt attention to any social discomfort is critical to eradicating it in the workplace. Once again, we wish you and yours a very happy holiday season, and hope to make this year's office party the best ever."

What is Diabetes? From Insulin Resistance to Type 2 Diabetes - How Diabetes Develops

A very interesting article about diabetes. It is a little scary since the premise is that if you do well on low-carb diets you might be prediabetic.

What is Diabetes? From Insulin Resistance to Type 2 Diabetes - How Diabetes Develops: "

# It is worth figuring out whether you are on Diabetes Road. If you are likely to be insulin resistant or prediabetic, there are steps you can take to lower your risk.
# People who respond well to low carb diets often have difficulties processing sugar. This in itself could be a sign that you are on the road to diabetes.
# Take this seriously. This is not something to ignore or be in denial about. Insulin resistance itself is associated with a higher risk for not only diabetes, but certainly heart disease, stroke, and possibly Alzheimer's disease and some cancers. Diabetes has many more complications. The more you can preserve the cells in your pancreas, the better off you will be.
# Different people who are at different points along the road may respond to different amounts of carbohydrate reduction. Reducing high glycemic carbohydrates such as added sugar and refined white grains such as products made with white flour is a good place to start. You can learn more about carbohydrate reduction on this site."

Me and John - home alone

Barbara is off to SLC again this weekend so John and I are batcherloring it again. Had a quiet weekend so far, did a little Christmas shopping for Barbara and Rachel, and then John did some for himself.

This week I am taking a few days off for an early Christmas present for myself, we are getting the bathrooms and laundry room tiled. We have been in the house for 14 years this month and things that seem like they should be brand new are in desperate need of replacement. With the new floors in the bathrooms we are also replacing the toilets. It seems like when we built our house the low flush toilet technology was in it's infancy, and to be blunt things don't always flush away like they should. We only have two working toilets out of four bathrooms at this point, so it will be a great thing to have to four toilets that actually flush.

Next week we are replacing the carpet in the livingroom, halls and master bedroom with hard wood flooring. Should look nice and be more allergy correct also.

Cries of fake baby cause car crash

This was too good.... I have vivid memories of my children and their pretend babies in middle school. Rachel was lucky enough to have twins.

One teenage girl in Pleasanton, Calif., took a school project designed to teach the rigors of childcare a little too seriously, the Associated Press reports today.
The 17-year-old, whose name has not been released, was driving a Mini Cooper 65 miles per hour on the freeway. She'd just picked up her passenger -- an educational baby doll, designed to periodically bawl and wet itself, as well as record how long the student "parent" takes to respond to the infant's needs. When the doll started crying, the startled driver swerved into a guardrail and then slammed into a pickup truck. As police arrived, the girl was trying to comfort the doll. While no one was hurt in the crash, this student might need to take a refresher course of driver's ed; among other lessons, she apparently missed the section on how it's illegal to drive without a license.

Meanwhile, a new study shows that a recent, dramatic decline in teen pregnancy in the U.S. was due to the increased use of contraception, not abstinence. There was no word on the influence of classroom instruction on newborn care.

Tis the Season!

Always amused when I am told the proper way to celebrate the Holidays. Apparently I should be joyful but not too joyful...

Miss Manners on allergies

This one applies to me.

"Dear Miss Manners:

How can I, a person with a number of food allergies, politely ask what is in an appetizer, meal, dessert, etc., in social situations?

I have tried the 'Oh, it looks delicious . . . what's in it?' approach; however, this does not always work. 'Trust me, you'll love it,' says a host eagerly waiting for me to take a nibble and agree.

As an advocate of discretion on the part of guests with food restrictions, Miss Manners has to admire your subtlety. She hates to admit that there is such a thing as being too subtle, but you seem to have achieved it.

The goal is to avoid undue demands on the host as well as medical emergencies, religious and ethical transgressions and, not least, excessive talk about food. Your host could have supposed that you were acting from mere culinary curiosity, which he is not obligated to satisfy.

The succinct response to 'Trust me . . . ' should have been a pleasant but firm 'Trust me, I do need to know. I'm allergic to . . . ' Followed, if necessary, by an equally pleasantly delivered, 'You really don't want me to spoil this lovely party by your having to call the rescue squad.'"

Salon.com - Daou Report

Salon.com - Daou Report:

Muslim congressman more dangerous than 9/11 hijackers? So says right-wing hatemonger Dennis Prager -

"In a recent Townhall article Conservative Talk Show Host and Columnist Dennis Prager states that Congressman-elect Keith Ellison (MN 5) should not be allowed to take the oath of office on the Koran because "he will be doing more damage to the unity of America and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9-11." Besides playing on the racist fears of his readers by comparing taking the oath of office on the Koran to "a racist elected to Congress" being allowed to "choose Hitler's 'Mein Kampf,' the Nazis' Bible," Prager is completely wrong when he states that "all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book."

Video game makers are worse than dope dealers

A local columnist. All I can say is "AMEN BROTHER." I have had a read time trying to convince John that I am not being mean because we haven't been able to find a PS3 or a Nintendo Wii. Not that I was necessarily going to buy him one.

---

COMMENTARY: JOHN KELSO

These video game manufacturers ought to be taken out back and fed to the virtual hogs.

Last Sunday, my daughter, Rachel, 15, asked if we could go to Best Buy so she could check out a video game she loves called "Zelda."

"I just want to hold it," she said.

That sounded to me like a plea from a kid who really wants to own this game. So I suggested to my wife, Kay, and Rachel that we go to the store and just buy "Zelda."

Not that I understand the frenzy here. I'm so low-tech I can limbo under a gigabyte. I don't know "Zelda" from "Alice in Wonderland."

But I figure if a kid wants a $50 game bad enough to just "hold it," I could spring for that.

That's when I was told the game needed a $250 game system, something mysterious called a Wii.

Undaunted, I figured, what the heck, let's go for it. To make a kid happy, I can get out the checkbook.

So on Sunday afternoon, the three of us headed off to the store to buy "Zelda" and Wii, or so I thought.

We hit about half a dozen South Austin stores and couldn't find either the game or the system.

Seems like the miserable creeps at Nintendo, the video company that makes both the game and the system, had sent out just enough Wiis to create what is known as market interest.

When we left the house, Rachel was bubbly and happy. Heck, she even voluntarily cleaned her room, the biggest upset I'd seen since the Red Sox won the World Series.

But by the time we found out the Target on Ben White Boulevard had run out of Wiis, Rachel was in tears. I felt like a bag of ham.

They were out at Best Buy, too. The clerk told us that there was a guy lurking about the floor, offering to sell his Wii for $450 to distraught customers who couldn't find one. He suggested we track him down.

This attempt by the toy manufacturers to turn our children into emotional wrecks began in the '80s with the Cabbage Patch doll.

My idea of Cabbage Patch Doll aerobics would be to drag one behind a truck.

But American grandmothers didn't see it that way. Oh, no, the old birds loved this doll because their grandkids wanted one.

So the long gray line would form outside the store at 6 a.m. Then, when the doors sprung open at 7, these old women would beat each other over the head with their handbags to get their wrinkled fingers on a doll.

This tradition of rioting over polyurethane products continues today with video games. Last week, a man was shot while standing in line for a Sony PlayStation 3.

Sony ought to make an action game out of that: a bunch of cartoon shoppers in line waiting to buy toys while the bad guy on the screen guns them down for points.

Why can't you greedy buzzards at the game companies send out enough of your product to start with so we don't all go crazy? Or is that just too much to ask?

Buffalo News - Christian Coalition loses leader in dispute

God forbid that all the time and money put into this groups activities would actually go towards something Jesus preached about.

Buffalo News - Christian Coalition loses leader in dispute: "The Rev. Joel Hunter, of Northland, A Church Distributed, in Longwood, Fla., said he quit as president-elect of the group founded by evangelist Pat Robertson because he realized he would be unable to broaden the organization's agenda beyond opposing abortion and same-sex marriage.

He hoped to include issues such as easing poverty and saving the environment.

'These are issues that Jesus would want us to care about,' Hunter said."

Just in time for Thanksgiving: Top 10 Grossest Urban Legends Ever Told

The thankful part is that none of them are true.

Here is one example. Interestingly enough, there was a link to McDonalds on the page below.

Woman Finds Fried Chicken Head in Box of McDonald's Wings

(Originally published 12/06/00)

This week's most frequently asked question: "Is the chicken head story true?"

This week's most frequently given answer: Apparently so. Let's see what develops.

What's the chicken head story, you ask? Here's the gist of it, as first reported in the Newport News, Virginia Daily Press on November 30, 2000:

On the night of November 27, Mrs. Katherine Ortega bought a box of fried chicken wings at a local McDonald's restaurant and took it home to her family. While dishing it up to feed her children, Ortega noticed that one of the pieces looked, well ... funny. Examining it more closely, she saw it had eyes and a beak.

It sounds like an urban legend, sure enough, which is why some people have expressed skepticism. The story has earned column inches in newspapers all across the United States -- even finding its way into the esteemed Washington Post -- but who trusts the media to give us the facts anymore?

Plus, parts of the story beg for further explanation. Why did Ortega go straight to a local TV station with her find, while refusing to allow the owner of the accused restaurant to examine it? How did a chicken head find its way into box of wings in the first place?

USDA inspected ... NOT?

"I've never heard of anything like it," a USDA officer told the Daily Press. He was also quick to say he's not dismissing Ortega's claims.

From a poultry processing standpoint, there are two reasons why the incident seems unlikely. One, the very first step of the process -- even before de-feathering -- is beheading. And the heads are always discarded then and there. Two, the presence of unwanted parts ought to have been detected during later steps in the processing: the evisceration, which requires the active participation of a human operator, and the bird-by-bird inspection that's supposed to be conducted by an onsite USDA employee.

If the story is true, one obvious explanation could be pranksterism, a possibility investigators have so far neither accepted nor rejected.

Grist for the rumor mill

Meanwhile, Ortega's story is undergoing another kind of processing as it grinds its way through the rumor mill on the way to becoming an urban legend. As often as not, legends are inspired by real-life events, departing gradually from the facts as the story is told and retold and takes on a life independent of the original inspiration. Once upon a time, when rumors and legends were primarily transmitted by word of mouth, this could take months or years, but in the Internet age it can happen overnight. For example, one of the texts now circulating with a photo of the chicken head fround in Newport News claims the object was discovered "by a woman in her Chicken Nuggets in Portland, Oregon."

Whether it proves to be true, false, or in-between, Ortega's story has the makings of a classic urban legend in the mold of the "Kentucky Fried Rat." Folklorist Gary Alan Fine, who has probably written more about this genre than anyone else, observes that the victims in food contamination stories are always female. Why? Because one underlying theme of such tales is that modern mothers are endangering their families' well-being by forsaking the duties of their traditional role, such as preparing homecooked meals. The discovery of a rat, chicken head or what-have-you in a container of fast food, explains Fine, is punishment, in effect, for exposing one's family to the ravages of "amoral, profit-making corporations."

This moral message was clearly not lost on Mrs. Ortega, who expressed chagrin that her five-year-old could have bitten into the chicken head had she not encountered it first. "I will probably cook at home from now on," she told reporters.

Lesson learned, and duly passed along.

Play Station 3

I have been following all the hype about the new game box from Sony. So has John, he made Barbara go to several stores yesterday looking to see if they had one available or not. Of course they don't, and even if they did, I don't think we are going to pop $500+ for one.

Click here to see a video of folks lining up, some for over 40 hours, to get their hands on a PS3.

Which brought to mind something that happened when John was maybe four or so. We were at Best Buy and he saw a game box he wanted but we were not going to buy for him. So he just picked up the box (like we wouldn't notice) and said 'go home' or something like that.

I am sure that John will continue to want a PS3 regardless, so it will be an interesting several months. Russell on the other hand wants Santa to bring him the much more affordable Nintedo Wii, which will probably be difficult to find.

Time Magazine had the following to say about the PS3.

Look at what you get. The Playstation 3 is expensive: $500 or $600 bucks, depending on which version you buy, plus $60 for each game. (An Xbox 360 only costs $400 max, and Nintendo's Wii — yep, that name, still funny — is only $250.) For that kind of scratch you want the deluxe treatment, and the PS3 simply doesn't deliver it. It's got some good-looking games, but unless you have a top-notch TV, the difference isn't mind-blowing. (And even if you do have a fancy TV, Sony makes you supply your own HDMI cable. Stingy.) And Sony's launch line-up just isn't that interesting. Almost all the PS3's outstanding games — F.E.A.R., Madden NFL '07, Need for Speed: Carbon, Call of Duty 3 — are available on the Xbox 360, and most (all except F.E.A.R.) are out for the Wii, too. There just isn't the leverage there to make buying a PS3 de rigeur.

This American Life available as a Podcast

This is a big deal (at least to me). TAL is a big favorite of mine but I almost never get a chance to hear it. Up until now it is something you have to pay to download to your MP3 player but now they are offering the podcast for free for one one week only after the broadcast.

Will be interesting to see if ITunes automatically deletes the previous weeks episode from my hard drive or not.

Fox isn't the only "fair and balanced" one

Who needs Fox News when you've got CNN's Headline News?

In an interview this week with Minnesota Democrat Keith Ellison, who was just elected as America's first-ever Muslim member of Congress, Headline News' Glenn Beck actually asked the following question:

"OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly. With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, 'Let's cut and run.' And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.' And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way."

Scared Into Being Christian?

I caught these letters to the editor in the latest issue of Newsweek Magazine. A few weeks previous they had run an article about so-called Christian Hell Houses. I am glad to see that I am not the only one to take offense.

I feel sick and sad after reading about Hell Houses in your Nov. 6 issue ("Visions of Hell"). As a small-town pastor, I cannot fathom why religious people, in the sweet name of Jesus, would drown out the truth of God's love with visions of blood and violence to frighten the searching and vulnerable into seeing God as persecutor rather than Savior. So often Christ's message is twisted into an ugly either/or formula based on human terms. Fortunately, God still brings life from death, and our salvation has more to do with his willingness than our worthiness.
Rev. Marie Duquette
Faith Lutheran Church
Baltimore, Ohio

What if next year's hell house dramas include a family-values senator beaten to death by five juveniles he enticed on the Internet, a pro-life fanatic sentenced to eternity in hell for murdering an abortion-clinic doctor and a televangelist who contracts syphilis from a male escort in the front seat of his car? It seems a shame to limit victims of the Devil to those the radical right sees as evil, while ignoring worthy candidates from its own ranks.
Philip D. Gross
Sonora, Calif.

Hell houses are nothing new to me. We had six here in Chattanooga just this year, and I wince in shame every time I hear about them. For every soul they might save, surely many more souls react with disgust and annoyance that whatever vague appeal Jesus Christ's example held has been doused in a "Carrie"-esque bloodbath. I'm left to pray that the one recent example of true Christ-like behavior—the Amish community and its inspirational response to horror and tragedy—is enough to overcome the embarrassments that are Hell Houses.
Billy Faires
Chattanooga, Tenn.

Sioux City Journal: Local GOP chairman blasts own party

It is hard to feel sorry for the Republicans. There were using the so-called conservative Christians for years to get votes. Payback as they say, is a bitch.

Sioux City Journal: Local GOP chairman blasts own party: "A day after the Democratic sweep of the midterm elections, Woodbury County Republican Chairman Steve Salem had harsh words for his own party, lambasting the influence of the conservative Christian right wing.

Salem said he coined a new phase: 'You've heard of IslamaFascists -- I think we now have Christian fascists. What is the definition of a fascist? Not only do they want to beat you, but they want to destroy you in the process.'

Salem said 'if things keep going the way things are going locally and statewide, it is going to be more and more difficult for Republicans to recruit candidates. We have elements of the party who are moral absolutists, who take the approach that if you don't take my position every step of the way, not only will I not support you, but I will destroy you.'"

War Room - Salon.com

War Room - Salon.com:

I'm a majority leader 4 U

Is it proof that the Democrats have their fingers on the pulse of the American people -- or just the strangest thing any man has ever said on the day of the election that made him the next Senate majority leader? From Mark Leibovich's profile of Harry Reid in today's New York Times: "'Britney Spears,' Mr. Reid said, shaking his head. 'She loses a little weight, and now she's getting all cocky about things ... Britney has gotten her mojo back.'"

Is Joe Lieberman still a Democrat? - By Daniel Engber - Slate Magazine

This has been a hot topic in the office today...

Is Joe Lieberman still a Democrat? - By Daniel Engber - Slate Magazine: "What will happen to the Senate if he gets re-elected."

Demon Americans

The Democrats' best slogan: "Bush lost the war"

Leave it to Bill Maher.

College Urging Use Of Euthanasia For Sick Newborns | Health

Not a good week for newborns, in the US or the UK.
College Urging Use Of Euthanasia For Sick Newborns | Health: "Doctors should consider euthanasizing the sickest newborns which can disable healthy families.

The Sunday Times newspaper reported on the proposal made by Britain's Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecology."

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"Emily Post might not approve, but I believe in sending replies to everyone who 'warns' me about something that's actually a hoax. When I get an email telling me Walt Disney wants to make me rich, I believe the person who thoughtlessly passed that email to me should be told three things: first, that it's a hoax; second, that Walt Disney has been dead for 40 years; and, third, that a mind is a terrible thing to waste." -- Al Fasoldt, columnist

So, Does This Go Under Compassionate Conservatism or Christian Values?

No easy answers to this one. We all want better lives for our children of course.

Newborns must now apply for Medicaid
WASHINGTON, Nov. 2 (UPI) -- Under new federal regulations, children born to undocumented mothers in the United States must apply separately for Medicaid.

Under the previous policy, all children whose mothers received emergency Medicaid coverage for the delivery were automatically entitled to insurance for their first year. The new policy would require that parents prove the newborn is a U.S. citizen, The New York Times reported.

All children born in the United States are automatically eligible for citizenship. But doctors and state welfare officials say many undocumented parents would be afraid to submit applications.

"The federal government told us we have no latitude," said Marilyn Wilson of the Tennessee Medicaid Program. "All states must change their policies and practices. We will not be able to cover any services for the newborn until a Medicaid application is filed. That could be days, weeks or months after the child is born."

Federal officials say the Deficit Reduction Act, which included tighter requirements for Medicaid applications, made the change necessary.

Balloon Juice

Interesting blog from a man who went from being a Republican true believer.

Balloon Juice: "I don’t know when things went south with this party (literally and figuratively- and I am sure commenters here will tell me the party has always been this bad- I disagree with that, and so do others), but for me, Terri Schiavo was the real eye-opener. Sure, the Prescription Drug Plan was hideous and still gets my blood pressure pumping, and the awful bankruptcy bill was equally bad, and there were other things that should have clued me in, but really, it was Schiavo that made me realize this party was not as advertized. And it is frustrating as hell.

What makes this even more frustrating is that not only do I feel like I have been duped, but I established a lot of friends in the right wing of the blogging community- and now I read their pages and I can’t believe what I am reading, even though I know that five years ago I probably would have been saying the same or similar things. I know many of them as people- and not just GOP parrots- having spent time working on collaborative projects with them, serving on the editorial board at Red State, appearing on radio shows with them- you name it. I have, at one point in time, defended many of them from what I perceived to be unfair attacks. So I know that by and large they are not bad people (Dan Riehl is an unmitigated asshole, however). Yet I read their pages now, and through my eyes,"

Mainframes making a comeback

Good news for me since I am a mainframe dinasor.

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- Cheap little servers handle so much of the Internet's dirty work that giant computers known as mainframes, which debuted 50 years ago and often cost more than $1 million, are supposed to be passe.

When Hoplon Infotainment, a startup video game company in Brazil, let it be known that it uses a mainframe to operate its signature online game, "People would actually take a step back and say, 'What? Did I hear correctly?"' said Tarquinio Teles, Hoplon's CEO.

Yet mainframes are inspiring new ways of doing things at organizations like Hoplon. The trend is driven by and anxiously watched at IBM Corp., which makes the vast majority of the world's remaining mainframes and continues to be hugely reliant on them.

After dropping nearly 8 percent in 2005, IBM's mainframe revenue is up 10 percent this year. That includes a 25 percent gain in the most recent quarter.

Mainframes were IBM's fastest-growing hardware segment after the microchip division, which is enjoying a nice ride making microprocessors for the top three video game consoles.

IBM does not release precise figures, but analysts estimate mainframe revenue at roughly $2.3 billion in the first nine months of 2006. While that is a small chunk of IBM's overall sales of $65 billion so far this year, mainframe revenue is especially precious because the machines drive huge software and maintenance deals, making them IBM's most profitable line of hardware.

Of course, the huge third-quarter boost is unlikely to be sustained. IBM is benefiting from having released two new mainframes in the past year, and sales eventually should taper until an upgrade comes, at least a year from now.

Such ups and downs are typical: Unisys Corp., a much smaller vendor, has seen mainframe sales drop this year, but spokesman Brian Daly said the numbers strengthened in the third quarter with the release of a new model.

Still, for IBM to be having success with mainframes at all is somewhat surprising. Because if you were to break modern computing history into its simplest terms, it would go something like this: There was the centralized-mainframe era, and then there was the distributed-computing era. And the former ended a while ago.

Mainframes emerged in the 1950s as room-sized hubs that did it all. They crunched numbers, administered transactions, ran simulations and stored data.

By the 1980s and '90s, however, information technology was flourishing with flexible and smaller pieces of hardware that took on traditional mainframe duties.

Cheaper server computers could calculate stuff and serve up Web pages. New communications gear ferried information around networks. Separate storage machines made more efficient use of memory. Millions of desktop computers flowered.

Sun Microsystems Inc., a leading maker of servers, denigrated mainframes as "dinosaurs," prompting IBM to call its next mainframe line the "T-Rex."

As mainframes ceased to be the center of gravity, they mainly lived on in government agencies, banks or complex networks like airline travel systems.

Many such places needed mainframes' heavy-duty security and processing ability, but others were locked into the specialized programs they had written in mainframes' unique language.

"Where the mainframe still has a long-term home is running long-term code," said John Parker, chief information officer for A.G. Edwards & Sons Inc., a financial services firm that recently dropped its French-made mainframe but still runs key functions on a mainframe operated by a third-party hosting service. "Every industry has it, in my experience."

Since inertia is not growth, the market for mainframes and servers costing more than $500,000 dropped from $19 billion in 2000 to less than $12 billion last year, according to analysts at IDC.

One huge challenge has been the machines' old-school reputation. Programming mainframes still involves typing code on a green screen, much like early versions of DOS, the operating system that dominated PCs before the visual "windows" approach.

To try to encourage younger software developers to write programs for the machines, IBM recently announced a $100 million effort to simplify and modernize mainframe programming. Earlier it began encouraging customers to run Linux, Java and other low-intensity software on mainframes, in hopes of keeping the machines from falling deeper into specialized niches.

IBM also is trying to get creative in luring customers. In April it launched a "business-class" mainframe that costs $100,000 and up, targeted at smaller companies that want mainframes' high level of security and reliability.

One key pitch is that mainframes can do so many tasks at once that they are more energy efficient and take up less space than a comparable cluster of smaller servers.

"For every application, many times it takes five servers in a distributed environment," said Jim Stallings, who runs IBM's mainframe division. "Many customers are saying, 'I can't deal with the complexity."'

The University of Toronto recently bought a business-class mainframe to manage enrollment and other administrative functions. Eugene Siciunas, director of computing services, said the main attraction was flexible pricing.

The university saved money upfront by selecting a mainframe that runs at less than top capacity. Then on days when computing loads are heavier, the school can buy a short-term boost of extra processing power. Network managers call IBM, which remotely tunes the mainframe to deliver better performance.

Hoplon, the Brazilian company, is using a mainframe's processing might to build a complex "massively multiplayer" online game. But rather than shelling out precious startup capital to own a mainframe, Hoplon is remotely accessing one stashed in an IBM data center in Brazil. The same machine manages a retirement fund for IBM's Brazilian employees and handles operations for a building-tools manufacturer.

Charles King, an analyst with Pund-IT Inc., said IBM has had to adopt such sales methods to "maintain the platform's viability."

"The company has done a good job of continuing to gain leverage out of the mainframe," King said. "For a platform that a lot of folks have claimed is essentially moribund or headed into a very dark, bad future, it's got remarkable legs."

PATS BROTHER

Saw this on Rosie O'Donnell's blog. Remember when she was nice and uncontroversial? I like her a lot better now.

It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started. Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated. Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated. Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated. Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated. Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe. Somehow torture is tolerated. Somehow lying is tolerated. Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense. Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world. Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated. Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,

Kevin Tillman

Halloween Joke

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,

when behind him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER...

FASTER...

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)

The coffin stops

Joke - not for the easily offended

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.

"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"

And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And the husband began --

"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well-dressed and somewhat dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those shoes you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."

The husband took a quick breath and continued! - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"

How would Jesus vote?

Tennessee Democrat Harold Ford Jr. goes after the GOP's faithful base in the state with the most white evangelicals in the nation. Polls show his campaign is resonating in the pews.
By Michael Scherer
Oct. 26, 2006 Pastor Chris Stephens runs his church services like a rock show. Colored strobes dance across the stage, electric guitar solos punctuate the hymns, and his sermons are filled with exhortations like, "We need a God explosion." The roughly 2,000 worshipers who belong to Faith Promise Church know to expect a blunt-talking believer when they come to Sunday services, a man unafraid to take a stand for Jesus.
So it was no surprise two years ago when Stephens devoted a sermon before the presidential election to a discussion of God's hopes for the ballot box. "If you are a Democrat or a Republican before you are a Christ-ocrat, you are an idol worshiper," he told his congregation. As he explained it, God cared most about just a few core issues in 2004: ending abortion, opposing gay marriage, appointing conservative judges and ensuring the freedom to pray in the public square. Christian voters, he told his congregation, ignore these issues at their own peril. "If you reject Christ, if you have never been born again, you are not going to heaven," he said at the end of the sermon.
Pastor Stephens' message did not endorse any candidate or party, but it clearly pushed a platform more closely associated with Republicans than with Democrats. And versions of that message were repeated at born-again churches across the Bible Belt state of Tennessee, along with Sunday morning voter registration pleas. The effect was spectacular. Among the 51 percent of registered voters who identified as white evangelical Christians in exit polls, the highest percentage of any state in the nation, President Bush won by a margin of 3-to-1, allowing him to carry Tennessee by 14 points.

But visit Stephens this year, and he will freely admit that many of Tennessee's evangelical voters are more ambivalent about voting for Republicans in this election. The biggest reason, he believes, is the deteriorating situation in Iraq. "So many people are angry at the president," he said last Sunday, after inviting this reporter into his office after services. Polls nationwide have shown that evangelical support for Republicans is slipping. But in Tennessee a second big reason is the public message of Rep. Harold Ford Jr., the Democratic candidate for Senate, who hopes to become the first black senator from the South since Reconstruction by appealing to religious voters. "The church advertising has been brilliant," Stephens said. "He presents himself very well."
Stephens was referring to a 30-second television spot that shows Ford strolling through the pews of his childhood church. "Here, I learned the difference between right and wrong," Ford tells the camera, explaining that he is glad his family forced him to worship as a child. "If advertising didn't work, Madison Avenue wouldn't be spending billions of dollars," Stephens said of the ad. "And those folks sitting there listening to Harold Ford sit in the pew and talk about his grandmother taking him to church and all that, I think it can be effective for him."
The church spot is just one part of a campaign by Ford to make his faith a central issue in the campaign, breaking with recent Democratic tradition in the hopes of helping to tip the balance of power in the Senate. On the campaign trail, Ford portrays himself as a moderate, saying he opposes the politics of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, endorses the House Republican immigration plan, and supports a state ban on gay marriage. To prove his point, Ford's get-out-the-vote rallies often double as prayer meetings. During a recent debate with his Republican opponent, former Chattanooga Mayor Bob Corker, Ford repeatedly asked state residents to give him their prayers along with their votes. On his Web site, under the banner "My Faith Is My Guide," Ford writes that he is running for Senate "to put my faith and beliefs into action."
There are signs that Ford's decision to wear his religion on his sleeve is having an effect. At the end of September, a statewide poll showed that just 47 percent of white evangelicals supported Bob Corker, Ford's Republican opponent, while 28 percent supported Ford and 25 percent were undecided. The poll results broke a long-standing maxim of state politics: Churchgoing whites reflexively side with the Republicans by overwhelming margins. "In the Senate race that pattern is completely gone," said Ken Blake, who oversaw the poll for Middle Tennessee State University. According to Blake, Ford's use of faith has "muddied the waters" for white evangelicals. "It makes them not quite so sure that he is the bad guy and Corker is the good guy." Among all of the state's likely voters, numerous recent polls show that the race remains a statistical dead heat.
Outside the University of Tennessee football game on Saturday, Ford had no problem explaining the inroads he appears to be making among evangelical voters compared to 2004, when he worked on the campaign of Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, who lost the state by double digits. "Kerry and I are very different people," Ford said, as he hurried toward the gates of Neyland Stadium, having arrived at the game against the University of Alabama deep into the second quarter. "I serve a big God, he gives me strength every day, and I go to work. I am not that smart. I don't try to outsmart him. I just go to work every day."
Just hours earlier, Ford's opponent, Corker, had taken direct aim at those bona fides as he worked the crowd of thousands who had gathered in orange T-shirts and parkas to tailgate the game. In the mountainous eastern end of Tennessee, football games at Neyland Stadium have an importance that rivals Sunday church, and come with just as many unique rituals. Grown men dressed in incandescent orange will wait for hours in the hopes of bumping chests with University of Tennessee players as they make their way into the stadium, which has enough seats for 104,000 spectators, or about 60 percent of Knoxville's population. For statewide political candidates, it is not an occasion that can be missed. Both Corker and Ford camps came equipped with signs and stickers. Ford's supporters gave out free chili. Corker's offered bottles of water and candy.
"I am more fully representative of Tennessean values," Corker claimed, as he made his way through the orange-clad masses, with Fred Thompson, the former Tennessee senator and television actor. "I mean, we are so different on those issues. I mean, it is like worlds apart." A short man with a frenetic need to shake hands, Corker came to politics after making millions in construction and real estate, and has earned the support of many in the business elite and the state party establishment. But along the way he has struggled to shore up the support of the Republican evangelical base, having burned many bridges over his past support for abortion. He is uniquely vulnerable to Ford's attempts to peel off religious voters. "You come across folks who are disenchanted, who feel like they have lost their voice because their candidate wasn't elected," explained Jennifer Little, the first vice chairman of the Hamblen County Republican Party, who is working for Corker's victory. She was referring to the bad blood that remains from Corker's hotly contested Republican primary, in which he beat out two other candidates with superior credentials among the pro-life community, Ed Bryant and Van Hilleary.
In fact, there are clear signs of strife within the state's evangelical base. Tennessee Right to Life, the state's largest pro-life lobby, has declined to endorse Corker because in 1994 he refused to say life begins at conception and in 1995 he opposed a state budget amendment that would have limited state funding for abortions. "That energy certainly is not there for Mr. Corker," said Brian Harris, the organization's president. "I think there is a broad sense that Republicans have squandered the opportunity." But Harris does not stop there. When asked if he is concerned about a Democratic Senate possibly blocking pro-life Supreme Court justices, he said there are risks that the state group will take to stand up for its principles. "I think there could be something gained for the pro-life movement, even if the Republicans have to lose a majority in the House or the Senate," Harris continued. "I think there is going to have to be a lot of work after the election to see if the Reagan coalition can be put back together in Tennessee."
Corker blames his lag in the polls among churchgoers less on his own record than on pressures from outside the state. "The national climate, no doubt, is affecting a lot of things," Corker said, as he walked the crowd. "I would be remiss not to acknowledge that." There is some evidence to back him up. A Newsweek poll last week found that the GOP's religious base is badly eroding outside of Tennessee as well, amid concerns about Iraq and the recent Republican page scandal. Only 60 percent of white evangelicals said they planned to support Republican candidates, down from 74 percent nationwide who supported Bush in 2004. Other national polls by the Pew Research Center have tracked steep declines in evangelical support for Republicans ever since Hurricane Katrina.
The GOP seems to believe that Ford's appeal to its most reliable voters is working. In recent days, the Republican National Committee has attempted to reverse the troubling polls in Tennessee with a television ad that both attacks Ford's religious credentials and invokes that old standby of American politics, racial fear. The ad attempts to tie Ford to pornographers and Playboy playmates based on rather thin circumstantial evidence. The ad also plays on racial prejudices by showing a fictional white woman asking Ford, a bachelor, to call her for a date. The tactic has earned the condemnation of both the NAACP and Corker himself, who claimed he was unable to convince the party to take it down. (An earlier ad by the National Republican Senatorial Committee, called "What Kind," attacks Ford over a soundtrack of funk music for a number of votes in Congress.)
The RNC has now announced it will no longer air the Playboy spot, but the message has already sunk in. Ford has been forced to admit attending a 2005 Super Bowl party sponsored by Playboy. At Neyland Stadium, as they waited for their candidate to arrive at the Tennessee game, Ford supporters were taunted by apparently inebriated fans in orange who shouted, "Hugh Hefner and Harold Ford," and "Ford for senator? How about Ford for Playboy?"
For his part, pastor Stephens says he is still skeptical of Ford's message, even as he admires his style. As a policy, Stephens does not endorse any particular candidate, or turn away those parishioners who support Democrats. But he says he has heard from churchgoers about concerns over Ford's record on abortion, which includes several votes against banning so-called partial-birth abortion, a position Ford says he has since abandoned. He also worries that even a conservative Democrat would find himself unable to buck his party on crucial issues in such a polarized political climate. "A senator can't vote his conscience. He's got to vote party line," Stephens said. "That's what is going to hurt Harold Ford Jr."
But those concerns have not stopped Stephens and others from paying attention to Ford's religious message. Blake, the Tennessee pollster, points to recent surveys that describe the large value evangelical voters place on politicians who simply speak about their faith. "What evangelicals really want out of a political leader, in addition to policy, is a leader who will be bold about their faith," he said. In February of 2005, a statewide poll of white evangelicals found that 54 percent believed Bush could increase belief in God around the country, compared to just 37 percent who thought he could end prayer in public schools or 31 percent who believed he could outlaw abortion.
Even if Ford does not win a majority of Tennessee's white evangelical vote in two weeks, he will at least have proved that churchgoing voters are willing to look again at Democratic candidates who are proud of their Christian values, a tidal-wave shift from 2004. "Jesus, he doesn't ride a donkey, nor does he ride an elephant," Stephens explained, adding that he will probably not devote an entire sermon this year to the election. "He just doesn't." For the moment, that may be all Harold Ford Jr. needs to hear.

Cute and Clever Song from Australia

From a dear friend:

This is worth a watch
This clever piece originated in Australia. It's also very informative.

A good pick-me-up:

http://dingo.care-mail.com/cards/flash/5409/galaxy.swf

Rare Gorilla Problem

A small zoo in Oklahoma had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the chil'drun raised as Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

4. "And last of all", Bobby Lee stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00

Brain Study Sheds Light on Autism - Forbes.com

More about autism. So much research, there is always hope.
Brain Study Sheds Light on Autism - Forbes.com: "MONDAY, Oct. 16 (HealthDay News) -- In adults with autism, various brain regions do not communicate as efficiently with one another as they do in normal people, U.S. researchers report.

Researchers used high-resolution electroencephalography (EEG) to examine the brains of 36 adults, ages 19 to 38. Half the study volunteers had autism. The researchers focused on connections in the cerebral cortex, the part of the brain that deals with higher cognitive processes.

The study found that the volunteers with autism had abnormalities, including both over- and under-connectivity between neurons in different parts of the cortex.

'Our findings indicate adults with autism show differences in coordinated neural activity, which implies poor internal communication between the parts of the brain,' study leader and postdoctoral researcher Michael Murias said in a prepared statement.

These abnormal brain patterns are a potential biomarker of autism and may help define the major characteristics of the disorder, Murias said. It may also be possible to use EEG to detect autism in young children, the researchers said. Early detection is crucial in providing interventions for the disorder.

The findings were presented Saturday at the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience, in Atlanta.

More information

The U.S. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke has more about autism."

Progress

Barbara got a phone call from a family friend from church who is a real champion for John. She is also a pediatrician so she has been professionally very handy also. She knows about John's new treatment, she came by a few days ago and checked out his new medications.

Apparently they have made John a part of their regular family prayer. The youngest child asked after prayer one night how long they were going to be praying for John. She didn't know how long it would be before we saw results so she called to ask. I was really touched that they would include him in their prayers. Very considerate people.

I guess I have become so used to not getting any support from my ward that this kind of took me by surprise. Very grateful.

Many years ago when John first went through auditory training we asked the bishopric if we could be included in the ward's monthly fast and we were turned down. I guess it is stupid to nurse a grudge that long. For whatever reason the bishop at the time left it up to one of his strange counselors.

Sunday

A couple of things. First I have been on a steroid dose pack for the last few days and my sciatic nerve isn't bothering me quite so much, but I have been eating like there is no tomorrow.

Second, I have been listening to what John says much more attentively and have noticed that he is putting words together a little differently. Today at Frys he said "Baby is crying" instead of his usual "Baby cries."


This the stuff that drives me nuts. I don't know if things are changing for John or if I am just trying to see things that aren't there. I have to keep remembering "One day at a time" to get through this.

In years past I would have probably asked people to pray that this work or would suggest he get a priesthood blessing from his general authority uncle. I guess with experience we have lowered expectations. It is either going to work or it isn't.

Truthdig - Reports - Molly Ivins: Dear Leaders

I have been reading Molly for more years than I care to remember. She had GW figured out years ago.

Truthdig - Reports - Molly Ivins: Dear Leaders: "Always a top diplomat. But I warn you, when Bush makes reference of this, as in “my gut tells me,” we are in big trouble. By any measure, North Korea continued to be more dangerous than Iraq.
I don’t see how this mess can be blamed on anyone but Bush, but I notice that a few Republicans have dragged out the shade of Bill Clinton because he tried to deal with North Korea. I would have thought there wasn’t much water left in that bogeyman, but I guess he is the straw man for all seasons among Republicans. Why doesn’t someone on Fox News ask him about it?
Meanwhile, our fiendishly clever president has dragged his daddy’s old family consigliore, James Baker, out of retirement to think of something to do about Iraq. A three-part partition is mentioned. History Professor Juan Cole on his blog explains why that’s a disaster, but I suspect that’s where the poor Iraqis end up anyway, followed by war with Turkey and Saudi Arabia. "

War Room - Salon.com

I guess I should be surprised but I am not. Church for fun and profit. And votes apparently.
War Room - Salon.com: "If the Republicans were losing the religious right already, this certainly isn't going to help: David Kuo, who worked as second in command in George W. Bush's Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, is out with a new book in which he says that Bush administration officials shined on the faithful for political gain.

As 'Countdown' producer Jonathan Larsen reports, Kuo says that top evangelical leaders were known as 'nuts' in Karl Rove's office. 'National Christian leaders received hugs and smiles in person and then were dismissed behind their backs and described as 'ridiculous,' 'out of control,' and just plain 'goofy,'' Kuo writes.

Goofy, but useful. Kuo says that RNC chairman Ken Mehlman, who was then Bush's political director, used the Office of Faith-Based Initiatives to sponsor 'nonpartisan' events that were, in fact, designed to motivate religious voters in close congressional races. 'Ken loved the idea and gave us our marching orders,' Kuo writes."

The all-time worst president | Salon.com

The all-time worst president | Salon.com:

Look around today and you will find the Viking descendants, a calm and stoical and somewhat formal people, by and large, not given to extremes of fashion or chanting "We're Number One" or writing memoirs that hang out the family underwear. Walter Mondale is pretty much the prototype. He lost the presidency by one of the biggest landslides in history to an aging actor whose grip on reality, never firm to begin with, was becoming hallucinatory. Mr. Reagan was sort of the Columbus of our time, a better P.R. man than sailor, but so be it. Mr. Mondale is a buoyant man with a sense of humor who enjoys his life in Minnesota, where people are happy to see him, and when you do, you see that losing is far from the worst thing that can happen to a man. Far from it.

What's worse is the likely fate of the Current Occupant, who is contending with Pierce, Buchanan and Warren G. Harding for the title of All-Time Worst President. He's got a good shot at the title if only because he's had so much more to be worst with. (Any young persons who have been inspired by Mr. Bush to take up public service should be watched very closely.)

I propose that we change Columbus Day to Bush Day, a cautionary holiday, like Halloween, a day to meditate on the hazards of ambition. We could observe it by going through the basement and garage and throwing out stuff we don't want or need. Also by not mortgaging the house to pay for a vacation, and not yelling at the neighbors, and not assuming that the law is for other people. A day to honor kindness, industriousness and modesty