Little boxes | Salon.com

Garrison Keillor hits the nail on the head once again. Italics below are mine.

Little boxes | Salon.com: "The Current Occupant, trying to escape the dreaded term Moderate Republican, has done violence to the Constitution and flown in the face of reality. He invades a country and allows neocon ideologues to play at colonialism until the country has descended into chaos and thereby costs the lives of young Americans who had other plans than to be blown up in a war whose purpose now is forgotten. And then he wraps himself in Old Glory and dares you to say otherwise. We are now three-quarters of the way through the Attention Deficit Administration and who knows what dark surprises remain?"

More old folks humor --- so funny yet real.

More from my dad

*Distraught Senior*

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

*Walking Recovery*

From my dad....

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.

After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time.

"But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"

Imam's prayer in Senate makes one senator a no-show

This is why I never make fun of Utah politicians. Some of ours here in Texas are just unbelievably ignorant.

Nothing is more routine on the floor of the Texas Senate than the morning prayer. Unless the prayer is delivered during Passover, four days before Easter, by a Muslim cleric whose background is questioned by conservative radio talk show hosts, one of whom happens to be a senator.

The senator, Dan Patrick, who has from his first day in office challenged tradition, may have become the first senator ever to leave the floor in protest of the prayer. The invocation itself was a first for the the Senate, delivered by Imam Yusuf Kavakci, with the Dallas Central Mosque.

Before he could stand before the Senate, Kavakci faced accusations by conservative groups such as the Texas Eagle Forum, suggesting that he was a member of a radical Muslim religious sect, a charge he has denied.

Here I Am With President Romney

Reason I blog... Too funny

Parody of Allan Sherman's "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" (itself a parody of Ponchielli's "Dance of the Hours")

Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

http://www.spaff.com/poesy/romney.html

Fred Thompson's First Campaign Ad?

I am not even that big of a fan of his character on Law and Order, but I did like this video.

Great definition - SPASM child

Simply Pray And Send Money - GARRISON KEILLOR

Trunk Monkey

No car should be without one?

Thank you for signing Oppose Vice President Dick Cheney's BYU Commencement Speech

Couldn't help myself. I guess Darth Vader wasn't available.

BYU commencement speaker

So happy that none of my kids is graduating from BYU this year.  I am surprised they didn't have Mitt Romney speak instead.

"An invitation for Vice President Cheney to speak at BYU's April commencement was extended by members of the First Presidency of the LDS Church in their capacities as chair and vice chairs of the BYU Board of Trustees," Jenkins said.

BYU NewsNet - Cheney Visit Confirmed

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Vanity Fair: The Night of the Generals

Amazing article in the current issue of Vanity Fair.

The six retired generals who stepped forward last spring to publicly attack Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's handling of the Iraq war had to overcome a culture of reticence based on civilian control of the military. But while each man acted separately, all shared one experience: a growing outrage over the administration's incompetence, leading some of the nation's finest soldiers to risk their reputations and cross a time-honored line.

The Night of the Generals: Politics & Power: vanityfair.com

I always figured that 9/11 was just an excuse for the Bush administration to declare war on Iraq.  The article talks about General John Batiste, former commander of the First Infantry
Division

From March 2001 to June 2002, Batiste worked alongside Wolfowitz. ("Unflappable," Wolfowitz later called him.) In that position, he saw the Iraq war take shape even before September 11, then saw the plan solidify. He was there that Saturday morning in early 2002, for instance, when Rumsfeld, unhappy with the proposed troop numbers, sent General Tommy Franks, the CentCom commander, packing back to Tampa with orders to come up with a way to do the war on the cheap. Batiste says he had doubts from the outset, but though he had Wolfowitz's ear daily, he didn't bend it; someone else, he thought, surely would. "I didn't always agree with his thinking," he says, "but you have a certain amount of trust that your government and its apparatus will look at all sides of something before they go to war."

.

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Have a Messy Desk? Congrats, You're More Productive

Sponsored by publisher Little, Brown and Co., the competition promoted "A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder," by Eric Abrahamson and David Freedman, a new book that argues neatness is overrated, costs money, wastes time and quashes creativity."We think that being more organized and ordered and neat is a good thing and it turns out, that's not always the case," said Freedman."Most of us are messy, and most of us are messy at a level that works very, very well for us," he said in an interview. "In most cases, if we got a lot neater and more organized, we would be less effective."

Have a Messy Desk? Congrats, You're More Productive - News and Analysis by PC Magazine

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From my dad: *Murphy's Laws on Computers*

• As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.
• Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one.
• You can't win them all, but you sure can lose them all.
• The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.
• There are only two kinds of computer users: Those whose hard disks have crashed, and those whose hard disks haven't crashed yet.
• Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it. If you fiddle with something long enough, you'll break it.
  

Office workers more prone to blood clots

Incentive to get off my butt and walk around during the day.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Office workers glued to computer screens are at greater risk of deadly blood clots forming in their legs than long-distance air travelers, the author of a New Zealand study on thrombosis said Monday.ADVERTISEMENTThe study found that 34 per cent of patients admitted to hospital with blood clots had been seated at work for long periods, its leader, Prof. Richard Beasley of New Zealand's privately funded Medical Research Institute, told The Associated Press.

Office workers more prone to blood clots - Yahoo! News

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My aching back, part 2

I now have two back specialists, one for my lower back and one for my neck and upper back.

My lower back doctor indicated that I have:

• Spondylolisthesis
  
  The skeletal anatomy involved in spondylolisthesis is complex but, in brief, it works like this: Each vertebra in the spine has a thick anterior body (called the centrum). A vertebral (or neural) arch on the surface of the centrum encloses a "vertebral foramen," which the spinal cord passes through. On each side of the neural arch on each vertebra, a pair of "superior articulating processes" projects up, and pair of "inferior articulating processes" projects down, supplying support and flexibility.
  
  Spondylolysis is the degeneration or deficient development of these articulating parts of the vertebra. It can range from a serious condition to a mild one.
  
  Spondylolysis may permit forward slippage of a vertebra onto the next vertebra below it, producing a spondylolisthesis. Spondylolysis occurs in 6% of the population, but only in people who can stand upright and walk. Spondylolysis is more common among athletes active in sports that require repetitive hyperextension, such as diving, weight lifting, wrestling and gymnastics.
  
  Children and teens with this condition may have no symptoms, though symptoms often develop during the preadolescent growth spurt. The magnitude of symptoms does not always correlate with the severity of the slipped vertebra. Many people with this condition don't require treatment. Spondylolysis or low-grade spondylolisthesis may be managed conservatively without surgery. However, young ("skeletally immature") people with more than 30 to 50% slippage are at increased risk for progression and are candidates for spinal fusion without delay. For other patients, treatment can vary from surgery to physical therapy to modification of activities.
  
  Spondylolisthesis has an emotional impact because pain can limit function and impair quality of life. Education is important in giving the patient a sense of control and the information necessary to make informed treatment decisions.
  
  
• neurogenic claudication
  
  Spinal claudication is pain in the buttocks and legs brought on by exercise with the back in an extended position.
  
  Spinal claudication may be mistaken for:
  
  * intermittent claudication due to arterial disease, or
  * typical lumbar disc prolapse
  
  It is relieved by sitting, bending forward or lying down.
  
  
• multilevel disc degeneration
  
  Description of Degenerative Disc Disease
  
  DDD can affect any part of the spine, although common sites are the lumbar (lower back) and cervical (neck) spine; thoracic DDD is very uncommon.
  
  Radiographic (x-ray) findings of DDD are a narrower disc space and some osteophyte (bony outgrowth of spur) formation. As people age, these changes tend to show up on the radiographs of most men and women. However, the first imaging modality to detect changes of DDD is MRI (magnetic resonance imaging), even before plain radiographs. Loss of water content (hydration) in the invertebral disc is an early finding, which is followed by narrowing of the disc space. People in the 20?s and 30?s may already have changes to their discs but no clinical symptoms. As the aging processes continues, the prevalence of DDD increases.
  
  In the early phases of DDD, spontaneous or post-traumatic tears, degeneration, fibrosis, and collapse of the disc may lead to failure of mechanical function. This is associated with low back pain and possible leg pain if there is nerve root impingement (radiculopathy).
  
  As DDD progresses, there is ligamentous buckling and osteophyte development which can cause narrowing of the space for the spinal cord and nerve roots. Lumbar spinal stenosis is the narrowing of the neural canal and foramina to an extent that results in compression of the lumbosacral nerve roots or cauda equina. Acquired lumbar stenosis is caused primarily be degenerative disease of the spine. However, a congenitally narrow or small spinal canal is a common finding; when present, it requires less disc degeneration, smaller disc herniation, or osteophytes to cause symptoms.
  

How old are you? History Exam

History Exam...
If you don't score very well blame it on being too young !! It is a
Win - win situation.

This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they Really remember about what went on in their life. Get paper and pencil and Number from 1 to 20. Write the letter of each answer and score at the end. Then, best of all, before you pass this test on, put your score in the Subject line!

1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches Located?
A. On the floor shift knob
B. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
C. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what Was it used?
A. Capture lightning bugs
B. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
C. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
A. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
B. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
C. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, Expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
A. Blackjack
B. Gin
C. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings When none were available due to rationing during W.W.II
A. Suntan
B. Leg painting
C. Wearing slacks
6. What post war car turned automotive design on its ear when you Couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
A. Studebaker
B. Nash Metro
C. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
A. Strips of dried peanut butter
B. Chocolate licorice bars
C. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?
A. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
B. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
C. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to Your shoes?
A. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
B. Woven straps that crossed the foot
C. Long pieces of twine

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
A. Consider all the facts
B. Ask Mom
C. Eeny-meeny-miney-MO

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's?
A. Smallpox
B. AIDS
C. Polio

12. I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey"
A. SUV
B. Taxi
C. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
A. Old Blue
B. Paint
C. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
A. Part of the game of hide and seek
B. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores
C. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
A. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
B. Princess Sacajawea
C. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests Were handed out in school?
a. immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high
B. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
C. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with Purchases ?
A. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like Bubble gum
B. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household Items
C. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos

18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
A. Meatballs
B. Dames
C. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
A. The Ink Spots
B. The Supremes
C. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco ?
A. Tony Bennett
B. Xavier Cugat
C. George Gershwin

------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
ANSWERS

1. B) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe , took till the late '60's to catch on.

2. B) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. C) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the Bottle top.

4. A) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8 a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today..

SCORING

17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!

12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting there.

0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.

Medieval Helpdesk

I can relate to this.

Spinal stenosis

After spending over an hour in an MRI earlier this week I have been diagonsed with Cervical Spinal Stenosis (I had the doctor write it down so I would remember before I got to the car). If is isn't one thing, it is another. If I start to lose function in my hands then I will probably have to look to some surgery since I really do rely on my ability to type.

Spinal stenosis is a narrowing of the spinal canal, which places pressure on the spinal cord. If the stenosis is located on the lower part of the spinal cord it is called lumbar spinal stenosis. Stenosis in the upper part of the spinal cord is called cervical spinal stenosis. While spinal stenosis can be found in any part of the spine, the lumbar and cervical areas are the most commonly affected.

What Causes Spinal Stenosis?

Some patients are born with this narrowing, but most often spinal stenosis is seen in patients over the age of 50. In these patients, stenosis is the gradual result of aging and “wear and tear” on the spine during everyday activities. There most likely is a genetic predisposition to this since only a minority of individuals develops advanced symptomatic changes. As people age, the ligaments of the spine can thicken and harden (called calcification). Bones and joints may also enlarge, and bone spurs (called osteophytes) may form. Bulging or herniated discs are also common. Spondylolisthesis (the slipping of one vertebra onto another) also occurs and leads to compression. When these conditions occur in the spinal area, they can cause the spinal canal to narrow, creating pressure on the spinal nerve.

Symptoms of Stenosis

The narrowing of the spinal canal itself does not usually cause any symptoms. It is when inflammation of the nerves occurs at the level of increased pressure that patients begin to experience problems. Patients with lumbar spinal stenosis may feel pain, weakness, or numbness in the legs, calves or buttocks. In the lumbar spine, symptoms often increase when walking short distances and decrease when the patient sits, bends forward or lies down. Cervical spinal stenosis may cause similar symptoms in the shoulders, arms, and legs; hand clumsiness and gait and balance disturbances can also occur. In some patients the pain starts in the legs and moves upward to the buttocks; in other patients the pain begins higher in the body and moves downward. This is referred to as a “sensory march”. The pain may radiate like sciatica or may be a cramping pain. In severe cases, the pain can be constant. Severe cases of stenosis can also cause bladder and bowel problems, but this rarely occurs. Also paraplegia or significant loss of function also rarely, if ever, occurs.

Atkins diet in the news

I have been on Atkins for the last 3 1/2 years and have been able to keep much of the weight I have lost off.  As the article points out though, it is no silver bullet.  Beats a silver buffet though.

The low-carb, high-fat Atkins diet gets high marks in one of the biggest, longest head-to-head studies of popular weight-loss plans, beating the Zone, the Ornish diet and even U.S. guidelines. Even so, critics say the results show how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off.

Atkins beats other diet plans in study - Yahoo! News

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NEW WORDS FOR 2007

This is why I have a blog. Thanks to my good friend Beverly M.

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!!

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard .

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Well, what better endorsement could you ask for?

March 3, 2007 | WASHINGTON -- The Ann Coulter presidential primary ended on Friday, before an oversold crowd of Republican college kids and conservative activists in a basement hotel conference room. She had just finished doing her incendiary stand-up act, joking that Al Gore was fat ("Did Al Gore actually swallow Michael Moore?"), that Bill Clinton was the first black president ("half white, half trash") and that John Edwards was a "faggot."Then a question came from the audience. What did she think of Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor now running for president? "I think he is probably our best candidate," she said, with a sudden lack of sarcasm, prompting a round of applause from the room. "I think we have to be serious about this."

The Republican candidates -- and Ann Coulter -- try out their acts | Salon News

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Gallup poll on feelings about mormon church

I thought this was an interesting poll for a lot of reasons. Here are some of the key findings from the poll. I was surprised to find that those who are most like active members of the church are those who have the most negative opinions of the church (i.e. conservative church going Republican Protestants).

• Americans who are more religious (as measured by frequency of church attendance) and those who are Protestant have highly negative views of the Mormon religion. The differences in views of Mormons among groups defined by their church attendance are significant. There is a net negative view of -21 points among Americans who attend church weekly, contrasted with a net positive view of +10 among those who seldom or never attend church.
  
  
• Protestants are significantly more negative in their views than Catholics, who are the most positive group by religion.
  
  
• There are minor partisan differences. Republicans are slightly more negative in their views of Mormons than are either independents or Democrats.
  
  
• There is a major difference by ideological group. Liberals are extremely negative in their views on a relative basis; 28% have favorable opinions and 61% unfavorable opinions. By contrast, conservatives are essentially evenly divided in their views, while moderates break to the positive side, with 48% favorable and 40% unfavorable opinions.
  
  
• Opinions of Mormons are better formed in the West, where the preponderance of Mormons live, and are slightly more positive than negative. Only 3% of those living in the West have no opinion whatever of Mormons.

I was also surprised that polygamy is still the first thing more people associate with the church than anything else.

Even among this group of Americans who have favorable opinions, Gallup finds that polygamy is the most frequently mentioned single impression of the religion. Officially, the LDS church has outlawed polygamy since 1890, and those who practice it are excommunicated. But the historical connection of the Mormon church with polygamy, more recent highly publicized cases of polygamists in the news, and perhaps the HBO show "Big Love" have kept the connection fresh in people's minds.

Not for the easily offended: Mormons as Al-Qaeda

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

I was very touched by this.

Craig Ferguson puts it out there

Here's an unusual late night monologue. In this two part clip, "The Late Late Show's" Craig Ferguson talks earlier this week about some things that have been bothering him about making fun of people on his program. It turns out that this talk show host wants to be able to sleep at night. Then he talks a bit about how he doesn't want to tell any Britney Spears' jokes because he just marked 15 years sober and then, well, if you don't have a lot of time, cue it up to around 4:50 to hear about some dark times.

Part 1


Part 2

Freeload: Upload a Ringtone to Your Cell Phone

Go out to the Internet and find a MIDI file you like. Make sure it's 20KB or smaller. Here's a Google search loaded with sites:
MIDI ringtones

Once you've downloaded the MIDI to your PC, head for the Freeload home page:
Freeload

There you'll upload the file to the Freeload server, and you'll get an eight-digit code to retrieve the MIDI using your cell phone.

While I was exploring, I noticed the site owner's warning--and I think it's great:

"READ THIS BEFORE YOU PRESS THE BUTTON: Freeload works for most phones with WAP and polyphonic tones. However, if it does not work for yours, I cannot suddenly make it work just because you e-mail me. I am not technical support for your phone. Don't e-mail me saying 'doesnt work 4 my fone wtf is up wit dis,' and then swear and whine at me when I'm not able to magically fix it."

Something I had not thought of

Silent running: For the environmentally minded, hybrid cars are an obvious boon -- great gas mileage, low emissions. For the blind pedestrian, though, there's a big downside: The cars, when in electric mode, make almost no noise, so it's difficult to be aware of them. While hard numbers on accidents involving the cars and the blind are hard to come by, some groups have swung into action. As the Wall Street Journal writes, "The National Federation of the Blind, an advocacy group, says all hybrid vehicles should emit a sound while turned on and is calling on the auto industry to make changes." Several schools for guide dogs reportedly will soon start to include hybrid car training with their animals. ("Blind Pedestrians Say Quiet Hybrids Pose Safety Threat," Wall Street Journal)

Will I Live To Be 80?

I recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"

"No," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you give a shit?"

Conan - iPhone Commercial

Don't know how long this will stay up but....

Study: Binge eating is No. 1 food disorder in USA

I almost want to say duh..... I was surprised to see the low percentages reported in the article, I would have thought they would be much higher.

BINGE, BY DEFINITION Binge eating disorder "is quite different from the ordinary munching you might do for the Super Bowl," says Harrison Pope Jr., a researcher who treats people with eating disorders at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. People who have the disorder "can't stop once they get started even though they feel uncomfortably full."

Obituary for Nathan Douglas Crow

So sad.

Nathan Douglas Crow 1/26/07 ~ 1/27/07 We will remember him In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we will remember him. In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we will remember him. In the opening buds and in the rebirth of spring, we will remember him. In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we will remember him. In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we will remember him. In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we will remember him. When we are weary and in need of strength, we will remember him. When we have joys we yearn to share, we will remember him. So long as we live, he too shall live, for he is now a part of us, as we remember him. It was so brief, the time we had with him, but in that time, we had so much. We will never forget the things he taught us, how strong we are learning to become. Now we must say goodbye, but we know, that some day, we will be together again. Survived by his mother and father, John and Lucinda Crow; his brother, Jordan, and sister, Camilla. Also survived by countless grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, who all love and miss him very much. In lieu of flowers, please make donations to an account at America First Credit Union, in his name, to help with medical costs. Services will be held at Neil O'Donnell & Son's Mortuary, 372 E. 100 S. in Salt Lake City, at 6:00 p.m. on Thursday February 1st. Call (801) 363-6641 for directions.
Published in the Deseret News on 2/1/2007.

My sister

I got an email last night from Diane saying that my other sister Julie had left a message on my mother's answering machine indicating that she was staying at a shelter.  Not sure of what kind of a shelter or anything else, but at least we know she is alive and presumably safe.

Joke: Taking Care of the cat....

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! (Lying just doesn't pay!)

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the
bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her back into the yard!"

........The cab driver hit a parked car

Codependence explained

An alcoholic of my acquaintance told the following joke recently: During the French Revolution, two alcoholics and a codependent are sentenced to the guillotine. The first alcoholic mounts the platform and places his head in the guillotine. When the blade falls, it mysteriously stops right before it severs his head. Astonished, the executioner proclaims it a miracle and frees the alcoholic. The second alcoholic steps to the platform and places his head in the guillotine. Again, the blade falls but mysteriously stops right before it severs his head. He, too, is freed by the astonished executioner. The third prisoner, the codependent, steps up on the platform, examines the blade and says, "I think I can fix this!"

law and order muppet style

If you need a smile today....

Says it all

Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts

Who thought they could improve upon an already perfect food?

DURHAM. N.C. - That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

While the product is not on the market yet, Bohannon has approached some heavyweight companies, including Krispy Kreme, Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks about carrying it.

Top ten worst domain names

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church . Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Need a laugh? Gladys Hardy on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

I think Ellen was had but it is still funny. Enjoy

Julie is Missing

Got an email from sister Diane this morning, turns out our other sister Julie has been missing for a week. Not the first time, but it is still upsetting.

Toddler's temper ousts family from plane

As a parent, I know that sometimes there is not much you can do to calm down a child. At the end of the article it said that the family said they would never fly on AirTran Airways again, but I am sure the rest of the passengers on the plane were happy they could take off and not have to wait for a 3-year-old to calm down first.

ORLANDO, Fla. - AirTran Airways on Tuesday defended its decision to remove a Massachusetts couple from a flight after their crying 3-year-old daughter refused to take her seat before takeoff.

Wii weight loss

Now here is an excellent excuse to spend time gaming...

Mickey DeLorenzo didn’t start out to lose weight. He just wanted to play with his Nintendo Wii. But all that arm waving caused him to work up a sweat. And the first thing he knew, nine pounds were gone.

I heard this on NPR the other day. Some people are just too stupid for words.

---

Police put squeeze on boa suspects

Friday, January 05, 2007

Jesse Tinsley

Plain Dealer Reporter

Cleveland Heights -- Returning to the scene of an exotic snake heist proved to be the dumbest of a string of mistakes by a mom-and-son shoplifting team that police said made off with a boa constrictor from a Lee Road pet store.

To accomplish the feat, a 15-year-old teen dared to wrap the 30-inch baby boa around his neck, hide it with his jacket and slither out of Petland, surveillance video shows. Police said his mother acted as a lookout.

On Dec. 22, a day after the reptile was stolen, the accused snake-nappers returned to the store and asked clerks for books on -- yes -- caring for boa constrictors, according to police reports.

Petland workers said the duo even went to the cage where the boa was nipped and inquired, nonchalantly, "What kind of boa was in this cage?"

Clerks recognized the pair, dressed in the same garb as on the day of the theft, from the video clips and stalled them until police arrived. After chatting up pet-shop staff for information on boa care, the relaxed teen purchased a feeder mouse for the snake, said Bobby Stuczynski, reptile and fish manager at Petland.

Police got there in about 60 seconds and arrested the accused boa bandits. They are Sebrina Hill, 35, of Belmar Road, and her son. Hill faces theft charges and will be appear in Cleveland Heights Municipal Court next month. The teen was booked and placed in the custody of relatives, police said.

Police reviewed the videotape, which they said shows a woman keeping a lookout as a teen took the $300, red-tail boa from its cage.

The fuzzy video also reveals what police said appeared to be the head of the boa sticking out of the youth's jacket collar.

That didn't surprise Stuczynski, who said the generally mild-mannered snake is a curious creature.

Even the laid-back red-tail boa can become aggressive under stress or if it fed improperly or kept in improper temperatures, Stuczynski said.

Police recovered the boa from the suspects' Belmar Road home. When it was returned to Petland, the staff, which had worried that the snake would become ill or die without proper care, erupted into cheers.

To reach this Plain Dealer reporter:

jtinsley@plaind.com, 216-999-4889

Speaking of Journaling: Iowa woman fired for journaling at work

Might be better not to do a lot of it at the office.

---

An administrative judge has denied unemployment benefits to a woman who was fired from her job for keeping a journal detailing her efforts to avoid work.

Emmalee Bauer, 25, of Elkhart, was employed by the Sheraton hotel company as a sales coordinator in Des Moines. While on the job, she kept a handwritten journal. A supervisor told her to stop writing on company time, but instead, Bauer wrote her journal, all 300 single-spaced pages, on her work computer.

In the journal, portions of which were introduced during a recent hearing regarding Bauer's request for unemployment, Bauer describes her efforts to avoid work.

"This typing thing seems to be doing the trick," she wrote. "It just looks like I am hard at work on something very important."

Bauer also wrote: "I am only here for the money and, lately, for the printer access. I haven't really accomplished anything in a long while ... and I am still getting paid more than I ever have at a job before, with less to do than I have ever had before. It's actually quite nice when I think of it that way. I can shop online, play games and read message boards and still get paid for it."

In her journal she speculated it could someday be published.

Bauer was fired for misuse of company time after a supervisor discovered the journal late last year.

Administrative Law Judge Susan Ackerman denied Bauer's request for unemployment last week, saying she the journal demonstrated a refusal to work, as well as Bauer's "amusement at getting away with it."

Why I write to a blog

"It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them." Isabel Colegate

Getting there

See, I could have sent this to everyone on my mailing list who is getting older....

I will just pretend that everyone who wants to see this will see it.

Quote from Phyllis Diller

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

Hanks. Tom Hanks

Sure, now you know about British actor Daniel Craig coming in and reviving the Bond franchise. But it almost didn't happen, because studio honchos wanted to take a safer route to success with a tried and true commodity. The sleuths at Chocolate Cake City and Double D Enterprises uncovered this preview of what might've been.

This and that

John and I are at the office, John is happily eating his buttered popcorn and surfing the web while I am finishing up some work. The popcorn smells really good since I haven't had dinner yet and I have all this holiday plus weight to get off. Had a nice lunch with Russell today. Russell went to get some substitute teacher training and came by on his way back.

John and I are about to go check on my friend's cat. I am not looking forward to changing the litter box but it needs to be done.

I am at the point in our software development cycle where I am not creating new functionality in my products, but am waiting for our quality assurance to find bugs so I am never sure how busy I am going to be on any given day. Today was slow which is good but a little boring.

Need a meeting?

Watch this video to see if you might need to attend this 12 step group :)

Down to four

Rachel went back to Provo on Friday afternoon. It is amazing how much quieter the house is now. John has taken to asking for Rachel again, he best hope is that she gets an internship in Texas this summer. John of course is not the only one who misses Rachel.

Barbara told me that the term in fact is internship, not a clerkship. Live and learn. Apparently clerkship is reserved for working with judges and the like.

It looks like Russell will be joining the ranks of substitute teachers while he waits to start law school. So everyone is busy and back to normal for the time being.

Congress Avenue reopened after dead bird investigation

Not a great way to start a new week. I don't work downtown (thank goodness) but the idea of random dead birds in any part of the town is pretty scary.

They have opened the street so the lucky workers can go back to their offices. I can't help but think of the canaries in the coal mines.

Trip to Houston to see Susan

John and I drove to Houston and back on Saturday to see his former school teacher Susan. John looks forward to his yearly summer visits to visit Susan and her husband Pat (aka 'Coach' to John). Susan was in town to visit her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren, so John and I decided to take the Prius out of town for the first time and go for a visit.

We were there for about five minutes before John decided that I should leave so he could have Susan's total attention. Luckily there was a mall a couple of miles away, so I went shopping at the mall while John and Susan bonded. A few hours later we met for lunch and John and I headed back to Austin.

Years ago I was in a gathering with my younger brother Joe where the discussion turned to the premise of "God never gives you more than you can handle," a concept that always makes me feel uncomfortable because I do feel overwhelmed when I take a moment to think about my life. Joe said something to the effect that God does sometimes give a person more than he or she can handle, but he also sends help. That is how I think of Susan, someone who God has sent to help us with John.

And then there were five

James and Emily took Harris and Jack home to Pittsburgh yesterday and this has been hard. It is sadly quiet around the house now.

I am really glad they came to visit this year, the kids have grown and it was a delight to spend time with all of them. I am impressed what great parents James and Emily are to the boys. I am very proud of James.


I was telling someone at work about Harry coming down the stairs yesterday morning as I was about to leave for work and he yelled out "Grandpa" and I was surprised how emotional I got telling (and now typing) the experience. They get under your skin very quickly.

I was also happy to see how matter-of-fact Harris was around John, he would ask John to join him playing with the marbles. John, Harris and Jack spent some time together watching videos which was really nice.

Today Rachel heads back to Provo to start on her fourth semester of law school. Time flies when you are having fun. On Wednesday she drove over to Houston to interview with a firm about a clerkship (I always want to say internship) for next summer. I hope she gets it, Houston is a much easier trip to make than one to Australia.

I asked her if she wanted someone to drive over with her and she reminded me that she had driven cars on the left side of the road in Australia and New Zealand, so she was confident she could handle a drive to Houston on her own.

Rabbit vs Snake

For the truly bored...

John's Doctor's visit

Barbara and I took John to see his doctor for a checkup this morning. John was pretty cooperative with the ear and balance tests. He was less so with all the questions from the medical assistant and the doctor.

The good news: John did much better on the tests than he did last fall. The doctor seems very optimistic which of course is great. The treatment will be more of the same plus trying some new medication to minimize some of his autistic mannerisms and sounds.

Stay tuned....

Lunch out with the kids

Went to a BBQ place called Rudy's that is very casual, we ate on the patio on picnic tables. You eat on big sheets of waxed paper so cleanup is a breeze. Good food and the grandkids seemed to like it! Jack really got into the spirit of things, he loved the potato salad and sausage.

I like taking John there because it is fast and he can eat what he likes, which is generally just the chicken.

Good Advice from Dear Abby

DEAR READERS: Rise and shine, my friends, and welcome a brand-new year! This is our chance for a new beginning. It is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I am printing Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct, and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

Quote for the day

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Peter De Vries

Christmas at work

Another Christmas tradition in progress. John gets a little panicky on a holiday when most things are closed, so we come into my office for an hour or so at a time. John has his pc, I have mine. I won't really do much in the way of work today, just chill out with John. Free Cokes, popcorn for John, what more can a guy want?

This year we will probably not be going to IHOP like we do most other years since my friend aka John's uncle Andy is out of town.

Only in Texas: Women: Demon afflicted co-worker

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Two women fired from the University of Texas at Arlington anointed a co-worker's cubicle with olive oil because they felt the worker was "demonically oppressed," according to university personnel records.

Evelyne Micky Shatkin and Linda Shifflett have filed a lawsuit alleging that they were wrongfully fired last spring based on their religion, age and gender after praying in the office for another staff worker.

The women say they and a male co-worker, who was not fired, stayed after work March 3 for the praying and religious cleansing.

According to the personnel records, the male co-worker became uncomfortable when Shatkin began chanting and rubbing scented oil on an absent co-worker's cubicle wall. In an e-mail to supervisors, the man quotes Shatkin as praying: "You vicious evil dogs. Get the hell out of here, in the name of Jesus. I command you to leave."

Shatkin and the co-worker for whom she was praying had a history of problems that led to mediation last year, according to the personnel files.

Most outrageous comments of 2006

Most outrageous comments of 2006: highlights and lowlights of the rightwing smear machine --

I remember coupons

The ones we got were better than these though! Babysitting coupons were very much appreciated.

Santa as I remember him as a kid

The Santa we all know and love was created for Coca-Cola in 1931 by Haddon Sundblom. FollowinThe Santa we all know and love was created for Coca-Cola in 1931 by Haddon Sundblom. Following are just a few examples of the Santa Claus ads used throughout the 35 years of Haddon Sundblom's Santa paintings.g are just a few examples of the Santa Claus ads used throughout the 35 years of Haddon Sundblom's Santa paintings.

Click on the link to see more examples.

NEOLOGISMS

Here is a case where I would normally send this off to everyone that I have an email address for. That is why there are blogs, so I can restrain myself.


Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words .
The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole.

Russell is home!

He actually came home Tuesday and it is great to have him home with us.

I often think of Russell and Christmas. When he was three or four he brought me in the K-Mart advertisement that featured a Batman Bike. I went to K-Mart, bought the bike, and he was as happy as could be on Christmas morning. Russell taught me a lot about asking for what you want present wise.

This year I will be as happy as can be because I will have what I really want, and that is the new toilets! Not to mention having all my kids home together again, along with my lovely daughter-in-law and wonderful grandchildren.

Overeater's Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care,
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer,
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds; now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn
Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
"In the morning I'll starve...
'til I take that first bite!"

John at the office

100_0657
Originally uploaded by davidmaus.

We spend a lot of time at the office while John is off school. It gives him somewhere he can go and the folks here at work are always glad to get a little more work out of me.

I just learned about flickr and the seamless way it adds photos to my blog. I took this picture in October on the way out of the office. John used to ask to go to the candy machine but now will happily eat a banana. That and the diet Coke make any visit to the office complete.

The Beaver Trilogy

This is episode 226 first played on 12/6/02. I love This American Life and you can imagine my joy to hear a segment that featured Beaver, Utah. You can listen to it online for free.

Act One. Action! Action! Action! Starlee Kine tells the story of a man more obsessed with reruns than even she is. Director Trent Harris made a movie called The Beaver Trilogy. It's whole movie that's a rerun, based on a personal rerun that Trent found himself caught in. Starlee saw the movie, and tells the remarkable story of why it was made. (27 minutes.)

Holiday Birthdays

For all my friends and family who have birthdays close to the holidays.

Self Serve Christmas

From my dad:

A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for family and friends a bit much one Christmas, so she wrote out checks for all of them to put in their Christmas cards.

In each card she wrote, "Buy your own present" and then sent them off.

After the Christmas festivities were over, she found the checks in her desk!

Everyone had gotten a Christmas card from her with "Buy your own present" written inside, but without the checks!

Wisdom

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

---

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

---

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

---

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

---

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

---

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

---

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

---

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

What were they thinking?

Saw this in the paper this morning:

'Extreme Makeover' cast holds fundraiser at La Zona Rosa

The goal was to raise $140,000 to pay off the mortgage for the O'Donnell family, whose current home has mold, a leaky roof and other problems.

Five of the six O'Donnell children have autism, and the new house will include amenities to help the children.

Not to be unkind, but why do people keep having more and more children with autism? I can barely handle one.

Memories

I just had to laugh when I saw this.

I don't think that there is a parent alive who has had teenagers who doesn't relate.

Struggling family needs car to take mom for cancer treatments

And I thought I had things bad....

Sernas rally around faith, one another in tough times.

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Monday, December 11, 2006

Emma, Christopher and their 12-year-old son, Rueben, are grateful for each other and the comfort they find in their faith. The many challenges they face have not diminished their hope for a better, healthier future.

Emma is battling cancer for the third time and has had numerous surgeries, including a mastectomy and the removal of a malignant brain tumor. Her husband, Christopher, is diabetic and suffers back pain, and Rueben is also a cancer survivor with a prosthetic eye that needs to be replaced soon.

Emma has limited vision, but the family has not been able to afford treatment. Thanks to Brushy Creek Eye Care of Round Rock, she will get the eye care she needs.

"This is a very deserving family," said Dr. Javier Zamora, who was moved to help after reading about the Serna family. "I found out Mrs. Serna has not been able to see well in years. I'm glad our gift will help improve her vision."

The Sernas also have received the beds they needed. But their most urgent and biggest need remains: a reliable vehicle to get Emma from San Marcos to San Antonio for cancer treatment. She often has to make the trip every day, and it's a mad scramble to try to find transportation.

They would also like to have a computer for Rueben, a straight-A student who sells newspapers on the weekend to help with family finances. And a television would bring some entertainment into their lives.

After the Sernas' needs are met, Community Action Inc. will distribute additional donations to other families with similar needs. To reach the agency, call (512) 392-1161.

Plaid Tidings

Had the best time tonight watching this at the Zachary Scott Theater.
I had seen Forever Plaid years ago at the Zach so this was a lot of fun. Two of the singers were in the original production.

This was the first time I had been to a production in their new theater. It used to be a bike shop next door to the other theaters. The stage was nice but there was a lack of bathrooms. There were two porta potties in front of the building. Glad I didn't have to make a potty break at intermission.

Nice moment

With all the craziness of remodeling, no toilets and waiting on delivery men and plumbers, it was nice to have a happy lunch with John today.

On Saturday I promised him that we would have lunch at Macaroni Grill today. We both ordered our favorites, John loves the Spaghetti and meatballs, I had the spinach salad. John was very happy to be there, was on his very best behavior, and was a joy to sit with. Since we were there early, we got to sit by a nice warm fire on this cold and rainy day.

One things about dining out with John, they remember you. I went with a co-worker there one time when it was busy. The manager recognized me and sat us immediately because I was a valued customer.

Flatulent passenger grounds flight

Here is an example of something I would probably send to everyone I know if I didn't have a blog...

NASHVILLE, Tenn., Dec 6 (Reuters Life!) - It may be one problem airline security officials never envisioned -- a passenger lighting matches in flight to mask odors from her flatulence.

The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing on Monday in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Washington, D.C., said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for Nashville's airport.

Other passengers reported the odor of burned matches, but the woman was not forthcoming when asked about it, Lowrance said on Wednesday.

"Of course, she was scared and embarrassed but all the passengers had to disembark, all the luggage had to be searched, a canine team was brought in, and about three hours were consumed in sorting out the situation," she said.

The woman was not allowed back on the flight and barred from flying on American Airlines, Lowrance said.

"Since there was no malice involved and the incident was accidental, she was not charged with anything," she said.

Passengers are permitted four books of paper safety matches on a plane but cannot light them during flight, Lowrance said.

Fa-la-la-la-lawsuit. - By Dahlia Lithwick - Slate Magazine

Company part invite.

Fa-la-la-la-lawsuit. - By Dahlia Lithwick - Slate Magazine:

"WARNING: You are herein invited to attend a Holiday Party. Should you choose to attend this event, you are herein advised that you do so at your own peril. Food served may be manufactured in factories that may contain machinery that may have touched peanuts. In the absence of any coherent party-based sexual-harassment policy, you are warned that any hugging/touching/casual flirting/wine-stem fondling/hair tossing/breast gazing/butt grabbing will be deemed actionable at law. All guests must maintain a 5-foot distance from all others at all times (spouses included). Appropriate topics for conversation are: work; sports; light political banter; reality-television shows. Any unapproved conversational topics shall be cleared in advance by the Human Resources department. All dance moves shall be preapproved by the HR department. Seminars on these moves shall be conducted twice daily in the small conference room on the second floor between now and the day of the party. All closets, conference rooms, restrooms, and other possible areas of sexual misconduct are to be padlocked for the duration of the event. Small children are to be chaperoned at all times. Any child found playing or otherwise conducting himself in a childlike manner will be summarily removed from the premises. Should you or your partner feel at any point during the party that you have been sexually harassd, socially discomfited, religiously proselytized, or otherwise made to feel uneasy in any way, a team of HR lawyers will be made available to you immediately. Do not minimize your feelings or wait a few days to see if the bad feeling blows over. Prompt attention to any social discomfort is critical to eradicating it in the workplace. Once again, we wish you and yours a very happy holiday season, and hope to make this year's office party the best ever."

What is Diabetes? From Insulin Resistance to Type 2 Diabetes - How Diabetes Develops

A very interesting article about diabetes. It is a little scary since the premise is that if you do well on low-carb diets you might be prediabetic.

What is Diabetes? From Insulin Resistance to Type 2 Diabetes - How Diabetes Develops: "

# It is worth figuring out whether you are on Diabetes Road. If you are likely to be insulin resistant or prediabetic, there are steps you can take to lower your risk.
# People who respond well to low carb diets often have difficulties processing sugar. This in itself could be a sign that you are on the road to diabetes.
# Take this seriously. This is not something to ignore or be in denial about. Insulin resistance itself is associated with a higher risk for not only diabetes, but certainly heart disease, stroke, and possibly Alzheimer's disease and some cancers. Diabetes has many more complications. The more you can preserve the cells in your pancreas, the better off you will be.
# Different people who are at different points along the road may respond to different amounts of carbohydrate reduction. Reducing high glycemic carbohydrates such as added sugar and refined white grains such as products made with white flour is a good place to start. You can learn more about carbohydrate reduction on this site."

Me and John - home alone

Barbara is off to SLC again this weekend so John and I are batcherloring it again. Had a quiet weekend so far, did a little Christmas shopping for Barbara and Rachel, and then John did some for himself.

This week I am taking a few days off for an early Christmas present for myself, we are getting the bathrooms and laundry room tiled. We have been in the house for 14 years this month and things that seem like they should be brand new are in desperate need of replacement. With the new floors in the bathrooms we are also replacing the toilets. It seems like when we built our house the low flush toilet technology was in it's infancy, and to be blunt things don't always flush away like they should. We only have two working toilets out of four bathrooms at this point, so it will be a great thing to have to four toilets that actually flush.

Next week we are replacing the carpet in the livingroom, halls and master bedroom with hard wood flooring. Should look nice and be more allergy correct also.

Cries of fake baby cause car crash

This was too good.... I have vivid memories of my children and their pretend babies in middle school. Rachel was lucky enough to have twins.

One teenage girl in Pleasanton, Calif., took a school project designed to teach the rigors of childcare a little too seriously, the Associated Press reports today.
The 17-year-old, whose name has not been released, was driving a Mini Cooper 65 miles per hour on the freeway. She'd just picked up her passenger -- an educational baby doll, designed to periodically bawl and wet itself, as well as record how long the student "parent" takes to respond to the infant's needs. When the doll started crying, the startled driver swerved into a guardrail and then slammed into a pickup truck. As police arrived, the girl was trying to comfort the doll. While no one was hurt in the crash, this student might need to take a refresher course of driver's ed; among other lessons, she apparently missed the section on how it's illegal to drive without a license.

Meanwhile, a new study shows that a recent, dramatic decline in teen pregnancy in the U.S. was due to the increased use of contraception, not abstinence. There was no word on the influence of classroom instruction on newborn care.